Nicky Wants Your Email Address

This is classic.  Nicky posted a link to “Inquisition Revisited,” which I already covered.  He solicits comments, but only in email — not on the thread at SL that he started about it.

INQUISTION REVISITED – this is a really dark transgressive yarn for me.  It brought out some of my inner demons to write this one because I was demonized by the church in Mason Shithole, Iowa, because I wear black clothing and held the custody of my son like a carrot dangling over a horses head.  I make fun of two religious leaders in this short story.  All feedback for the story, please respond by e-mail — flames of me will go on the wall of shame on my blogspot.com blog.  I have one article done that weighs in at 9,000 words that I am planning to throw up somewhere — but trying to find a host that will not censor anything in this one.

It looks like he’s trolling for two things:  email addresses so he can send people private nastygrams, and material to use for his blog to try to prove how meeeeeean people are being to him, to justify himself to his family members.

“Send me an email telling me what you think of my story, so I can feature you on my blog and bombard you with abusive email.”  Who could possibly resist such a come-on?  I predict this will sit neglected for a day or two before someone finally replies.

53 thoughts on “Nicky Wants Your Email Address

  1. Aside from the Shocklines threads we haven’t really seen any public Nicky crap for a lot of this week. It’s mostly been PM’s and e-mails with happy subject lines such as “piss off you fat queer” in reply to my query about whether or not as a horror target I was entitled to a contributors copy due to providing inspiration.

  2. It’s never anything but entertaining when the bone-dead stupid make pitifully transparent attempts to outwit the smart.

  3. NIckolaus “fat horse blank pages closet gay” Pacione emailing a writer “piss off you fat queer” is the kind of irony that makes me believe in a higher power, because there’s got to be a a greater power at work to enable something like that to happen.

  4. I’m making a Nicky Bingo template. Help me out with the squares. So far I’ve got the following:

    Horror target
    Diner
    Anthologies
    Expose you
    Investigative journalist
    Controversial writer
    Jagoff
    Chicago
    Death Threat
    Threat of Violence
    Elder abuse
    Copyright violation
    Underground scene

    What more squares to we need to play Nicky Bingo online?

  5. I’m a hard man
    Don’t mess with Italians
    Faggot
    Piss, double points if it’s piss bloggers
    I’m friends with rock bands
    Richard Matheson
    Been published in Withersin magazine (it’s getting to the point where I might start submitting crap to them just to see if they’ll accept it so I can go “ooh me too”)

  6. Well, you’ve quite clearly overlooked both his oft used F-words (the one alternately used to refer to a stick of wood, and the usual 4 letter F-bomb).

    “Creative” variations on same, e.g., “fatherfucker” and “chickenfuck”, ought to feature in there somewhere as well.

  7. HEAVY METAL!

    Also Jeebus save us, we’ve got another 9k word whine to look forward to… I’m going to need to stock up on the booze I can see.

  8. “I didn’t just him. I actually jumped into the knee strile — the person when I gave him a strong effort. I couldn’t rember how fast that move was but went done it will br done with s fewjard abes for about 2 houres a dady at night.” –Pacione

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I do believe we have found the blurb for the back cover of NickoLOL – The Anthology. With this as blurb, what other recommendation could we possibly need for the book? It is… perfection!

  9. Heh whenever someone references “fatherf**er” it shows how far back they go with him. That used to be his favorite insult. I don’t see him using that so much anymore.

    I like auto’s bingo idea since he is predictable. You should randomize them once you’re done so people don’t have the same ones.

  10. Oh damn… randomization! Crap!

    I think I might have had too much contact with Nicky now. His severe case of “the dumbs” is apparently contagious to some degree. I didn’t even think about that. Everyone will get BINGO at the same time, lol

    Oh well, here’s the .doc file anywyay.
    http://autoaim.org/nickybingo.doc

    Is there any good bingo resource out there that’ll spit out bingo cards according to user input?

  11. I’m looking forward to this bingo.

    And Autoaim, you’re another person who makes me wish I were 30 years younger just so I could chase you around. Your “Nordic ass” is awesomely handsome.

    OT, I named a character Ilmarinen. You wouldn’t happen to know where I stole it from?

  12. corpse raper
    copyright rape
    band promoter
    vlog
    take that down
    censorship
    waahmbulance
    e-police
    e-lawyers
    photojournalist
    library kicked me out
    anal induced disease
    now or days
    literary (aka literally)

  13. You could do a variation on a Chinese menu: choose one from column A, and one from column B. Another option would be to create a Mad-Libs type of game.

  14. Fletcher Pratt and L. Sprague de Camp set one of their great Harold Shea stories, ‘Wall of Serpents’, in the world of the Kalevala.

  15. Sampo? As in The Day the Earth Froze of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame?

    Great! It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen it, and I’m hoping that it eventually makes it to DVD (the MST3K episode, not just the movie itself) pretty soon.

  16. Have to add:

    Going to shit on your grave
    Shit on your career
    Stop shitting on my career
    Going to shit on your name

    and other shitting on terms. He wuvs those.

  17. Did anyone try to read that drivel he puked up onto the internet and baptized “a story”?

    I think it may be time for another 50 Foot Ant critique.

  18. And also:

    transgressive
    yellow journalist
    mutant (an oldie but a goodie)
    I am about to have a hot girlfriend with a bit of money (good luck fitting that on the bingo card though!)

  19. Another 50 Foot Ant critique? Sweet, I always loved your reviews Ant, you and Tomo just have the knack for extracting just the right segments to both get your point across and help make the audience laugh their asses off.

  20. The first thing that greeted me after I signed into my Deviantart account to take a look at Nicky’s story was a 17 year old girl showing off her breasts… I can’t help but feel there’s a metaphor about how the internet has affected art in there somewhere.

    Anyway I had to stop reading Nicky’s story after I burst into laughter at “Down with the outsider and his thought patterns,” all I can see is Father Ted and Dougal chained to the posts outside the cinema when they were protesting the Passion of St Tibulus

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT9xuXQjxMM

  21. I’m sorry to be so late with this one, but it’s a recent Nickism that makes me chuckle:
    cuckhold

    That’s just too funny. Now if he’ll only start saying “bee’s knees” instead of “good,” we’d be set.

  22. I’m sure he meant this definition: A man that chooses/requests that a woman abuse him in any variety of ways. May or may not include: physical, financial, sexual, or emotional. Rarely includes actual sex, which is the key separation between a woman who has a cuckhold and your typical dominant-prostitute. (Especially the “rarely includes actual sex” part.)

  23. What a pathetic hysterical girls-blouse!

    Nicky gets an honest review from a youth pastor, “empty pages would be preferable to your writing”, which he interprets as a death threat and promise to burn all his Stephen King books. Later he’s assaulted, which doesn’t seem to happen as often as it should. Then he makes a nuisance of himself at several local churches and has a few, cheese sandwich before bed-fueled, nightmares. He loses his son (the system works!) and is committed (the system works!)

    Apparently, this is exactly the same as the Salem witch trials multiplied by Nazi Germany multiplied by “Fahrenheit 441 [sic].” Nobody else in human history has suffered as much as poor Nicky, you should all be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves!

  24. hostel
    train/Metra/CTA/El
    wall of shame
    controversial
    mentioning he left a sample of his “work” somewhere (bookstore, library,church)
    throwing a hissy fit over being banned (forum, blog, human race)
    Gothicfest
    Convergence/C10, especially if it is the story about being taken away in an ambulance
    requests for submissions in obscure file formats
    piracy
    people trying to destroy his “career”
    bullied in high school
    bullied for having a mental illness/disability
    bullied for being goth
    posting a photo with one of the following: wearing a hoodie, him wrapped up in blankets or sleeping bag, him in a diner, him in a cemetery, him in a tree
    book burning
    book pissing
    working on a novella
    attempting to brag about word count
    libel
    slander
    no erotica
    hard drive failure

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