You’ve heard the soundtrack. Get ready for the video!
No, I didn’t put this together, but I do think it’s great. The details are what make it: the shifty eyes, the sputtering, the yellow teeth, the Giants cap, the RAEG . . .
Oh, lord. Anyone who leaves messages on an answering machine is well aware they are being recorded, because, well, that’s what answering machines do. Here’s the intro that accompanies it:
After getting the number to my company, Nicky continues to leave unpleasant messages (even after me asking him numerous times to stop calling via email) and his phone harassment peaks with him threatening my life, breaking the law. He has always threatened my life over the internet, but this was the first time he did so over the phone, and certainly not the last…
It didn’t take long for whoever registered etherealgazette.com and lakefossilpress.com to get them up and running. There’s an announcement on SL about the former. All the talk on ETT about both made me curious. They were both live when I checked this morning.
In case our favorite Italian meatball is reading this, no, I don’t own either one of those domains. Whoever got them registered and hosted, however, should be prepared to receive death threats, and demands to turn them over for free to the Nickster, as well as pay for hosting for him, for the duration of the registration period.
I suspect that “Carol” is Carol Sullivan, one of his contributors, and a member of Nicky’s new forum. Anyway, this was posted at the Lake Fossil Press newsgroup on Yahoo.
I don’t have a Facebook account. Does anyone know what happened over there?
He also asked that we each as him as our Facebook friend so he can stay in touch!
That sentence is marginally better than one Peaches might write. “Read what I meant, not what I typed! K thx bai.”
In the past, we’ve seen Nicky try to sell a used pair of his jeans “that shrunk,” and a rubber rat, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen him try to sell his guidelines.
Step right up, folks! For a mere $3, you can download the guidelines for a TP that was due out last year. If that’s not enough for you, he’ll throw in the GLs for TP7.
The guidelines for every anthology planned by Lake Fossil Press — Tabloid Purposes 6 and 7 GLS are book one and two. Then the AuthorsDen anthology is planned — this one is long been planned but didn’t have the GLs for it.
What’s that, you ask? GLs for every upcoming anthology, except for Avarice? Besides, the GLs for TP6:66 were put out for free a long time ago. Unless I’m mixing up TP and EG, I thought he recently said he was canceling TP6.
||Lake Fossil Press and Broken Mindframe Books.
||©2010 Nickolaus A. Pacione (Standard Copyright License)
||January 12, 2010
As if that wasn’t funny enough, he misspelled the name of one of his imprints on page one of the preview — Broken Mindfframe. Way to show off your editing skills, Peaches!
BTW, whatever happened to Angry Guinea Press?
It’s been nearly two months since Mr. Pacione announced he was recruiting a model to promote Lake Fossil Press part time. I wonder whether he’s gotten any applications.
The basic requirements (scroll about halfway down the page in the above link) are bizarre. He wants a fat or skinny chick who looks good in jeans and hightops, like a cross between a goth and a metalhead, and can look scary. I understand the scary part; if the other criteria were satisfied, scary would be the automatic result. The desired dress code is completely un-goth, further proving that Pacione is, at best, a hanger-on, and not part of the goth scene at all.
This is my favorite line:
Just be able to look scary too — because . . . I am on a fixed income.
Unless he meant “scared,” one doesn’t follow from the other.
I would venture a guess that not one “model” has sent an application. We would have heard more about it if Pacione had received inquiries.
It seems to be a harebrained scheme he picked up from the local scene. Never one to have an original idea, Pacione decided he must have a goth chick of his own to promote his press.
The Horror publishers in the area recruit goth chicks with the titles they publish.
I’d be very curious to know the status.