$3 Guidelines

In the past, we’ve seen Nicky try to sell a used pair of his jeans “that shrunk,” and a rubber rat, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen him try to sell his guidelines.

Step right up, folks!  For a mere $3, you can download the guidelines for a TP that was due out last year.  If that’s not enough for you, he’ll throw in the GLs for TP7.

$3.00

Downloads immediately

The guidelines for every anthology planned by Lake Fossil Press — Tabloid Purposes 6 and 7 GLS are book one and two. Then the AuthorsDen anthology is planned — this one is long been planned but didn’t have the GLs for it.

What’s that, you ask?  GLs for every upcoming anthology, except for Avarice?  Besides, the GLs for TP6:66 were put out for free a long time ago.  Unless I’m mixing up TP and EG, I thought he recently said he was canceling TP6.

Product Details

Publisher Lake Fossil Press and Broken Mindframe Books.
Copyright ©2010 Nickolaus A. Pacione (Standard Copyright License)
Language English
Country United States
Publication Date January 12, 2010

As if that wasn’t funny enough, he misspelled the name of one of his imprints on page one of the preview — Broken Mindfframe.  Way to show off your editing skills, Peaches!

BTW, whatever happened to Angry Guinea Press?

17 thoughts on “$3 Guidelines

  1. Nicky’s also reviewed some album by a band called Grave Robber on Amazon:

    This is the one of the tightest punk bands I heard in a long time, and the throat has an impressive range.

    [. . .]

    If you’re a fan of horror punk or metal this is a must have especially since they played with members of The Misfits. They’re coming back to Chicago and playing Reggie’s Rock Room in March. I got a kick out of their reference to God in there calling him an H.P. Lovecraft title. That’s something that got me laughing really hard because it takes a sick mind to enjoy that reference.

    I swear, Nicky picks his bands based on their names. It sounds like he doesn’t even own the album, but managed to see them play live. Not that that would stop him from reviewing the album, or anything.

    Nicky, if you’re reading this, I’d be curious to know what you think of Nightmares of the Daylight.

  2. “BTW, whatever happened to Angry Guinea Press?”

    Honestly? I think after autoaim got him to admit that he’s not even half-blooded Italian, he realized it was pathetic to continue to go around doing the whole Italian-American thing and quietly let it die.

    Didn’t he issue a challenge to someone over that? I can’t remember who (Mike Brendan?) but he issued someone a challenge…either it was to see who could put out a book and sell the most copies, or it was a physical fight, but the prize was his “publishing company”.

    He must have realized right after he said it that he didn’t stand a chance of winning any kind of a fight ever, and clarified that it wouldn’t be for Lake Fossil Press, but one of his other “publishing companies”. Since he only had two, I’m assuming it was Angry Guinea Press.

    And again, I think he abandoned that idea once the cat was out of the bag about his actual heritage.

  3. Al, “shine on you crazy diamond” is from Pink Floyd, but I give kudos to Autoaim for its use in the perfect context.

    As far as Angry Guinea Press goes, I think you’re right about him abandoning it after his “full-blooded Italian” jig was up. I also remember something about another one of his worthless challenges in which he’d claim a publishing outfit he thought was making money in exchange for his “other” publishing venture, which probably was Angry Guinea, rather than Broken Mindframe.

    Really, he should take a tip from Dagstine, and name it after a “farm animal” — Chupacabra, or something. A name like goat sucker would appeal to him, I daresay.

  4. No he never challenged me to a “book-off” although I’m pretty sure I could beat him with one brain lobe tied behind my back. But he has threated violence on me in the past which is equally laughable.

  5. No I know where “Crazy Diamond” came from, I was referencing how autoaim used to use it often to refer to Nicky.

    btw did anyone catch this:

    ” Lake Fossil Press Complete Submission Scedule ”

    Scedule.

    $3.

    Scedule.

    $3 FOR a Scedule.

    After Nickolaus Ablert Pacione’s lengthy hitatus, he’s charging $3 for Sceduel.

  6. Autoaim always did know how to push Nicky’s buttons. You just know Nicky must hate Pink Floyd (not loud and obnoxious enough sounding).

    There’s also “Complete sumbission calls for all the anthologies.” near the bottom of page one in the preview (emphasis mine, typos his). That’s almost as good as “Ablert.”

    Sumbit to Ablert “the Sewer” Grate; he’s back on sceduel. — Rusty the Nail

  7. I think the Angry Guinea bet was aimed at Skullvines about a year and a half ago. He was pissed at the release of Tabloid Terrors 2 because he owns all things tabloid.

    Tabloid Terrors 3 releases next week, btw.

  8. I don’t feel the need to pay $3 to read his “submishun” guidelines but I’m curious if he finally gave up the Ethereal Gazette.

    Not that I blame him after the video where one was burned then extinguished with urine (and lots of it lol) that was probably pretty demoralizing.

  9. Oddly he seems to have allowed us to preview it up to page 8. Now, not that I paid too much attention, but didn’t the whole thing only have 12 pages?

    Sounds a bargain to me 🙂

    Epic fail anyone?!

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