I was poking around some old threads at Absolute Write this evening, and came across this on a thread about PublishAmerica’s lousy, and sometimes reused cover art. Basically, it uses stock photos, but then has someone spend a minute or two doing cropping, resizing, and maybe adding a filter, plus the title and author’s name. I’m horrible at using Photoshop, but even I can manage something in that league with a few keystrokes and clicks.
Some of them are hilarious, especially the one for the poor woman who wrote a book about the reasons why people feel so tired all the time. It had the word “crap” in the title, so PA selected a photo of a roll of toilet paper.
Then this caught my eye, about halfway down the page.
Sounds familiar, eh? It’s the same title that Nickypoo announced he’s going to be using. I can just imagine our favorite greasy gothy midget tracking down poor Mr. Bailey, and sending the guy a barrage of email threats to sic an e-lawyer on him for “raping my copyrights,” or some such nonsense, even though a title can’t be copyrighted.
We should do a contest. Who can create the most compact yet all-encompassing “Nicky” sentence? Here’s my contribution:
“I GUESS MR. BAILEY TAKES A VIDEO CAMERA TO MOVIE THEATERS AND SUCKS HIS MOTHERS DICK WITH THAT MOUTH, THE FAGGOT CHICKENFUCK!”
The winner gets to cry him/herself to sleep, knowing that they are way too deep inside Nickys mind for their own good.
“Michael D. Bailey this faggoty fat fuck earned a spot on my wall of shame for copyright rape I will post his personal contact information so my Italian friends can deal with this piece of Anally Inflicted Disease Shit.”
It’s pretty lame, but I couldn’t bring myself to insert any more errors into that . . . “sentence.”
Needs more cock.
“Baileyyou pigraping worm — you don’t mess with an Italian’s copyrights that are like his children — I want five minutes with this faggot before exposing him to the press.”
I think I’ll be crying myself to sleep tonight whether I win or not.
Allow me to paraphrase Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri:
“Nickolaus lies ahead of us, and behind. Have you drunk your fill?”
“I’m going to the press about Micheal Fag Bailey raping my copyrights! I guess Bailey likes messing with Italians from Chicago when he isn’t fucking taking video cameras into movie theaters. What, motherfucker, did Brian Keene and Poppy Z. Brite tell you to pirate my ideas and burn my books like a Nazi?”
Then, when someone asks him what the hostility is for, Nicky can whine “He fucking stole my title, how do you expect me to respond?”
Oh yeah, and ETT got the Nicky hospital “I’m not misssiiiiiiiing” whine video up again.
It’s a thing of beauty — and hilarity. I can’t help laughing every time I see it.
Being easily distracted, I ended up reading the entire PA Covers thread instead of taking my puppy directly outside after he woke up.
I blame you, Rusty, for the mess I have to clean up! 😉
Oh dear!
– Nicky joins “Metal” cult
– he posts
– gets called a f@ggot by The-Mayor
– doesn’t like it
– Homicide_Incide arrives, bitch slaps him
– The-Mayor calls Nicky a f@ggot nonstop
– The-Mayor finds his ED page and posts gay pics of him
– Al_Kilyu thinks y’all should join!
http://vampirefreaks.com/group_comment.php?entry=3611609
“Hey Mods — you reading thiss thing? Some nu-metal rejects changed the topic really fucking far here. ”
XD
Oh yes, that’s a nice thread Al, looking forward to seeing how this one goes.
Oh Gee… I hope Trustfund Tommy posting those ED and FW links to The Mayor last night didn’t get Nicky into trouble. ;D
He’s also been pulling his usual performance on The Mayor’s comment page.
http://vampirefreaks.com/comments.php?user=The-Mayor
Retared? Seriously? And a “facelees” one to boot. Maybe we need a new bingo card.
I’m sure The-Mayor knows Nicky’s not a stalker. After all, Nicky states so right on his own profile page: “I AM NOT A GOD DAMNED STALKER.” That makes it true, right?
Rusty…I know I am constantly suggesting his lulz be added to ‘Notable Quotes’, however
“they were the CNN of the metal world.”
seems so usable hahaha
I swear he’s trying to kill me on that cult.
“The-Mayor — the fuck did I ever do to you that you have to pull out the doctored pictures from the cyber-bully factory? I got some from your girlfriend the other night. ”
“I got some from your girlfriend the other night. ”
I had to look at pictures of sad puppies to stop laughing before I went into a fit.
Mayor would destroy him. I notice Nicky isn’t longing for “five minutes alone” with him like he does with others and hasn’t issued any physical threats.
I sure hope no one PMs The-Mayor with Nicky’s contact info, for that would be bad for Nicky.
🙂
“That picture is fake too because I was holding Quakes and Storms in that one, one of my anthologies I edited then in one of the giveaways I was doing one of my novella The Storms of Armageddon. If anyone is crazy it’s you.”
Proof he used those for giveaways (to promote himself) and not for charity.
http://autoaim.org/metal1.png
http://autoaim.org/metal2.png
http://autoaim.org/metal3.png
I hate to admit it, but I found the members of Astarte pretty hot. Too bad they play black metal, which I really can’t get into at all.
I also laughed at Nicky bragging about meeting Cradle of Filth. One major poseur meets a group of poseurs!
Awww nicky’s getting all butthurt that people stopped posting pics of hot metal chicks that he’ll never get close to him a million years to show the world he has teh gay :p
He’s best friends with Grigori 3 and didn’t bother to mention them and Gwen? Nice guy!
“also, having a teenage mother really caused you to have a nasty mind.”
WOW how did they find that out about him so quick? That guy must have read his profile and caught the part where he mentions his mom is fifteen years older than him. Still though, to find that amongst the dozens of walls-o-text on his profile is impressive.
He added The-Mayor to his shitlist.
Yeah he said something to him in that cult about blocking him, but typical Nicky, still sends HIM messages. Speaking of typical Nicky, he cried for mods but they got on him for whining. So awesome.
http://autoaim.org/fossil1.png
I can’t stop laughing.
That thread is still going . . .
It’ll get locked eventually, or even removed. Pretty much every Nicky thread, anywhere, despite the initial laughs people have, eventually starts to upset regulars and/or he finds a way to talk someone into killing it.
Speaking of mods, someone made it so when you click on threads with him in it, a soundbyte of him plays! I’ve never seen that done before! I remember the soundbyte quite well, I think it was either from the call he made to “Mina’s ex” or to dan0o.
???
Lucky me…I didn’t have anything to drink. The pic of him and Phailbin cracked me up.
I doubt most of Nikita’s new enemies at VF even know who Mike Philbin is, but that picture’s a classic.
LOL, I saw that Rusty! I think that’s a great addition to the Notable Quotes page! I’ve never heard someone use an “insult” like church burning father raper in my life.
He must be working his Chinese menu of insults.
I saw on Autoaim’s page he has DatAss as his friend (http://www.vampirefreaks.com/datass) so out of curiosity I clicked on it…and after all this time out of nowhere he commented on her page today
“May 06, 2010, 12:48pm
Do you burn flags personally? I am willing to guess you do because you knew where to find the doctored pictures you anti-American bitch.”
She can’t even PM him if she’s on his shitlist, so that means he just up and did that out of nowhere. He was goofed on by a (new) group of people so he goes after her? This is more proof he believes in a pecking order. He got humiliated again so he takes it out on someone he deems weaker than he, even when they aren’t doing anything.
Which means it’s about time for another ETT blog entry.
Holy crap, have you guys seen this one?
From a comment he left on Emporer_of_Metal’s profile,
http://vampirefreaks.com/Emporer_of_Metal
LAKEFOSSIL
[online]
[Reply]
May 07, 2010, 02:44am
I am pitching one of my stories to Cartoon Network for an animated feature presentation. Cross your fingers on that one.