“I didn’t event shit.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am making this article plain as day in middle of the midnight hours” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Pacione could been the prototype for the knucklehead” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Well I am not the judge of this am I; or the one who died and made you boss,” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Though what I relate with everything I sit before everyone and relate staring at the screen right now with a laptop is true” — Nickolaus Pacione
“When one is reading this; the promises of him getting you discovered as the cartoons that seldom spoke when did, “Don’t you believe it!” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am the man in the suitcase as you look the glow of your reader as my thoughts haunt your mind at night; these truths of the vital nine as that could easy be yours that one had gone after.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Well if they are going to respond to Brian Keene and his bullshit someone needs to point out that Brian Keene is doing is bullshit.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am olive as when I saw a reflection of me in the mirror with my then fiancee she was more pale than me.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I can protect writers better than VampireFreaks.com as they are published it will be hard to plagiarize them and given name policy or sounds like a given name.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I can’t really go like an octopus when I grocery shopped but the Octopus is sometimes the Broken Mindframe Books because I was born on the eighth month.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I never killed myself …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I’ve had came here off and on since 2002; it was the hangout and entrained friends when I was in town.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Some of the writes some of us are in touch both others went their own ways. Some by industry politics and others for personal reasons. Since this has a new ISBN; let’s have some fun with it — and please note: All the contributors retain their original copyrights and not sure how many various author anthologies are listed but this I hope it contributors the Parthenon of anthologies that are out there.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I don’t stalk twelve year olds – the average age of writers I try to is at least 20 years old.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… acts like I have photos of his wife naked, if I did I would had photographed her.” — Nickolaus “Perv” Pacione
“Lake Fossil Press is my kid as this is now 11 years old now — so think about that one how many times have you sexually touched Lake Fossil Press..” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Don’t mistake a dialect or accent for shit writing; because when you catch a dialect that allows you to appreciate Midwestern literature.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… it’s always hard to find a wife because they are either already married or came out of the closet.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I didn’t flunk out of the classes I did pass — I had two grades below because I missed two classes.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Please have watched Dangerous Minds before you approach something on roster if you don’t know how a public school environment worked because An Eye In Shadows is that public school student who had that kind of teacher.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am very private person as Richard Matheson said he was when during the time he was alive.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am kind of like a janitor who picks up your crumbled notes or sketches as in I am looking at your real websites – looking for your blogs to see what I can learn about you.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“CreateSpace measured the level of force I write at.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“During that evening. I went up to Wisconsin where it was a little steamy with the plus sized model I did a shoot with in February of 2001.
I will put it like this — if someone was to do a video of this, it would been a damn pornographic movie. Meaning I was plugging and climaxing in every hole she had, and she had me in her mouth. It was like when we did the photo shoot in 2001, where I ended up being the other man.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Go ahead and throw a phelm filled lewgie at me!” — Nickolaus Pacione
“That $10.00 in my pocket will be my dinner and I will eat it right in front of you.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“So think about what I say with some of you who are telling me that I “can’t write” or grammatically inept.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“This would had put me at 15, 1992, and the strange notions when I looked at what was on the news — speaking of my boyhood home.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am connected to law enforcement and private invegitagors too.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I don’t belief in Ghosts.” — Nickolaus Pacione, Ghost Hunter
” I want to take it slow with a woman but I end up always in the recent years the fast women.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Give up as a writer is what I am telling you — if you don’t like the fact I am a publisher and anthologies.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Shut up and let people submit to my publications — don’t be a little cunt and destroy the thing that keeps my sanity …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“You’re the fucking basement dweller around here my late grandfather’s house is not a single story house and this was made into two rentals before they owned it. Two families lived in the place as the area was a vacation home for those who were from the city.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am from Central DuPage County — you want to take swipes at my mental health diagnosis again; do you want to be the one whose any drive to be a writer to be done because where you are – I am sure you’d do your novel with a crayon behind bars you little cunt.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“So you think some information shouldn’t be known. SSNs are something that should be toyed with.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… when I did free sparring with classmates who studied five forms of the martial arts I became an MMA in that sense to counter them where I merged Wrestling and Judo to counter them.” — Nickolaus Pacione
” I am book smart and streetwise too — you don’t make fun of someone who had gave chase to a mugger in Cabrini Green.” — Nickolaus Pacione
” I stared down gang members; rapists, and murderers as well as the paranormal.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I will inform the museum tomorrow what you did and they can have law enforcement waiting for you with any attempt to make a credit card with those “actors” and guess what I will publish your mug shuts.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“What is it worth to you to destroy someone like that who has very little to begin with does that make you feel like a real “man” you’re just a child with a shitty fucking temper.” — Nickolaus Pacione
” I sneaked up and applied a rear naked choke to get my Judo gi back from him on the last day for seniors.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“You want to play that game with me — it’s like playing Russian Roulette with all with one chamber with an empty bullet.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I check my sources with my fiction as I pass fact after fact off as fiction …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Being I was published for ten plus one years in print.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am dealing with a bunch of Socialists where they have no problem letting someone publish there who calles God an Athiest.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“They’re are authorizing plagiarism so those of you who team up with Lulu.com you need to think about that if you take on street gangs or the Klu Kux Klan.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“They want to see me in that light as a demon – do they really want to see me as a demon if they are not saying anything about plagiarism they are seeing it as Holocaust Denial.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“What is an industry without Pacione like – they want a pre-2002 era when I wasn’t making waves and I was making waves.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am the one who can get H. P. Lovecraft in schools.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I pissed them off when I was asking for above Questionable Conten as I abtly call them Pig Feces.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“he will scream “hate crime” when someone beats him up for being an asshole.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Go indexing even a horse pisshead and go home and cunt mother a little bit that balls in the forehead. — Nickolaus Pacione (Pacionese to Finnish to English, via Bing Translator)
“Your mother was a penis in her forehead.” — Nickolaus Pacione (Pacionese to Finnish to English, via Bing Translate)
“You see a pastor railing about not being allowed to read about the Sermon on the Mound.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Fucking fagot – hope a sperm whale is covered in a fountain of ham butt.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am a combined for profit and non-profit; but I am independent because CreateSpace.com signs my royalty checks but I am also Mary Sangiovanni’s landlord.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“my 2014 release, a controversial novella called “Legend Keeper” it will cause as much controversy as The Sermon on the Mound.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Eery plagiarist apposes to my rule; it’s people like this that rule is in effect.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“You little child molesting fuck stealing someone disabled — I should knock your teeth in over that in front of your wife that’s if you’re straight …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… but correct me if I am right.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am a little unhinged learning one of my writers passed away of cancer at 46.” — Nickolaus Pacione, hoping he lives that long
“He’s like a case of herpes that won’t go away. ” — vampqueen24 (Note: vampqueen24 isn’t the Nitwit; the quote was about Pacione)
“I suggest you look each other up because book burning is not exactly a forgivable deed when done to a writer — and every time someone looks up their books.” — Nickolaus Pacione
” Do not lump me in with either Latin Kings or them because I might be the one man who can get them dropping their colors.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“You are the poster whore for overpopulation because Fossil Lake represents this are you writing as “myself” on amazon.com as that sounds like a sock puppet.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I did when I wrote Legend Keeper, ‘You want monster, I will give you monster. You not like monster when I do it because I grew up in one.'” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am teach a first time editor and a year three how to do year ten anthology — I am a year 24 writer, will be a year 25 in 2015 …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am teaching Monika Fugate… how to become a writer and editor but I something I am trying to also get something going for her and that’s a gear drive.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“It takes a sociopath to write the kind of horror I write …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“’Loo long and didn’t read,’ I can see some of you bitching about.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Still think I am a fucking loco bastard?” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I take on the personally of my curator, Nickolaus A. Pacione.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am curious about this as he said the book was done by a ghost writer; my own work — I wrote all of it unless collaborated.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“When you are trying to cover up a scar from something that was very frightening that I had nightmares about that for years — forcing a hair cut with a dog hair clippers.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… some of them I know personally are not under enough plucking a band on bandcamp.com when they made me piss off.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am have taken a liking to #djent and this is an interesting find …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Being Treated Like Personal Non Grata: http://youtu.be/bSi3ciVywJI via @YouTube hey @dustindiamond I am going to say this to “Zach” — #shutup” — Nickolaus Pacione
“The signature calling card of the plagiarism posse is the sexual abuse of unicorns …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“CreateSpace.com spoke up for him when he wrote and published Legend Keeper when Lulu.com was mamby-pampby about it;” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Since Brian Keene bitched — I am had to edit this post up.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Because I wrote the story which Edgar Allan Poe at 40 wrote was likened to when I was just 25 years old.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I don’t have mind powers — just a very strong observatant ability to catch huskters.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“You want to arrest me for slandering a cop; a cop saved my life so that’s why I have contempt for small town cops because you have a big city problem and it is only solvable in the news.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“That was became a published author teh first time…” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Where else can you choose between a good friend chicken or a roast beef sandwich. Good place to go before you see a show — very affordable and it’s one of the few places you can get some fresh chicken that’s friend.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“when I was fourteen I knew how to fly a Censa but I didn’t fly alone though.” [sic] — Nickolaus Pacione
“Chapin Illinois. I wish I didn’t move here. I hated it because I was like a changed animal.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“It would be the encumbering thoughts which would be in the sleep of the recent days, though it would never be as it would be when I would sleep — since the recent weeks past, my sleeping patterns had changed quite a bit.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Here I go again sticking the preverbal stick in the hornet’s nest …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“This is a tricky process from moving to CreateSpace.com to lulu.com — so anyone who knows how to do the bleed aspect; I good at designing the wraparounds. It’s almost like I almost do this as well as I worked with lulu.com.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“When your an author like me Nickolaus Pacione, I, Controversy incarnate.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I have no addresses or e-mail addresses in Legend Keeper as I made my article public on linkendin.com talking about this.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“As those who know me I am an occasional beer drinker and known beer affectionado.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“you can’t the size of the dog out of the fight but the fight” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I couldn’t retain information.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… I will get an injection from the courts for you to surrender this to me …” — Nickolaus Pacione
” I almost killed a guy with my bare hands or thought I had nearly killed him for kneeing him in the face.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“You don’t punish the idiot but punish the village.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Lake Fossil Press is the fagship company of Nickolaus Albert Pacione.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“So I think whoever that attitude whoever buys books from lulu.com is going to get herpies — it pisses me off.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“He had started out self-publishing and became a publisher with the themoniker Lake Fosssil Press.Fossil Press (named for his science fiction story. His first one.) [sic] — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am called the Windy City Madman and had been said to have a razor wire mouth on me.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Sorry I will never be a fudge packet.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I already see a shrink cunt fucking diabolical.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“This me being very guttural with the way I wrote this.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“As I have the mind I a mind I have now in the body of me when I was 12-13 years old.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I hope everything you do….fops!” — Nickolaus Pacione
“If you are uspet — I touched a war nerve with you.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Execpt I gently pushed the propped door open and photograpehd my ex-room mate sleeping with her hair falls in place, I am sure the room mate wished he had the video tape of her chasing me up 79th street screaming, ‘Give me fucking camera you sheep molester.'” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I emailed back to see if they were still interested and yes it is Jabberwocky literally agency.” — Tabetha Jones
“And for the one called Grandmaster — that’s a fucking abomination, a trapstry as he threatened to burn my projects like a fascist.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I have no mental filter.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I also play bass some myself and I will slight of hand tricks being I will play with all four fingers then slide a pick into my thumbs to do faster parts. ” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I read books because heavy metal and became a horror author because I am a horror author.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am real jerkoff — and about to prove it here.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I only get $745 a month …” — Nickolaus Pacione, talking about his welfare check
“I really wish April made the recording of when she coined me the now known nickname and the origins of being calle The Hybrid — I love this one as much as being known as The Maven.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I have meager existence; I had gotten by with eating 7-11 food. I am the same way where I will not take any old jobs.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… because being quite intelligent because I am well read and educated — I was blessed with having an educated mind.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I draw like a psychotic 16 year old sometimes but when I draw in pencil — I will have a cool drawing in about 20 mintues.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Six out of ten people without insurance can get insurance for $100 a day or less.” — former journalist and current White House Spokesman, Jay Carney
“I was blessed to be well read and appreciate actual litereture …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Something for the hopefuls about what kind of what I had in mind for my magazine here. I know a lot of writers might not see this process but this more for homework for horror lessons here how to be effective with this genre.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“might had seen seen the article they did of me on the Hearld News in 2011 — one of the ;proejcts is there.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Jesus Freak was the first horror story I wrote which carried the subject matter that I wanted to do the show the kindsip between me and James Hetfield.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“And this is for that faux journalist who might be too ugly to show her face here as in Stinky Cat, your little cartoon is crap because it’s an accurate representation of me here.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“That’s it I suck as a human being.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“In other words, sit down and shut up here as I am going to show you how not to alienate your readers here.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“So yeah want to give it a shot with a short story and watn tro be published with it — show me what you have if you have something starting at 2200 words with the magazine, give it go here because what have you really got to lose here?” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I was thinking about teaching #specialeducation and using #literature to help …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… it’s all legal as this is Plagiarism is a subject matter I addressed just as I just been published and was the first small press author to do this.in the court of public opinion.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Mike Brendan you are saying I need to Shrunk and Whites, yeah fuck you there pal as I do everything digitally and read back what I am typing as I am tying it” — Nickolaus Pacione
“If you want to be accurate, I never left junior college. I became cool in junior college …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I’ve never been married and deal with someone like a psycholotic …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I could very easy went to school with …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am can write.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am do give the finger sometimes.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“My mentality is not stuck in high school — it’s stuck in junior college…” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Don’t call me a fucking snail oil salesman.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I can say something really offensive without getting in deep dodo for saying it and no one complaining when I do say something offensive too either” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… my mother was just getting ready to deliver Stephanie for the first time.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I was moved to the second company in January of 1995 along with Kincer when I couldn’t pass the written testes given in the first company.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Even when I was non-practicing; I didn’t allow gay oriented Gothic sites to be included on the web ring.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Flying Cigars isn’t a gay glam goth rocker, it is a Goth Metal Head who listens to Type O Negative and Black Sabbath.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I just put words on pages you fucking asshole …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“… quit being a fudgepacker and screw me …” — Nickolaus Pacione
“The odds of dying in a terrorist attack are a lot lower than they are of dying in a car accident, unfortunately.” — Barack Hussein Obama
“I wrote my UFO story like a Canadian author, I used Canadian English when I wrote that story using spellings they would use in Canada for Theatre and Centre.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I have medium sized hands so sometimes when I give the finger it might look short if I am not curling my nuckles when I give the finger. ” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am known for not mincing my words. It rubs people the wrong way. It’s part of my charm.” — Nickolaus “Mr. Charm” Pacione
“I am the Ted Nugent of horror fiction.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I will not write about masturbation gone wrong.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I used my latter career to pay homage to Matheson, and stick my thumb on my nose at the oversexed horror genre — I am a purist like R.C’s dad.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“my thoughts go out to the victims of that horrible tragedy there is a horror story to be written out of it but I am just going to leave it alone” — Nickolaus Pacione, on Shocklines
“The dead boy still laughed at me in the cemetery calling me a ‘retard.'” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Look at the retard that got hit by a car, he should be dead right now instead of running up against the car like Superman,” — Nickolaus Pacione
“This is getting beyond a yoke.” — Lindsay’s Aunt Martha Wilson
“You will not be visited by any one from the internet again.” — Lindsay Anne Kendal
“I am a police office.” — Laura Wilson
“I will never be David Boyer nor will I ever be him.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“you are not going to convince anyone Boyer and I are different people.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“. . . man I am abusing the word processor. I have been a writing fool.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I own you like you don’t own my company.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“What’s wrong — got your eyes burned with the piss of truth?” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am a combined vehicle.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Let the dar and faather party begin.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Horror is my livilyhood.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“Coffee is the drink of writers!” — Nickolaus Pacione
” I am an enforcer style admin meaning I am zero tolerance.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I worked with pros yes, and I get a lot of them who are mid list in the genre and I too am a midlist author.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I had some typo on the back cover because I was learning how to play with a new font on the back cover and sometimes it’s easy to fuck things up.” — Lossil Fossil Press
“Slash fiction of any kind insults my intelligence of any kind.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“There will be people in the industry that would like to burn me until I die . . .” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I am just looking for the artwork and if anyone sends me a fucking unicorn drawing I will kick the shit out of them — there is nothing gothic about unicorns.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“The reason I admit that I am Lloyd Campbell now is because some troll kidnapped the pen name and trying to pass him off as a half-naked idiot with a unicorn fetish.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“How could I be the troll if I know how to develop a web site . . .” — Nickolaus Pacione
“I will not mention names of the woman because I am not the kind of guy who would boink and tell.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“He brought out my darkest of emotions from a Christian standpoint, I wanted something really potent for him as a first time appearing as my main pen name. When the troll named “AngryInillinois” raped the pen name that was when I wasn’t amused one bit. My pen name was being held hostage by a faceless terrorist.” — Nickolaus Pacione
“The gay community wants to assinate me…” –Nickolaus Pacione
–Lewis Unknown
“Truth be told, I committed suicide . . .” –Lawrence Dagstine, on his Facebook (7/30/10)
“All my stories for the most part were done on the first try — so many authors on the den gave me the nickname ‘First Try Pacione.'” –Nickolaus Pacione, on Authors Pub
“I am reluctantly a public figure now.” –Nickolaus Pacione, 7/25/10, on his Fanhistory wiki user page.
“It’s not libel unless it’s true.” –Nickolaus Pacione, on Helium
“Show us on the doll where logic touched you, Nick.” –Mike Brendan
“out of powerbombs so I can’t powerbomb your sorry ass.” –Nickolaus Pacione, on VF
“I clearly won’t publish SomethingAwful.com goons because they’re considered worst than white thrash or worms crawling on their bellies.” –Nickolaus Pacione, on WriterFace
“The guy lives in a delusional bubble made of titanium. It cannot be popped.” –Amaterasu2314
“I believe we all agree on the fact that Nickolaus Pacione is very likely the greatest piece of human EPIC FAIL in the history of the internet.” –DhampirCarmilla
“I am going to say what I am going to say no matter what toes it will be on the receiving end of it who would end up getting stepped on.” –Nickolaus Pacione, on WritingForums
“You’re messing with a professional when it comes to trolls, you troll Autoaim.” –Nickolaus Pacione, on VF, May 30, 2010
“Piss off church burning father raper.” –Nickolaus Pacione, on a Metal cult thread at VF, May 6, 2010
“. . . people drinking the last beer in the fridge or taking the last slice of pizza, glam metal, not having Sci-Fi Channel. Terrorists who make our lives in this wonderful country a living hell. Naysaying assholes who are local. My works dying with me after I am gone. Being stuck in a small town and not being able to drive.” –Nickolaus Pacione, on his list of dislikes from his VF profile
“you assholes are putting your taint on a very good community on here and I’ve been a part of this place for a good long time. You really want to fuck with me on here I will go the press about a fucker who plays with stuffed animals and steals stories that are about to have movie rights to them” –Nickolaus Pacione, in his 31st post on VF’s Shock-to-the-system cult
“Keep fapping your gums . . .” –Nickolaus Pacione
“I watched with saddly as she walked towards the kitchen/living area.” –Michael Ault
“everytime I dealt with police in Wheaton and Naperville, more so Wheaton, I got frisked for weapons and drugs because I would be nocturnal.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“I didn’t just him. I actually jumped into the knee strile — the person when I gave him a strong effort. I couldn’t rember how fast that move was but went done it will br done with s fewjard abes for about 2 houres a dady at night.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“Hey asshole — you got that all wrong. I am a straight man so I am attracted to the opposite sex.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“I don’t even have hello kitty pencils. I use silver and gold gel roller pens.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“The fucker is making it hard for me to get a lady.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“Don’t Thread On Me” –Nickolaus Pacione
“I am not about to . . . make the magazine good.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“Let me sell those fags.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“. . . my buddies and I blackmail each other all the time.” –Nickolaus Pacione
“When you think Greek Mythology the first thing comes to mind is Homer but some might hear the name — they will think Matt’s beloved character from The Simpsons.” — back cover blurb for Nickolaus Pacione’s edition of The Iliad by Homer
Sweet maker! Everything this man writes sounds like it’s been mangled by Google translator! Hours of sheer entertainment! He’s sort of the Tommy Wiseau of the writing world except . . . you know, less likeable.