I Like Hats, Or Tard Tips for the Clueless

Hat tip:  M

And what a hat tip it is.  Let’s see how long this one lasts.  Nicky started a thread on VF about a small press clinic.  It’s in the Writer’s Corner area, where he was told yesterday to stick to promotion.  The title sounds like it’s promoting a class people can take, online or whatever, but it turns out to be about what software and printer he uses for his dreck.

First reply:  “I like hats.”  Bwahahaha.

Personally, I want to know where he “found Lake Fossil Press.”  Under a rock?  Behind a tree?

69 thoughts on “I Like Hats, Or Tard Tips for the Clueless

  1. Well, it started out talking about his printer and such, but he couldn’t resist slipping in something about the takeover of his ‘business.’ Could have sworn the last time he posted about this on VF, they replied with a resounding “We don’t care.”

  2. He’s already started spewing on the first person who replied, WithTeeth.

    http://vampirefreaks.com/WithTeeth

    Jun 19, 2010, 11:11pm
    Have a negative three, you worthless bitch

    LAKEFOSSIL
    [Reply]
    Jun 17, 2010, 04:03am
    Get a fucking life and drop me from your friends list — I already blocked you from contacting me. If you keep with this harassment, I will report you to the admins for stalking and creating drama.

  3. Handily enough you don’t even need an account to read the messageboards.

    Omegacryptorchild
    “Have you published much about hats?”

  4. That post has about five words that are actually about running a small press – and even that is stupid, such as using Open Office or free photo manipulation software instead of more powerful programs that are designed for publishing. The rest is just Nicky self-shilling and whinging.

  5. With Teeth: “Brian Knight once put a hat on my middle finger picture.”

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! (Nicky newbies might not get that reference).

    • I’m looking for that pic, I am positive I have it. I have to sift through the many many other Nicky pics that have been collected over the years, but I’ll find it I’m sure.

      And great talking to you again too Brian! We used to partake in many lulz back in the day 😀

  6. mods of those forums are quite unhappy with Nicky’s inability to post in the correct locations

    “QUIT POSTING NON-POETRY/PROSE.

    THIS FORUM IS FOR POETRY, SHORT STORIES, PROSE. NOT ADVICE, SELF-PROMOTION, ETC.

    IF YOU GO AGAINST THE FORUMS RULES AGAIN YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM THIS FORUM. ”

    btw a workshop? Really Nicky? I saw some emails from a female troll from about two or three months ago, and she emailed him to ask him about something he said on SL and accidentally called him a writer.

    I can’t remember exactly, but I think Nicky thanked her about three times for calling him a writer. Something like “Hey you called me a writer I appreciate that. Thanks again for calling me a writer” along those lines. Later that day he was bragging somewhere that he was being recognized as…you guessed it…a writer.

    • Hopefully, that does apply to Nicky as well as the detractors in that thread. I don’t understand why she doesn’t delete it entirely, it doesn’t fit the rules of that forum.

  7. http://vampirefreaks.com/forum/comment.php?entry=548482

    With Teeth wrote a poem, as per the Mod’s request:

    In the night, swimming like a ghost shark
    I am one who is darker than dark.
    In Iowa, I saw a tornado with a ghost
    The old woman upstairs is my reluctant host.

    In the papers which are written
    By that which is bitten.
    The papers of Africanized killer bees
    Can bring the hostel to its knees.

    Or maybe a house spider
    Or a bareback rider.
    I think I like that last one best
    In the hostel where I go to rest.

    • With Teeth added a secon poem (same thread):

      Wasn’t sure if we were allowed to start a new thread for each work of prose/poem, and don’t want to step on any toes, as it’s obvious the moderation team here work very hard, so I’ll just add a second poem to this thread (and thanks for the response and feedback to the first).

      This is called “The Football”

      I would be the football.
      I would be the basketball.
      I would be the forsaken landscape.
      I would be the ghost in the tornado.
      I would be the Ferryman’s wheelchair.
      I would be the one riding the storm.
      I would be the house of spiders and the spiders of house.
      I would be the one like something from a Rod Serling episode of the Twilight Zone.

    • So Vermin hinted that he banned ptaylor. I didn’t bother to look for sure.

      Why do so many of the admins over there look really skeezy?

    • Meant to put the reply to Rusty HERE:

      Vermin probably banned PTaylor from the message board — which is what he did to me after I called him out for being childish for tagging my board profile with that Nikki graphic. Whether it’s temporary or permanent I’ve no idea, as I admittedly crossed the line and was equally puerile when I was trolling Nikki on that one thread (not the writer’s resource thread).

    • Bwahahaha! I was going to post that here but ran out of time before I had to go down to town and get my robe for tomorrow. I think it’s quite apt =)

    • Vermin probably banned PTaylor from the message board — which is what he did to me after I called him out for being childish for tagging my board profile with that Nikki graphic. Whether it’s temporary or permanent I’ve no idea, as I admittedly crossed the line and was equally puerile when I was trolling Nikki on that one thread (not the writer’s resource thread).

    • http://vampirefreaks.com/forum/comment.php?entry=548523

      Nicky once again brags about making text into an image. He accuses people of using blogspot and wordpress for their websites becaue they are lazy, yet he actually turns text into images and posts them on his homepage and doesn’t think that is lazy in any way.

      Ugh I don’t know if it’s still the case, but his first ten books were full of images that should have just been text. I don’t think he knows anything about dpi so it always made for painful reading.

    • Nicky: Clearless she was making fun of Levianthan’s Ghost with this one so no props for this one.

      WT: I have no idea what “Leviathan’s Ghost” is. Are they a band or something?

      Nicky: Leviathan’s Ghost is one of my novellas, my first of the longer length stories and it was a bonus story in Tabloid Purposes One

      WT: Okay, well how would I know that? I’ve never read a book by “Lake Fossil”. While critique and commentary are fine, I don’t appreciate your silly accusations. Also, please quit leaving threatening and harassing comments on my profile, which are clearly a violation of this forum’s TOS.

      Nicky: This poem is a complete mockery of me and my works — the ghost in the tornado? That’s referring to the short story Ghosts In the Tornado. The house spider thing is a referrence to House of Spiders, I am not flaming but I am catching all the referrences and it’s a mockery of my entire catalog.

      WT: Again, WHO ARE YOU? I just searched online and I can find no record of an author named Lake Fossil. Is it a pseudonym or something? Wouldn’t I have to be familiar with your work in order to make a “mockery” of it? The only Lake Fossil I found was a publishing company called Lake Fossil Press, who apparently specialize in male erotica. Is that you? And if so, can you please clarify how my poetry has anything to do with male erotica?

  8. Nicky just added a post to the Writers Resources thread at VF listing WriterFace.com as a resource. Guess he hasn’t been to WriterFace since I made a couple of new posts there last night.

    • He was there about half an hour ago leaving this comment on an administrator’s profile.

      ” Hey Man I think that you have a trouble maker on the horror writers group. She came on here to clearly start a fight.”

    • I’m never surprised to see him on am admin’s profile whining, nor am I surprised when he makes a point to kiss their ass (like Jet, man Nicky has Jet’s butt hairs stuck in his teeth) in his free time.

      I get the impression that Nicky has spent most of his life tattling on people. I think that’s why he was hated so much in school. He even mentions that when he got his “neck stabbing” they were upset he ratted them out. After seeing him do that dozens of times I’m not surprised.

  9. Nicky: This isn’t the actual story on the post, so kindly get the hell out of my thread. HorrorMasters.com in 2003-2005 were a paying publisher for short stories, they paid the author when stories rounded up to $10.00 for downloads. They changed it to a one story which was the free read.

    WT: So… the actual story you posted above isn’t the actual story?

    • In a section of the forum in which an admin already stressed that it’s to be used only for actual writing samples, no less. Let’s see if they bother to enforce their own rules. I’m not holding my breath.

    • Nicky: LAKE FOSSIL PRESS isn’t an erotica publisher. Now I know you came here to cause trouble. My banner tells people exactly who I am and Lake Fossil Press is a horror/modern day science fiction publisher in the vein of The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits. INSECT has the africanized bees and Leviathan’s Ghost is the phantom shark story. Lake Fossil the screen name is taken from my first Science Fiction story.

      WT: I don’t know what the policy is here for posting links, so I’ll refrain, but a simple Google search does indeed confirm that Lake Fossil Press is a publisher of male erotica. I think, if I’m reading you correctly (which I’m not sure of because I sense that English is your second language) that you write under the name of Lake Fossil, and people are confusing you with this Lake Fossil Press. Is this correct? And if so, how is it my fault? Perhaps you should write under your real name instead.

    • At first glance, his banner looks like “Nickolaus Lambert.” On second glance, you can make out “Nickolaus Albert.” The rest is sludge.

    • “Well, then what are you so upset about? You should try wearing a hat. That always cheers me up when I’m down.”

      Ever seen the live action Popeye movie they made in the 80’s? The scene where Bluto gets so mad he literally sees red?

      When the word “hat” is mentioned over there I picture Nicky doing that.

  10. Nicky is pwned a mod:

    Tore
    June 21, 2010, 04:36:pm

    LAKEFOSSIL; ENOUGH.

    Board staff have become utterly fed up with this publishing drama and harrassment of several members. Whatever problems are going on does not excuse the shitstorm that’s now going on in this forum and the nature of comments left on members’ profiles. It’s already caught the attention of both board AND site admins, so consider this your final warning before your removal from this forum.

    • At first I thought that was a mod yelling at everyone so I skimmed over it, then I actually read it and saw Nicky got read. I’m sure there are some intense emails being sent right now along the lines of “But…but…the trolls…my company never was sold…”

      Oh and the two anti-gay poems someone just posted? That was back when he’d writer “…” as “,,,” for some reason. Years ago I saw some site he was on where someone commented on a poem of his (that had a million commas) and asked why he did that.

      I can’t remember his exact response, but it was something along the lines of “It’s called transgressive writing mother fucker!” or something to that effect. I lol’d.

    • in response to his gay murder fantasies (dumbshit’s ego overrides his common sense and he complains about copyrights and admits to creating those)

      “You are in violation of copyright for posting those, and yes I mind. I gave you no such permission to be posting the poems, I have the problem with people posting my entire stories on forums. So with that cease from doing it.”

      then on spunkybackpack’s profile

      “Who the fuck gave you permission to post my other stuff on the forum? That material is copyrighted.”

  11. From that thread:

    LAKEFOSSIL; ENOUGH.

    Board staff have become utterly fed up with this publishing drama and harrassment of several members. Whatever problems are going on does not excuse the shitstorm that’s now going on in this forum and the nature of comments left on members’ profiles. It’s already caught the attention of both board AND site admins, so consider this your final warning before your removal from this forum.

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