Convos: The Video Version

You’ve heard the soundtrack.  Get ready for the video!

No, I didn’t put this together, but I do think it’s great.  The details are what make it:  the shifty eyes, the sputtering, the yellow teeth, the Giants cap, the RAEG . . .


Answering Machine Love from Peaches

Oh, lord.  Anyone who leaves messages on an answering machine is well aware they are being recorded, because, well, that’s what answering machines do.  Here’s the intro that accompanies it:
After getting the number to my company, Nicky continues to leave unpleasant messages (even after me asking him numerous times to stop calling via email) and his phone harassment peaks with him threatening my life, breaking the law. He has always threatened my life over the internet, but this was the first time he did so over the phone, and certainly not the last…

New Websites

It didn’t take long for whoever registered and to get them up and running.  There’s an announcement on SL about the former.  All the talk on ETT about both made me curious.  They were both live when I checked this morning.

In case our favorite Italian meatball is reading this, no, I don’t own either one of those domains.  Whoever got them registered and hosted, however, should be prepared to receive death threats, and demands to turn them over for free to the Nickster, as well as pay for hosting for him, for the duration of the registration period.

An Unfortunate Accident at Facebook

I suspect that “Carol” is Carol Sullivan, one of his contributors, and a member of Nicky’s new forum.  Anyway, this was posted at the Lake Fossil Press newsgroup on Yahoo.

I don’t have a Facebook account.  Does anyone know what happened over there?

He also asked that we each as him as our Facebook friend so he can stay in touch!

That sentence is marginally better than one Peaches might write.  “Read what I meant, not what I typed!  K thx bai.”

$3 Guidelines

In the past, we’ve seen Nicky try to sell a used pair of his jeans “that shrunk,” and a rubber rat, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen him try to sell his guidelines.

Step right up, folks!  For a mere $3, you can download the guidelines for a TP that was due out last year.  If that’s not enough for you, he’ll throw in the GLs for TP7.


Downloads immediately

The guidelines for every anthology planned by Lake Fossil Press — Tabloid Purposes 6 and 7 GLS are book one and two. Then the AuthorsDen anthology is planned — this one is long been planned but didn’t have the GLs for it.

What’s that, you ask?  GLs for every upcoming anthology, except for Avarice?  Besides, the GLs for TP6:66 were put out for free a long time ago.  Unless I’m mixing up TP and EG, I thought he recently said he was canceling TP6.

Product Details

Publisher Lake Fossil Press and Broken Mindframe Books.
Copyright ©2010 Nickolaus A. Pacione (Standard Copyright License)
Language English
Country United States
Publication Date January 12, 2010

As if that wasn’t funny enough, he misspelled the name of one of his imprints on page one of the preview — Broken Mindfframe.  Way to show off your editing skills, Peaches!

BTW, whatever happened to Angry Guinea Press?

Tabloid Purposes 5

Wasn’t there some talk on MySpace last winter or spring about trademarking the Tabloid Purposes name?  I wonder what became of that.

Friday, November 02, 2007

drawing up the guidelines for Tabloid Purposes V

Purposes Five is going to be drawn up but I am also going to dredge up
the reading list and in fact planning to get one book before I finish
the guidelines for this.

I might suggest that Mr. Pacione pay another writer before he buys himself another copy of his own dreck.  In Coach Culbertson’s interview posted by Mike Duran, Culbertson says that self-publishing can be a way to lose money, and that his magazine is just about at the break-even point (to paraphrase).  Pacione has yet to hit the break-even point, and he still owes writers from previous anthologies money.

Nicholas Cook, if you think I am such a shitty editor why don’t you
take a stab at editing an anthology with some of your friends to see
what happens.

Mr. Pacione can’t seem to get it through his pea-brain that not everyone is interested in editing an anthology.  The fact remains that what Pacione calls editing is nothing more than doing copy-and-paste, and reformatting.  He can’t even proofread properly, let alone edit anything.

Tabloid Purposes is a darker project and it is more involved with it.
The fact that none of the authors involved just want to be read.

Believe me, they won’t be read if they get their stories printed in one of Pacione’s anthologies.  He’s a one trick pony; anthologies in general are a hard sell, and his are abominable, yet he persists.

I learned of a book that will be similar to An Eye In Shadows — an expose book called AN INDUSTRY OF CRONYISM also contains two years worth of research. I am waiting to see this book hit the streets too when it is finally finished.

If it contains as many juicy fantasies and reminiscences of being locked in a gym locker as “An Eye in Shadows,” then it will sell just as few copies.

I am recently armed with who the trolls are, and why they’re doing it.
Being they’re a bunch of mid-list nobodies who don’t have a notable
title out there unless they sucked someone’s dick to get the review.

So, wait.  I’m a mid-list nobody?  Did I change professions and claw my way up the ladder while I wasn’t paying attention?  Where’s my review?

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Revised Blogger Entries

Pacione’s been busy updating his Blogspot, not with new entries, but by adding paragraphs to older entries.  Both his most recent two entries were updated today.

I will go on record that isn’t my grandmother writing that message. That is one of my cousins. They’ve done nothing to you so leave them the hell alone.

This makes no sense.  If his cousin’s hopping on his computer using his account to pretend to be Shirley ranting about phony phone calls, why does the rant remain unedited?  Why pretend to be his cousin?  He blames an awful lot of his crap on his cousin Mike.  If he knows Mike is prone to do that sort of thing, then he should simply log out of his accounts when he leaves the computer unattended, if Mike’s visiting.

They got highs in new lows when I did my annoucement on Nextcat about a Lake Fossil Press Babe, some asshole posted a fake site which had some fucking shemale humping a headstone.

[. . .]

. . . I got some asshole calling me from another area code from out of state because some prick posted my phone number on myspace.

The only place I’ve seen his phone number posted was on his guestbook in a message he took private and hid.   Evidently, that guestbook software doesn’t allow him to delete entries.  Allegedly, he admitted to someone that he was having a friend call and hang up on grammy.

This is the first mention of Lake Fossil Press Babe on his Blogspot.  He made the original announcement on Nextcat back on Aug. 1.  Now I’ve got to go hunt down that shemale and the headstone picture; it promises to be hilarious.

Lake Fossil Press Babe

It’s been nearly two months since Mr. Pacione announced he was recruiting a model to promote Lake Fossil Press part time. I wonder whether he’s gotten any applications.

The basic requirements (scroll about halfway down the page in the above link) are bizarre. He wants a fat or skinny chick who looks good in jeans and hightops, like a cross between a goth and a metalhead, and can look scary. I understand the scary part; if the other criteria were satisfied, scary would be the automatic result. The desired dress code is completely un-goth, further proving that Pacione is, at best, a hanger-on, and not part of the goth scene at all.

This is my favorite line:

Just be able to look scary too — because . . . I am on a fixed income.

Unless he meant “scared,” one doesn’t follow from the other.

I would venture a guess that not one “model” has sent an application. We would have heard more about it if Pacione had received inquiries.

It seems to be a harebrained scheme he picked up from the local scene. Never one to have an original idea, Pacione decided he must have a goth chick of his own to promote his press.

The Horror publishers in the area recruit goth chicks with the titles they publish.

I’d be very curious to know the status.

Calling All Goths

He’s back at it, at his LJ Goth forum:

There will be two versions of the book going around eventually — this is the 7.44 x 9.68 size Paperback Size, and the other will be a Crown Royale size trade paperback. If you’re from a Gothic magazine interested in a review copy of the anthology in either size out there contact me via Only serious inquiries only

He can’t pay contributors from TPIII and TPIV with an emailed .pdf, but he can send out review copies?