Nicky’s Petition

Hat Tip:  Stinky Cat

Our favorite mental midget thinks he deserves to have his Lulu account reinstated.  To that end, he visited a website called Ipetitions to make his case.  Among the points he makes is that Lulu published someone’s book about a boy who wears a pink shirt and carries a doll.  Why, if Lulu will publish such sacrilegious content as that, will it not publish his libelous invasions of privacy against rival authors?  That explanation is beyond his comprehension, so it must be because he criticized Obama.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  Not, not really, but it just might place him on the Feds’ radar.

ETA:  Evidently, I forgot to add the link to the petition.  In the meantime, Lulu either sent Nicky whatever files it had of his, or allowed him to download them.  Despite this, he’s still trashing the company on Twitter and his FB.

On a related note, it’s amusing to watch him alternately flounder around with trying to use Createspace, and brag about being an “elder statesman” on the CS forum board.  Check out the profile and activity for illinoishorrorman on Createspace’s forum, if you want a laugh.

Petition full reinstatement 2014-07-07

Note that there are zero signatures.

33 thoughts on “Nicky’s Petition

  1. Oh no a story about a boy wearing a non boyish color and carrying a doll! How dare Lulu publish such filth! hahahahahahaha

  2. He really needs decades of therapy to handle his break-up. He ought to just send Lulu a Spotify list of sappy love songs to remember him by and move on already. Yeesh…

  3. I got a new lovenote yesterday in my inbox

    Lyth I have namesake available on as some of my other catalog is moving there too — so every book someone buys of yours; that’s contributes to your child porn collection as you buy your child porn from the director of Jeeper’s Creepers.

    So I replied … It may annoy him. Shame.


    you’re starting to bore me with your whiny little “pity me I’m a retard who can’t back up his files” rants.

    And your complete lack of any grasp of English gammar is past a joke now. It’s not funny any more. It’s just tedious.

    Buy Strunk and White or any other basic grammar books. Learn to string a sentence together coherently. Learn not to run sentences into each other, where to use commas, where to use full stops, how to basically write good English. If you do that, people might start showing you some respect.

    For example, your most recent lovenote makes no sense.

    “Lyth I have namesake available on as some of my other catalog is moving there too — so every book someone buys of yours; that’s contributes to your child porn collection as you buy your child porn from the director of Jeeper’s Creepers.”

    According to this, specifically because of your use of the word SO in the middle of this massively run on sentence – because you’re moving the few pathetic remnants of your back catalogue that you still have to createspace, because you’re doing that, if people buy something I wrote, they’re funding my (imaginary – as it only exists in your imagination – (do you know what projecting is in a psychological sense? Ask your therapist while you enjoy your decades of therapy)) childporn collection.

    To repeat that, because you’re moving files to createsapce, that means people are funding a childporn collection. Is that really what you wanted to say?

    A more grammatical way to phrase your lovely little letter would have been this.

    Lyth, I have the namesake available on Some of my other catalog is moving there too.

    Every book someone buys of yours, that contributes to your child porn collection. (which I believe we’ve established if your projecting your own faults onto others) You buy your child porn from the director of Jeepers Creepers.

    I’ve highlighted the main grammatical changes in a nice pretty yellow colour for you. Note that I’ve split your one sentence into four distinct sentences and even into two distinct paragraphs. This makes it seem less like words vomited onto a screen randomly and more like a considered and thought out message. It also makes the central thought process behind the message much easier to comprehend.

    If you need any further instruction in how to write grammatically in your native tongue, please don’t hesitate to ask someone who actually gives a shit what you have to say. That doesn’t include me by the way.

    Good night Nicky, try not to rip your puny little pecker off while watching little Macauley Culkin wrapped in nought but a towel in Home Alone.



    No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

    • Fantastic reply. Of course, he will simply respond with “you libeled me with that one faggot, all of Chicago will hunt you down if you come here, you just dug your own literary grave with that one, I have four books in the Poe museum with that one.”

      • And don’t forget “I’m going to write you in my next book and if you don’t like it come on video and say how I’m a faggot and I’m gay because when the namesake first came out……” and on and on and on.

  4. He’s not replied yet. Probably taking his time, trying to think up a suitably pithy and intelligent retort. Something like “me not shtoopid yoo peedo. Yoo da wun hoo likes bois nott mee.” .

    Give him a week and he might come up with something of that quality. Then he’ll go back to fapping over Macauley Culkin again.

  5. I’m posting this with Scott Soares permission. He got this today, and after laughing a good 5 minutes sent it to me. Not that it matters, but for those who don’t know, Scott was a barista, and fan, at a Starbucks I used to go to. We’ve become friends and I asked him several months ago to give Nicky shit after he one starred my work. He then decided to keep doing it.

    You don’t want the controversy I am going to unleash on you and on Colbert — I am exposing the fact he bullied Booksurge authors and we’re going to toss all those authors off the site; they will listen to me as I’ve been with them during that era so your “friend” called a Conservative Black woman the n-word. I had never published a single ounce of the n-word but faggot I tell them have at it. I gave up custody of my son because my sanity was falling apart. I am not afraid of you or of Scott Colbert — too bad I can’t punch the little bitch because he would scream hate crime or knee you in the fucking face repeatedly. You’re too cowardly to handle someone hand-to-hand but pull out a gun to intimidate someone. I almost killed a guy with my bare hands or thought I had nearly killed him for kneeing him in the face. You want to lump me in with the Nationalist Socialist Party or The World Church of the Creator that’s going to get your ass kicked very fast you little cunt.
    I am going to help abolish the element that almost turned them into a ghetto and bring back some of the integrity that booksurge had before bought them out — you wonder why we had the distrust over this; they didn’t do us justice and I can criticize the younger authors who know nothing about their history and I offered a tool that will give an edge over Barbed Wire Kisses. If you mutter the n-word around me I will kick your ass because I was raised never to say that word — I would never hit a woman either and I got thrown off because I criticized the president because I immortalized the very cool painting of him burning the constitution — that took more balls to do than come out and say you’re a male that swallows a load of cum. So I am going to encourage people to do videos wiping their ass with the gay pride flag and best video gets namesake and Tabloid Purposes IV; I know how to almost do on what I can do with Colbert’s book looks like it never left the manuscript stage as I have the desktop publishing background as I learned how to do this back in high school in 1993 — I learned on an AB Dick printing press too so I do know my way around a printing press too.
    I know how to do typesetting and all of that — my tools I use and brought with me from allows me to do almost what I can do on Where your faggot ass racist motherfucker said my covers were stock — those came from my own camera in 2002-2008 on some of them. I found my 2002 era photos at a cool view of Chicago board of trade which is going to the version. The problem with liberals is they are too politically correct — I am your nightmare and I will say why I am an Ex-Liberal. I know every lie they tell. You hate the kind of Conservatives who are Ex-Libs — I am a reformed Conservative Republican with Tea Party and Progressive traits the progressive traits is my friendships with African-Americans and those who come from different cultural backgrounds. When you’re a publisher you also have to play diplomat too.

    Sent: Monday, July 07, 2014 at 3:13 PM

    • Now, you’ve done it. I have a mental image of Nicky singing Cabaret, but substituting the word exposé for cabaret. Brain bleach, STAT.

        • He does like to talk about himself in the third person, though, so he could be singing about one of his alter-egos.

      • I have mental images of him singing it to Masquerade from Phantom. *Exposé! Paper feces on parade! Exposé! Hide your face so the world it cannot find you…*

        Works right?

    • Highly amused by his claims that he’s so great at hand to hand combat that he nearly killed someone. This is a guy who RUNS like the cowardly shit he is every time he’s given a chance to fight. I saw it many times in mason city. He’s start shit with kids at the mall, then go crying to the security guard when they took him up on his offer to kick their ass.

      • The best part is where he claimed he nearly killed a guy with his bare hands … by kneeing him in the face. Huh? Doesn’t really matter, because it’s all bullshit, anyway.

        • I am also loving the fact he thinks he can learn martial arts from magazines and video games and not by taking classes. LOL LOL LOL

    • What amuses me is how long it’s taking him to figure out how to do stuff on createspace, including “typesetting.” Createspace is not a difficult thing, and last I checked, “typesetting” was no more difficult than choosing a font. Yet it’s taking him how long to sort it all out? That’s pretty lame.
      That must be why he needs such a skilled publisher as Tabetha Jones, who doesn’t even read the books she sends to print. Equally skilled at writing and publishing, those two deserve each other.

  6. Got this as a follow up.

    They know what’s going on I spoke with my boss on the phone and disclosed all my information about Scott Colbert explaining how he used to bully authors. He knew me from back from the Booksurge years. I haven’t made these comments on so I am not going to let you turn me into an unpublished author — I will turn Scott into one with all my information I disclosed over the phone about him, Keene and Sangiovanni. If I am willing to help the Christians work with and with other Conservatives to work with them too in the horror and science fiction genre — I am going to help them keep honest and people like Scott Colbert made something I had a lot of contempt for but now I am back full time and honored as a Booksurge era author.
    They said my insight will help others about both booksurge and — has corrupt practices where you can’t criticize the Government — well does have does that do that; and it’s a public company. I had never used the n-word; and I don’t like being lumped in with the Nationalist Socialist Party in Chicago (as he turned out to be a faggot pedophile,) and The World Church of The Creator. I am not going let some Liberal Extremist Cocksucker who wipes their ass with American Flag under the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal try to force me into being unpublished again — what happened about me being published the first time originally was right on my birthday in the short form. The era authors are going to look to us for our experience with booksurge and I asked how have they changed — that will answer my question when I pass my discounts to my hometowns of Glendale Heights and my boyhood home in Roselle along with my stomping grounds of Schamburg and Carol Stream. If they are willing to let me work with after the fact I have cussed them out and they have all my disclosure on e-mail — my new publisher also works with them too and believe me once this book is published Scott’s done as an author with both and with his job he has now if that is even a “job.” You work at a starbucks — what have you done that’s profound. They have means to get my most personal project in schools and we’re hitting my closing author’s hometown hard. People are assholes — men and women equally there; when a female pulled the decades of therapy comment on a bipolar person then called someone who is learning disabiled a “retard” when she had worked with the disabled according to one of her friends. That really doesn’t sit well with me — what I pulled punishing these jagoffs was I didn’t yell at them but yelling at their hometowns as they are hickvilles. I didn’t grow up in hickville all the places I grew up were established only within the 20th Century. And for them to be the size they are within that era — you almost have to think of the diabolical ideas that can have in itself.

    • His boss? Is that someone in client support at Createspace?

      Also, one would expect a guy who claims to know Schaumburg so well to be able to spell the name of the town by now.

      • Pfft as if a town established in the 20th century could match the mystique of a village which is one of the oldest continually inhabited spots in the UK. 5000 years of history in one little village, Nickerdoodles.

      • Regarding Createspace: he says:
        “my new publisher also works with them too ”

        My new scam publisher sends books to print on createspace without even reading them so she can hurry up and rip off their royalties.

        I don’t know which is sadder: Him thinking she’s actually a publisher or her thinking she’ll have him, his hate and his disjointed psychosis to hide behind when the shit hits the fan.

    • Scott…how can he turn you into an unpublished author? Is he going to make time and space move in order to ensure you were never published? I mean either you are a published author or you are not. Maybe we should be afraid of Nicky’s new time travelling friends!

  7. My guess is since Scott isn’t a writer, or has anything to do with publishing, Nicky thinks he can say anything and get away with it. What Peaches fails to understand is I’ve told him how places like lulu and CS work. Well that, and he knows anything he says is most likely a lie.

    • It’s still there. I can’t believe I forgot to link to it in my entry. Whoops. Anyway, I added the link above, in the ETA section. As of now, the discussion thread on Nicky’s petition is up to 25 comments.

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