Nicky the Martyr

Again, I have ExposeTheTard to thank for this gem of a profile for Mr. Pacione, dating back eight years, to when he was 24, and hot to trot, ladies. Only Pacione would use his profile to post a rant.

The Basics
Member Name: urbanizedsin
Name: Nickolaus Albert Pacione
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Marital Status: Single and Looking
Occupation: webmaster, writer
Location: Morris, IL

[. . .]

Those that are from Hampton, Iowa, and openly are judgemental can go suck on a monkey’s genitialia. The staff at the Mason City Public Library can go to hell for banning my ass — you tried to kill my site by banning me, I was beat down in the name of the First. I am a martyr of free speech and press.

Martyr, my ass. He’s gotten so many of his accounts shut down because he has threatened many people and repeatedly violated TOS. I heard about the library incident years ago, but until now was unable to place a time frame to it. It had to have been 1999 or earlier.

I am gothic in my own right since I write of things that are dark, but at the same it could and has happened in reality. I write about people’s phobias.

No. He writes about his own phobias: arachnaphobia, claustrophobia, and apiphobia, to name a few. He also writes about his own mental illnesses. At various times, he’s described himself as “manic depressant,” bipolar, and megalomaniac. Paranoia and delusions come with the territory, so to speak, and he displays them in abundance, both in his blog entries and in his short stories.

He likes to write, but is not a professional writer. He has no professional credits. I like to play hockey, but that doesn’t make me Wayne Gretzky. I haven’t won a Stanley Cup. Winning a few pick-up games on the local pond doesn’t exactly count, any more than his “success” getting to print his dreck.

This has to be the strangest thing I’ve ever seen Mr. Pacione write.

It seems like Koehler just committed an act of Jihad on my ass. Yep she’s the type that would ram a pair of jets into someone’s business like that. That is a fuck you rant of fuck you rants right there, Koehler you’re the one who is holding writers hostage bitch!

I’m still trying to decipher that last sentence.

He links to a five page article he posted on Associated Content.  He rated his own article a 4.0 of 5.0.  I think the article is nothing but a huge rant against Ms. Koehler in particular, and mid-list horror authors in general, but it’s really hard to tell.

The only snail oil sales lady is the person trying to put a hex on the series and succeeded to get one author stabbing in the back in the process.

What on earth is snail oil?  Is it a hot commodity?

Rivalries like this do go on for years and I am trying to avoid it in the sense that I am just trying to get the authors discovered and paid along the way.

First, he’s the one who drags out imaginary rivalries.  Second, paying authors if and when he feels pressured to do so isn’t exactly considered professional.

Doing Tabloid Purposes is always been something to get an author out there – either new or established alike, but always had that small bunch of mid-list assholes going around making their lives difficult for that reason.

For what reason?  I don’t buy into the premise that mid-list authors waste their time and energy discouraging aspiring writers.  What would be their reason?  Because they contributed to one of the Toilet Paper anthologies, or because they are new authors?  Either way, a TP contributor has a long way to go to become a rival to any mid-list author.

From what I can tell, any “rivalry” among mid-list authors tends to be rather friendly.  Authors aren’t really competing for readers.  It’s not as if a reader will toss a coin and decide to read Author A instead of Author B if it lands heads-up.

I am going to use her own words against here, don’t be afraid to use the internet to learn more about the author – there are three sides to the story, theirs – yours, and the truth.

I beg to differ — slightly.  The third side of the story is the one that can be documented, and not easily electronically altered.

I am not going to blow sunshine up someone’s ass when I don’t like a story that I read, and when I like the story a lot I will e-mail the author asking if they would want to be part of the magazine or part of an anthology

If I don’t like a story I read, I normally will point out in a review, politely, what I think is wrong with it:  grammar, spelling, plot, story flow, dialog, etc.  If I like it, I will say what I like about it.  Since almost every book I buy is professionally edited, I don’t expect to find much more than a few typos that escaped proofreading.

Be lucky this isn’t the century of Andrew Jackson. Otherwise I’d be drawing a duel – two guns, take ten paces turn around and open fire at each other.

I envision Hamilton vs. Burr, with Pacione playing the role of Aaron Burr.

When I see online names like I think when I see something that is good in my eyes – I will do everything I can to get the author discovered. I pay them yes, but also the bigger payout is when they see their story on the big screen.

So, when does “TP, the Movie” come to a Clearview or Loews near me?

So being a print on demand author has a few strikes against me and working with has the natives restless. appears to be the kiss of death unless you want to print calendars or greeting cards.  It’s a printer, perhaps a notch above Kinko’s in quality, but a printer nonetheless — not a publisher.

Stalking me on and going around digging all the dirt you can about me. I will say this right now – there is a war waiting to brew and she’s starting the jihad, a holy war.

What’s up with “jihad” other than it’s become Pacione’s latest verbal tic?  “Stalking me on” is what throws me for a loop.  If his tirade is about Ms. Koehler, where would stalking and some reunion website fit into the puzzle?

People like this one person calling me the snail oil salesman will fail, they’re designed to fail.

Anyone who attempts to sell “snail oil” will indeed fail.

I think when someone like that is trying to force hiatus on someone – that’s a jihad waiting to happen.

He’s got the definition of jihad wrong, but he did finally manage to spell hiatus correctly.  Mr. Pacione is making progress!

If you want to know what I am talking about look no further than her rant the blog she made on November 19, 2007.

Pacione didn’t link to it, but I believe he’s referring to this entry.  The comments are amusing.  Personally, I think Ms. Koehler’s entry about Googling everything and everyone is right on the mark.


Janrae alerted me to this before it showed up in my feed reader. We have another double-header today, insipired no doubt by Nicky obsessing over the comments left on The Rusty Nail.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The guy named dudelove

That guy gets it. I am smiling wide because finally someone gets it. I might not have read Richard Laymon but I read some of his contemporaries. I was tipped off he’s a huge fan of the small press so I am going to point him to a few places where he can get some of my work in the print only medium.

It’s not clear to me whether Pacione’s referring to Dudelove or Laymon when he harps about “that guy gets it.” He may mean both of them. We all know how the tiniest ounce of praise, however phony, makes Nicky feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s funny how Nicky would never question someone’s motivation for praising him, yet he imagines all kinds of conspiracy plans the second someone suggests he use a Strunk & White.

Yes folks, Dudelove is god, and Mr. Laymon is still alive and interested in Pacione’s work. I do believe that was a rather large peccary that just flew past my office window.

The fact that some think Iuniverse and became the downfall of an author’s career. Bullshit, it is the medium to allow authors to get anthologies out there and send them to another publisher and show them what the author has out there.

Pacione really doesn’t get it. An editor will take one look at a bound copy of someone’s self-published dreck and show the person the door. Proof-copies serve an altogether different purpose; Pacione’s talking about copies that are already for sale to the general public. It screams that: a) he knows nothing about the difference between a manuscript, a proof copy, and a self-published book already for sale to the general public, and b) “no legitimate publisher would acquire this, so I had to self-publish it through a printer.” It says a few other things as well, but I’ll leave it at that.