13 thoughts on ““The Real Ethereal Gazette” Etherized

  1. I love the way Nicky uses “respective” wherever he presumably meant “respected” or “respectable”.

  2. I encourage people to impersonate my grandmothers (with saddly, I do not have a wife, just a husband who doesn’t like being impersonated).

    You can impersonate either my grandmother L., who would be as played by Bea Arthur, or my grandmother S., who would be as played by an older Dianne Wiest.

    Go to town. Have fun. Mary L. or E. Louise S.

  3. Feel free to impersonate my grandmother, Dagmar. The last couple of years of her life, in her late 70’s, she fell off her bike while going to the village store, bumped her head on the road and spent her remaining years as a cuckoo clock with the birds replaced by clowns on LSD.

    She called my mother up early one morning and complained that my father was such a difficult man to handle. Apparently he had come around her farm in the middle of the night, dragged her out to the barn and locked her in there overnight… and why had we redecorated the barn, she asked. Why had we draped the entire interior with red velvet and filled it with old bicycles and white marble statues?

    Yupp, batshit insane. ;D

  4. Speaking of “The Real Ethereal Gazette”. I’m having fun at lulu right now. I never even bothered to check prices before but I’m looking into it now.

    Can anyone tell me what the actual difference in quality is between “publisher grade” and “standard” paper? The lulu help isn’t much help at all. Is it a matter of quality or is it just to do with import/export regulations?

    I never knew it was so cheap to print up your own shit on lulu. No wonder even a destitute parasite like Nicky can manage it every once in a blue moon.

    I did a couple of price comparisons:

    Publisher, Perfect, Digest, 85 pages, 100 copies: 210 € / 328 USD
    Publisher, Perfect, US Letter, 85 pages, 100 copies: 258 € / 403 USD
    Standard, Perfect, US Trade, 85 pages, 100 copies: 264 € / 496 USD
    Standard, Perfect, US Letter, 85 pages, 100 copies: 318 € / 610 USD
    Standard, Saddle, US Trade, 85 pages, 100 copies: 391 € / 395 USD
    Standard, Saddle, US Letter, 85 pages, 100 copies: 366 € / 543 USD

    That’s interesting. How come there’s such a difference between the sizes? Standard Saddle Trade costs ca 400 while Standard Saddle Letter costs ca 550? I also noted the difference between other paper sizes. So paper size is a major factor in this then? Anything else I need to be aware of?

    Oh wow. I can get a 100 page book on Standard paper, Perfect bound, in Comic book format printed out in 25 copies for 93 € / 125 USD. That’s all it costs? Really? So, then I can keep five copies for myself and give away twenty of them. Everyone gets their own personal signed copy, from Rusty to Shocklines-Matt. This includes Nikita too of course.

    Copies of what, you ask? Well the ANTHOLOGY that THE ETHEREAL GAZETTE is now going to PUBLISH once we get enough material for a 100 page book. I think it’s going to be called… wait for it…. wait for it…. “NickoLOL – The Anthology”


    NickoLOL – The Anthology

    Coming in 2010 from The Ethereal Gazette.

    Please stand by for your own personal signed copy.

    Hell, I’ll even draw a picture of a diner in it for you!

    Hugs and kisses,

  5. This is what I had waiting for me this morning:

    From: NickolausPacione
    Sent:March 12, 2010, 6:34 am

    That’s right I am making funeral arrangements for it you e-pirating asshole. When people find out you pirated An Eye In Shadows — they won’t ever run you. As for me — I got published in Withersin for a true ghost story on their first issue. If anyone is the joke in the business is you — you faceless sack of fuck. Pick on someone else who doesn’t fight back.

    ::middle finger::

    I met Brian Keene in Asbury Park about 6 or so months ago. I told him I was going to introduce myself as Nick Pacione. We laughed, shook hands, and moved on. That was the first time in at least a year that I so much as mentioned NP’s name (at least that I can recall). Honestly, this is the most manic behavior from NP yet. He must be going down the Shocklines roster PMing anyone who had any sort of conflict with him in the past. Typically I would have sharpened my sword and gone to war…but the above message actually leaves me a little sad. To think about an existence where there is no future, just dellusion and boiling rage certainly fills me with a sense of appreciation for things I have in my life.

  6. To all of the above questions: YES, OF COURSE! ;D

    I’ll put things up on Ethereal Gazette as updates, one at a time, and when there’s enough Great Works of Art there to make a nice book then it’s time to hit the lulu printing presses.

    If you have your own cover art. That’s great. If you don’t, I’m sure that something will be provided as cover art for your titles, either by a certain friend who I am assuming wouldn’t mind lending a hand in a couple of more creative efforts or by myself.

    Might want to include information about what pen name to credit the text to also, unless you wish it to appear under your own.

    You’re all writers, you all know the score. You know where the lines are. So feel free to send me anything you think’ll be ok. Let’s have some fun. I only wish there could be a camera crew present when Nicky gets his copy of NickoLOL to capture that perfect moment in time when Longcat and Tacgnol finally meet and Catnarok is upon us.

  7. I’m going to have to hurry to finish Love is a Goat I see. I actually considered naming the piece A Goat Named Desire but I really wanted the billy goat to be called Jacques.

  8. Oh, there’s no hurry, Lewis.

    This isn’t something that’s going to the printers next week or something. It’ll be a couple of months before we”ve got everything collected, I guess. For starters I’m away on business most of April too so we’re looking at sometime in early May for NickoLOL to actually get printed up. I’ve been hopping between office computer and netbook-in-hotel-room for 2.5 weeks already.

    But I’ll put every item up on EG and let them have their moment in the sun as new updates. Then we’ll slap them together into an anthology, throw our hands in the air, and wave them like we just don’t care.

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