Nicky the Martyr

Again, I have ExposeTheTard to thank for this gem of a profile for Mr. Pacione, dating back eight years, to when he was 24, and hot to trot, ladies. Only Pacione would use his profile to post a rant.

The Basics
Member Name: urbanizedsin
Name: Nickolaus Albert Pacione
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Marital Status: Single and Looking
Occupation: webmaster, writer
Location: Morris, IL

[. . .]

Those that are from Hampton, Iowa, and openly are judgemental can go suck on a monkey’s genitialia. The staff at the Mason City Public Library can go to hell for banning my ass — you tried to kill my site by banning me, I was beat down in the name of the First. I am a martyr of free speech and press.

Martyr, my ass. He’s gotten so many of his accounts shut down because he has threatened many people and repeatedly violated TOS. I heard about the library incident years ago, but until now was unable to place a time frame to it. It had to have been 1999 or earlier.

I am gothic in my own right since I write of things that are dark, but at the same it could and has happened in reality. I write about people’s phobias.

No. He writes about his own phobias: arachnaphobia, claustrophobia, and apiphobia, to name a few. He also writes about his own mental illnesses. At various times, he’s described himself as “manic depressant,” bipolar, and megalomaniac. Paranoia and delusions come with the territory, so to speak, and he displays them in abundance, both in his blog entries and in his short stories.

He likes to write, but is not a professional writer. He has no professional credits. I like to play hockey, but that doesn’t make me Wayne Gretzky. I haven’t won a Stanley Cup. Winning a few pick-up games on the local pond doesn’t exactly count, any more than his “success” getting to print his dreck.

12 thoughts on “Nicky the Martyr

  1. So, anyone out there wanna volunteer to lock Nicky in a closet and dump a few large tubs of spiders and bees on him??

  2. I think even a six month stint in the general population of a state prison would also cause him great fear, too.

    Six months would, I think, be the longest Nicky could survive in something like jail, as he would probably either kill himself, or get himself killed by a lifer with nothing to lose.

  3. Janrae, sweetie, who would want to get that close under such circumstances even for a good cause?

    If I’m gonna smear honey on naked guys, let me tell you, ants or no ants he’d still be LAST on the list.

  4. How’s this…

    Do a little leg work in the GLBT community, and find a group of people from that community that know Aikido. I’m talking the equivalent of brown belt (from my karate days) and higher.

    Put Twerpy (shoeless, of course) in a room with about five or six of them. Make sure the matting on the floor is fresh and make of that light canvasy stuff. Now, the Twerp can’t leave until he gets one (he just needs one) to surrender/tap out or he makes full, sincere public apologies to everyone he’s wronged.

    And make sure he knows that he’s up against GLBTs.

    And then watch him flop around like a rag doll until he passes out from exhaustion (which would be in about 10 minutes).

    For extra fun, have him become the target of a Randori exercise every half-hour or so.


  5. Yeah, but who’d want to get close enough to restrain him for long enough to get him into that position? You’d have to offer some kind of financial inducement, and if you’re going to go down that road, just try this:

    Just pay a six-foot built-like-a-brick-shithouse transvestite to give him a big sloppy kiss. If everyone chips in a tenner I’m sure someone could be found.

  6. See, the idea is to let his own rage injure and humiliate himself. In the end, he suffers no permanent injury that he can (threaten to) sue over. And I’ll keep the hand sanitizer full at all times.

  7. I would suggest filling a keg with that hand sanitizer and working the pump until there’s enough pressure to shoot the stuff through a concrete wall. Aim it at Nicky, and it might at least take off the top few layers.

  8. Ya’ll ever notice the things Nicky never gives anyone any crap for? His personal hygiene, for example. We rag on him all the time about it. Any normal human being would react to that sort of humiliation with outrage, but it must not be important enough to him to acknowledge or even recognize how insulting it would be to most folks. Isn’t that sad?

  9. Shadowtron – yeah, but in 1999 “webmaster” wasn’t really considered an occupation. And in his case, “writer” never has been either and never will be.

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