New Videos

There are two more Pacione videos.

Belch.  I spewed coffee out my nose.  Really, I should know better by now than to watch these things with a beverage in hand.

I couldn’t understand a word he said other than “professional” and “Britney,” but it does seem as if he cut the camera right before he burst into tears.  Call a waahmbulance.  Is this one for real, or did someone doctor it from others?

Lulu TV, Or “The Village Vidiot”

This is from Mr. Pacione’s Lulu TV page.  He has yet to upload video to it.


Age: 31 years old

Sex: male

Relationship Status: single

Zip Code: 60450

Talents: Editing (print) photography

Primary Specialty: Cameraman

I am author — just do the video thing more as a way to blog when I don’t get to a computer.


His description is the funniest part.  It’s contradicts what he lists as his talents and primary specialty.  Doesn’t he realize that he has to be at a computer to upload the video?  As always, Pacione makes no sense.

(apologies to Ogden Nash)


Pacione’s new video is a talkie!  Our favorite Goth Wannabe announces his promotional giveaway with his best radio host voice.  If I listen very carefully, I can understand every third word.  It’s not unlike his writing, in that regard.  He actually plucks Insomnia Magazine off his shelf and flips through it from back to front a few times.

The camera I am using here is a Mustek Mpg4 DV5300.

Yes, folks, that’s a $100 camera!  That explains the excellent video quality.

When I do the back story for LAKE FOSSIL it will be done in the city walking around one of the river walks that I had in mind when I first wrote the story.

Spare me.

Book Signings

Pacione has another video blog up on MySpace tv.  He also left another long-winded entry on Goth at LJ.

(Yeah the anthology got an ISBN finally — just got done redesigning the copyright page on the thing, so I will be loading up on the ISBN versions and start bugging the shit out of the brick and mortar book stores in the area.

Driving bookstore owners and managers up a wall is always a good way to get your books carried.

I am looking to do Screamfest next year, just working on the details of getting a table hell even Flashback in Chicago sounds tempting right now. I just need to find out how much is it for a table for the event and how many books I will need to load up on.

How much money is he looking to lose?  Not one of these events has been profitable for Mr. Pacione.

I had to turn down the event that is going on at the Abby the weekend after Christmas, but I will be looking around to do a couple book signings in the area . . .

He makes it sound as if the event organizers were begging him to attend.  More likely is that he can’t afford to attend.

Maybe I might be able to do plan a few signings in Tampa, Florida, next year. Would give me an excuse to go visit my family down there.

Here’s a suggestion:  set up a card table at the end of granny’s driveway.  It’s cheaper, and I don’t think his step-father wants him around.

If you guys want information about starting your own Goth or horror mag, I can give you a few tips how to get it started.

Did Pacione suddenly become successful when I wasn’t paying attention? He’s the last person I’d ask for advice.


Pacione’s pulled another one of his stunts in which he goes back to earlier entries and supplements them with even more lunacy.

He’s got another email from “Valentinevegen” up there.  What a maroon.  The general consensus is that he appears to be writing these to himself.

You fucking dared me asshole, and yes I got the balls to do it again. If I had sound it would piss you off even more because I would had done a video tape flushing Brian Keene’s picture down the toilet after I’ve taken a nice big steaming shit on it.

Personally, I think these silent rage videos are hilarious.  We all get a close up of Pacione’s yellow weasel teeth.  I particularly liked the one in which he adopts a bit of a lockjaw, but animatedly moves his lips.  Yes, they’d be even funnier with sound, but only because he’s got the helium voice of a five-year-old girl.  He reminds me of a rabid gerbil.

I don’t know what his obsession with knowing what his detractors look like, but now a simple photo isn’t good enough.  Pacione is demanding to see video.

Grow a dick and do a video showing who you really are!

I want to know how he thinks he’s going to flush that down the toilet.  Will he set his monitor on the floor, take a crap on it, and videotape himself dancing around in glee?  I really shouldn’t give the boy ideas.

More Video

Pacione’s got more home video up on LJ in the Goth community.

Hello all this is just loaded up today and you get to see what I have in my personal book collection. I have shitty lighting in the house . . .

That’s an understatement.  All I can see is a sea of blackness, with an occasional half face in red with a receding hairline.  As for books, well, I can’t see any.

I will be doing more vlogs as time goes on and adding more to this when I figure out how to do some with both video cameras.

I take it that he has two video cameras and can’t figure out how to work either one.  Even my cell phone can do a better job.

. . . it will take me more time to go more into detail in what I am looking for in the submissions.

Such as how to format them, and where to send them.  You know — the basics.

Video Follow-up

Pacione cross-posted his video on his Goth community at LJ, with different text.

I didn’t say I was a film maker this was my first attempt at doing home movies and all that good stuff.

And, it took him a month just to figure out how to transfer the clip off his camera onto his computer.

I was rushed in doing it because I didn’t have the speakers but I will have those inside od the month.

I fail to understand how not having speakers causes a four week delay in posting a video.  What that sentence does tell me, however, is that yet another writer will continue to go unpaid while he spends the money on himself.

. . . but one rule is this, no swiping of video but if you want to link the video from your own journal use the original post url where it comes from.

Good.  That’s precisely what I did in my previous entry, as well as this one.  It thrills me to no end to know that I have Mr. Pacione’s permission.  He’ll have a hard time trying to justify bitching at me for following his instructions.

First Video Blog

I see that Mr. Pacione finally got around to putting up a video blog. I wondered whether those audio clips that have been posted various places over the years were altered. Apparently not. If his voice changed during puberty, what did it sound like beforehand?

If you bastards go around stealing video from someone that is being dumb . . .

Is that somehow more inexcusable than stealing a video from someone who isn’t being dumb?

I had to listen several times to be sure, but Pacione really did say “high-tay-us” for hiatus, and “Coach Coolberson” instead of Coach Culbertson. Oh, my poor ears!

I will tar and feather the mother fucker who steals my video footage.

Since the only thing in the entire video that was close to being in focus was the Gothicfest sign in the background, it’s unlikely that anyone would steal it. It certainly wasn’t worth my effort to embed the code. I wonder whether this was taken before, or after, he lost his tripod.