Do you have any idea how hard it is to write an intentionally bad sentence? You have to abandon all the grammar, and sentence structure you were taught in grade school.
“I don’t really know what it was about her that attracted me besides her long blonde hair, or her fingernails, painted in lime green, and she had swagger, but it was more than that because she smelled like jasmine, mixed with sweat and foot odor.”
Nah. That won’t win it.