Love Letters from Nicky

Apparently, these were sent a week ago, but I never noticed until today, when I went in to clean out my inbox.  Both are replies to a really ancient post here on TRN.  Read ’em, and LOL.

This one came in on the 12th at 6:11 pm:

Author: Nickolaus Pacione (IP address: [redacted])
Email: nickolaus.pacione@facebook.com
URL: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/UncleFossil/1418390/
Comment:
I didn’t event shit.  I revealed something about you that you failed to omit.  The Rusty Nail’s sources were a bunch of pseudo-academia fabulists who fabricated every source about me.  Fan History got the history right about me as I invaded Barker’s website in 2000. The slash fandom sees me as a threat because of The Fandom Writer as The House of Pain E-Zine picked this because she knew my hatred for Melissa Brite went back to turning 20.  Look you Taig, you realize you encountered someone who got your goat because they told the truth at your expense. The Rusty Nail’s lackeys aka some of your noted fanbase was caught red handed plagiarizing some of my better known creative nonfiction outings like a little faggot.  I didn’t get noticed for writing about talking dogs, you did.  I got noticed because I got into it with trolls as I was never a fucking troll as you claim.  You whitewashed the history in the independent press as you didn’t realize what I did when The Cabbie Homicide emerged.

I “got noticed” for writing about talking dogs?  That’s news to me.  His ad hominem attack is to be expected; unfortunately, he missed on both my ethnic heritage and religion.  I agree he didn’t “event” shit.”  He didn’t invent it, either, but he’s awfully familiar with pounding away on a keyboard to produce it.

This one was sent nine minutes later, at 6:20 pm:

Author: Nickolaus Pacione (IP address: [redacted])
Email: nickolaus.pacione@facebook.com
URL: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/160440805453586167/
Comment:
“FBI file” sounds like you fabricated that source like you drew from many of your sources about me.  If one shits on The Cabbie Homicide, they missed the point of why I wrote it.  I was the same age as it came from a frightening taxicab confession as I found the article about the case as it unfolded between 1993-1994.  I introduced something quite real as I am criminally underestimated — Melissa Brite’s big mistake in 2003.  I was already a cult writer by the time I wrote Cabbie as my would be publisher in 2005 discovered this piece as it appeared on AuthorsDen.com. Instead of urinating on my name verbally on a regular fucking basis you should see what I accomplished by introducing H. P. Lovecraft into a public school.  I held my own with him as Ramsey Campbell did as I also held my own with Kevin Lucia (by the way you’re welcome for me finding him.)  Instead of acting like a little bitch when someone told the truth about you and your tenor on The House of Pain — I discovered your “schmuck bait” button.  Mention The Clause in the same sentence as The Cabbie Homicide;  as you got freight-trained the second time when I showed you “You’re In” with a creative nonfiction piece no one saw before.  You’re dealing with someone who found Stephen Glass’ fabricated bullshit on a whim.

At least he didn’t misspell his story title this time.  Remember the one version he published with the title “The Cabbie Homocide”?  WTF is he talking about with a “schmuck bait” button on House of Pain?  For that matter, wtf is “You’re In”?

I used to be better at interpreting his word salad.  I must getting a bit, um, rusty.  Oh, well, it’s been a while.

Nicky Should Have Arrived

Nothing yet from Nicky?  He should be there with Sheryl and Mark by now.  He did mention something a week or so ago about having sound on his computer when he gets to mommy and step-dad’s house.  Whether that means they have a new computer for him there, or his messed up sound drivers will magically reinstall themselves upon arrival is not known.  I’m curious to know how the trip went, and how much money he blew in the dining and bar cars on Amtrak.

On a completely different subject, it looks like one of our Kubota tractors is having a bit of an engine problem.  It’s the old one with shift drive, and power steering by “Armstrong.”  One of the cyclinders appears to have either quit, or was only partially working, after rototilling a half dozen rows worth of lawn for what will become our main kitchen garden.   It lost significant power to the rototiller attachment, and was belching out twice as much exhaust as usual, including some that had a bit of a blue tinge to the white-ish, instead of the occasional puff of black-ish, like it’s supposed to have.  For now, we’ll see if the rototiller can be hooked up to the three point hitch and power take-off on the smaller, hydrodrive tractor.  The front end loader should provide enough ballast.

We stopped by Tractor Supply Company yesterday for some spare hitch pins, another heavy duty j-hook ratchet strap, a 35 lb. bag of bird seed, 20 Jersey Knight asparagus crowns (always a reliable variety in heavy, rocky clay), and one Chicago Hardy fig whip.  The cashier told me she expected them to get in more Honeycrisp apple whips (they always seem to have an empty bin of them when we go there).  The chicks and ducks are still in stock, although I wouldn’t know what to do with them, if we bought any.

Back to my original subject:  where’s Nicky?  My apologies to the writer of this kids’ song for bastardizing the lyrics:

Oh where, oh where
Has our little Nick gone?
Oh where, oh where can he be?
With his height cut short
And his hair cut long
Oh where, oh where can he be?

UPDATE:

The rototiller attachment was successfully transfered off the old tractor onto the new one, and is making short work of digging up the rest of the lawn area we marked off for the new veggie garden.  Excellent.  It beats the hell out of having to dig up the rest by hand with shovels!  We can plant the asparagus crowns today, if we want, in another garden area, but it’s still too early to direct sow anything, or plant nightshade family seedlings we’re growing indoors for now.  It seems unlikely, but we could still get a snow dump later in April.

It’s Moving Day

Today is the big day.  Nicky makes the move from Morris, IL, to Pinellas Park, FL.  Thanks to Baup doing the research, we have an itinerary of sorts:

If I’m reading the Amtrak schedule properly, Nikki is in for a hell of a ride.
He has a
Six hour layover in Chicago
Seventeen and a half hour ride from Chicago to DC
Six hour layover in DC
Seventeen and a half hour ride from DC to Orlando
Just under 3 hour bus ride from Orlando to Clearwater

Holy guacamole, Batman!  That leaves an awful lot of room for him to toddle off and get lost between connections.  Even if he doesn’t, it’s going to take him roughly 50 hours to get to Clearwater.  Will Sheryl or Mark go pick him up at the bus station, or will he pull a Stella, and rely upon the kindness of strangers?  Only The Shadow knows …

He should have taken Greyhound.  It’d be faster and cheaper.  It’d be funny as all get out if he ended up at the Scientology Center in Clearwater.  Can you imagine the fuss he’d cause?

It’s Aliiiiiiive!

Hat tip:  Sabledrake

After laying low for a while, I have it on good authority that Nicky’s reared his head once again.  He’s been harassing Brian Keene over the past week or two. My understanding is that the gist of it is some nonsense about how his Social Security number isn’t a toy, and how Nicky needs it to get a job.  Nicky, of all people, wanting to get a job?  Ha!  I wonder whether that was a precondition for moving in with Sheryl and Mark.  Unless he starts taking showers and washing his hair a few times a week, nobody’s going to hire him, even to stock shelves at WalMart.  Plus, his track record has been such that he either gets fired, or quits, within a few weeks.

He’s moving to Pinellas Park in three days.  Shouldn’t he be more worried about that than using his Tracphone to harass other people?  Anyway, he posted this last night to his public FB page.

It was accompanied by a very nice photo of Mr. Keene, copyrighted in 2014 by John Urbancik.

Nicky Has Hemorrhoids

Hat tip:  Just Me

He posted this on his public author page on FB.  As George Takei would say, “Oh, my.”

This begs several questions.  Which female household member made the 911 call?  Would the Nickster have noticed the excess stink, otherwise?  Why did this warrant a call to 911 to get an ambulance, unless Nicky was screaming about bleeding out?  Was it too hard to drive him 3-ish miles to the local hospital in a personal vehicle, then fumigate it later?

There really is such a thing as TMI.  That FB post was it.

Given that Nicky is freaked out about his move to Pinellas Park on the 31st, does anyone want to place a bet on him entering the hospital again on the 30th?  Asking for a friend.  😉

Nicky’s Moving to Florida

Nicky posted on his public FB page that he’s moving to Florida at the end of next month.  Considering that this was posted over a week ago, it seems like an awfully leisurely packing job he’s planning.  Most people can pack up the entire contents of a four or five bedroom house in half that time (or less), while putting in 40+ hour work weeks.  All it takes is good use of their evenings and weekends.

He’s said before that he hates hot weather.  Either he’s going to have to buy a pair of shorts to wear in the summer, or stay indoors in the air conditioning.  It’s not too wild an assumption to make that the decision to move in with Sheryl and Mark was a last resort, and that he was unable to find other accomodations in Chicagoland.  Stay tuned …

Where Is Nicky Moving?

According to Nicky’s public Facebook page, he’s packing up, and getting ready to move out, because his grandparents’ old house is in probate.

I’ve no idea what having e-stories available has to do with keeping this particular FB entry brief.  Regardless, it’s sad to see him have to move.  He had it good there for so many years.

I hope for his sake he can stay somewhere in the area.  Leaving greater Chicagoland would be so heartbreaking to him.

 

UPDATED Lake Fossil Press Anthologies: The Condensed Volumes

Hat tip:  Sabledrake

(Scroll down for the update)

Looks like Nikita may be back on Lulu.  You can click on the image to view it full size, without the blurry text.   The listing dives right into Pacione’s feud with Brian Keene.  Nobody would do that, except Nickypoo.  In fact, there’s absolutely nothing there in the product description about its contents.  It concludes with:

The controversial publisher and editor allowed this publication to return here because the layout was too complex for who he works with now This is so the truth can be set free as Pacione does some revealing truths in the introduction.

I take it that means he couldn’t figure out how to make his god-awful cover and formatting work with whatever printer he’d been using.

Thoughts?

lake-fossil-press-anthologies-the-condensed-volumes-by-deno-sandz-paperback-lulu

UPDATE:

Hat tip:  Fallout3

It seems Nicky also added another listing for the same book, only modifying the last paragraph of the product description, and using Ray R. Wise’s name.  As if that weren’t enough, he started a “Bring Nick Back: The Decader” Spotlight page, using the name “Saul J. Iscariot.”  Both screenshots are clickable to see them in full size.

The last paragraph of the Ray R. Wise listing now reads:

The 2015 introduction shows a revealing truth about Questionable Content — the whole Global Consumerism is a joke.

I also heard that he was back on Goodreads sending out nasty comments and messages to people he dislikes, but Goodreads put a stop to that pretty quickly.  See what happens when he doesn’t have an uncle around to keep him in line?

lake-fossil-press-anthologies-the-condensed-volumes-by-ray-r-wise-ebook-lulu

lulu-saul-j-iscariot-s-books-and-publications-spotlight