Nicky’s Back

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water . . .

He left comments here, and here.

This entry was posted in Legion of Nitwits, Nickolaus Pacione, Pacione and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to Nicky’s Back

  1. johaha says:

    He must have forgotten to take his meds.

  2. Chedrania says:

    Quick, everyone stockpile Nicky-Off (aka soap and logic)!

  3. Chedrania says:

    or it could also be called Nicky Repellent.

  4. Rusty says:

    Make it insecticidal soap.

  5. Kody Boye says:

    We were starting to get bored. ๐Ÿ˜›

  6. JupiterPluvius says:

    Wow, he is so failtacular. He’s awash in fail.

    Hey, Peaches? You fail at Christianity as hard as you do at writing. Protip: What Would Jesus Do? Not go around threatening people with death and shouting “FAGGOT” and shit.

    Or do you have some kind of off-brand Bible that has weird typos in it?

    I’m imagining Nicky’s Bible (which probably says “BIBBLE” on the cover) saying stuff like:

    And seeing the multitudes, Jesus went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him: and he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying, “FUCK YOU FAGGOTS! SNORT YOUR BROTHER! SIN FLAG! WHY DON’T YOU LET ME PUBLISH MY BOOKS? OR GET EXCEPTED ON A MAGAZINE?”

    Nicky, stop buying your sacred scriptures at the Dollar Store, OK?

  7. Phil Smith says:

    I think he just resurfaced because his birthday’s coming up and he’s feeling lonely again. Poor boy. Thirty-two years on this earth and his prince still hasn’t turned up…

  8. raingods says:


    I believe fail is the only thing he ever washed with.

  9. Rusty says:

    In honor of Nicky’s birthday on Sunday, I shall have to write another chapter of PISSBLOGGER! If I recall, I left Richard in the Time-Life Building. Next stop: Times Square.

  10. raingods says:

    Ugh, his birthday is a week before mine.

  11. Sphinx says:

    . . . Wall-Street worshipping faggot?

  12. I’ll be in suburban Chicago seven days from now. Shall I drop by the Pacione residence, and try to cheer Nicky up?

  13. raingods says:

    Ben, make sure you get your shots first.

  14. cussedness says:

    I recommend wearing a haz-mat suit.

  15. Well, I was planning to drop off a “care package” at the house for Nicky’s benefit. Inside, it would’ve contained:

    * Shampoo
    * Soap or a bottle of body wash
    * Scissors to cut off that nasty hair
    * Toothpaste and mouthwash
    * A new toothbrush
    * The want-ads, with several jobs circled in red Sharpie
    * A double CD called ’80s Metal: Gold with all of Nicky’s favorites
    * The latest editions of The Advocate and OUT magazine
    * A selection of Brian Keene novels

    This was up until I decided I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on items that were most likely going to be put directly into the trash, or angrily thrown across a room by either Nicky, or his grandmother.

    Besides, it’s not like Nicky would ever take the hint, right?

  16. AlKilyu says:

    He talks about faggots and gay porn/writing more than anyone, gay or not.

    Seriously he mentions it ALL THE TIME. His constant reminding that he isn’t gay and doesn’t write erotica (which he can’t, because he literally hasn’t had sex in ten years) isn’t aimed and convincing us, it’s him convincing himself he isn’t gay.

    And I don’t think he is winning that battle. Sadly, because that old bag that fills him with hate probably puts that in his head, he’d probably kill himself rather than deal with his own sexuality.

  17. Crawford Tillinghast says:

    Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water . . .



  18. cussedness says:

    Ghost shark attack!

  19. Nickolaus Pacione says:

    Kody let me ask this question, did you get enough love from your parents when you were a child? Wait, don’t answer that — I guess you were molested by both your parents.

  20. raingods says:

    Notice how he goes after Kody-yet ignores anyone who comes close to his age? You’re a chicken shit Nikita.

  21. cussedness says:

    Nicky go suck your peaches.

    Your mother never loved you. You were a headache for her. Years later she felt guilty about the fact that she could not cope with you. She was just too young when she had you and had not matured enough to deal with raising a disabled child.

    You were hyper active and a slow learner.

    You were never intelligent and you have no talent.

    You were the product of incest and statutory rape.

    You always pick on the youngest person at a site, blog, or board.

    Because you know you can’t win.

    Yet, you are filled with so much hatred, that you are driven to try and hurt others.

    I know that it is not your fault that you were mentally deficient.

    I know that it was not your fault that you were born into a family that could not give you the love you craved.

    But in the end you must take responsibiliity for your own shortcomings and stop blaming others for what you will never be able to do.

    I pity you, Nicky.

    I really do.


  22. Sabledrake says:

    Apply directly to the forehead.

  23. johaha says:

    Fuck off you short little runt with no cock.

    When was the last time you won a fist fight let alone a writing contest?

    The answer is never. Now crawl back into your granny’s cunt and leave the adults alone.

  24. Nickolaus Pacione says:

    Cussedness — I am not even done with you, so kindly fuck off and go jump into a shark infested waters with a cut finger.

    Ben — I guess you gave my two cousins trouble in your lifetime and knowing they are out there is something that will piss you off being that is dragging up something from your passed too. What do you all do go around snorting coccaine and see how many times you can attempt to make me fail.

  25. mel says:

    don’t you know by now, nicky, that you’ll never win in a war of words with anyone, let alone someone as gifted as kody?

  26. Kody Boye says:

    Kody let me ask this question, did you get enough love from your parents when you were a child? Wait, donโ€™t answer that โ€” I guess you were molested by both your parents.

    lol, no, I wasn’t molested. I’m not THAT stupid (or sexual, lol.) I expected something worse than that…

  27. Kody Boye says:

    But wait, cussedness! Just because I’m WAY younger than Nick doesn’t mean I can’t win. I mean, gosh… I thought I hit a hard spot with the KFC jokes.

    (and yes, I meant the hard spot, lol.)

  28. cussedness says:

    When Pacione brought out the first Tabloid Purposes, he took advantage of many underage writers. One of them was Kyle Kuchek. I never hear from Kyle these days. He acquired a social life and stopped writing.

    I miss him.

    Kyle tried to reason with Nicky and got shot down every time and finally, Kyle was forced to disappear.

    He worried that his folks would find out about what was going on with Nicky and take his internet away.

    Kody, I believe that you could beat Nicky hands down. He’s a wimp.

  29. Kody Boye says:

    That sucks about Kyle. I never knew him, but it’s still sad to hear that a writer was forced to disappear because of one person…

  30. Louise says:

    “Kyle Kuchek.”

    Kyle is awesome. ๐Ÿ™‚ I miss that kid.

  31. Sabledrake says:

    I’ve never thought it was safe to go back in the water. For a horror writer, the list of things I’m a’scared of is a damn long one … and many of them live in the water!

    But darling Nickie is proof that there’s plenty of slimy invertebrates on land as well. Lest we forget.

  32. Mike Brendan says:

    Nicky is a slug in the pond, hanging out in the toxic waste.

  33. Rusty says:

    Nickypoo, you really need a new comedy routine. You’re getting incredibly boring. You really need to come up with some new insults. Let’s all throw pennies at Pacione.

    And, how many times does Ben have to tell you he has no idea whether he went to school with cousins? Obviously, even if he did, he didn’t know who in the hell they were.

    You do realize, don’t you, that I back up this blog, so every comment you leave insulting or swearing at people is saved for posterity? You do more to ruin your sales with your vile behavior than any blog such as this, could possibly do.

  34. Louise says:

    Mr. Pacione can’t scare me, no matter how hard he may try. I watched my father pull out his own rotten teeth with pliers (stone cold sober, I might add, he was), and I beat up my 6 ft 4in cousin with a large tennis shoe, after he hassled me while I was building my Social Studies project. I made the big bugger cry, I did! Nothing scares me! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  35. Louise says:

    SS should be possessive above, damn it!

  36. Mike Brendan says:

    Regarding Nicky’s pseduo threats…

    Four words: I am Iron Man.

  37. Phoenix says:

    *makes mental note not to piss off Louise.*

  38. Serryah says:

    Nick, why should anyone answer *your* questions when you won’t answer anyone else’s?

    You’ve yet to answer mine of several weeks back.

    But then, you’re too much of a chickenshit to talk sensibly to anyone.

  39. Louise says:

    “*makes mental note not to piss off Louise.*”

    haha, Rain! ๐Ÿ˜€ No, I’m much calmer now. Those were my teen years. lol ๐Ÿ˜‰

  40. JupiterPluvius says:

    I cannot believe that a supposed adult in his 30s would try to harass a teenager on the Internet.

    The fact that Peaches FAILS so spectacularly in getting Kody’s goat is just icing on the cake.

    Dude, Kody is half your age and he’s outclassing you by light-years without even breaking a sweat. That should be telling you something right there.

  41. Also, there’s no way in hell Nicky would have the spine to say the things he does to Kody while hiding behind a computer to Kody’s face in person.

  42. Kody Boye says:

    You know, just because I’m young and rather odd doesn’t mean I can’t kicj someone’s ass if I need to. People get intimidated just when they look at me… It’s fucking creepy sometimes. LOL!

  43. Mike Brendan says:

    You don’t even need to look intimidating. Just introduce yourself with confidence and he’ll make tracks like the Road Runner.

  44. Kody Boye says:

    I has confidence…

    There’s BOUND to be an lolcat around with that.

    I command Rusty to find it! *thumbsup*

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