Presenting A Gauntlent [sic]

Nicky’s “gauntlent” entry is unintentionally hilarious.

I am presenting the gauntlet with this submission call and offering $30 for editor’s choice. Since the assholes at Skullvines Press keeps insulting me by calling me a fan fiction writer in the Edgar Allan Poe and H.P. Lovecraft fandom (I just have a style that just echoes those influences.)

At least he got the spelling of gauntlet correct within the body of his post.

So I am looking for horrors of hardship and poverty. I am a struggling author and publisher, I pay authors out of my own pocket with my disability check. I started Lake Fossil Press to keep me sane.

Taking his meds might work a little better, because LFP isn’t doing the trick for him.

I started Broken Mindframe Books in 2007 to house my memoir.

That’s his eyeshadow book about how people have been picking on him since he was in middle school, and that’s why he’s such an asshole.  Exposethetard posted a few hilarious cartoon videos of excerpts from that one.

I mixed it up with Quakes And Storms by including nonfiction submissions in the anthology. This is the trait that made my company unique to the small press for a long time,

That was the book he edited that got him in legal trouble for stealing a National Geographic cover.  I’ll give him credit for that making his company unique.

He considers himself a professional victim, among other things, but really, he’s only a professional grade-A jerk.

The comments are even better than the entry.

THOUGHTS ON “PRESENTING A GAUNTLENT”

  1. May as well offer 300, seeing as you never pay anyone anyway.

    REPLY

     

    • Look jackhole, I paid Ray Faraday Nelson $30.00 for his story. I used to offer bonuses to writers who were also part of Tabloid Purposes. A Tabloid Purposes alumni would been looking at $25.00 for their story early on. I was a paying market from the very beginning. I offered payment to some of the writers of the first Tabloid Purposes, they actually refused payment. I am having the allumni help me look for the author that would be editor’s choice then I would invite the editor’s choice author to do a guest blog on here. I published three 4theluv anthologies so far. The first one like this was one I did just for shits and giggles because I had downtime between Tabloid Purposes 3 and the next issue of The Gazette. Two of my Issue 3 contributors decided to join me on More Frightening Than Fiction, a fan from Don Henrie’s message board who read some of my freebies submitted and a contributor who wrote a nonfiction story for Quakes And Storms: A Natural Disaster Anthology rejoined the fray plus a member from a group I was active with. I was just accepted for Withersin but didn’t hear back for a street date so I thought I would include the rough draft of the story that was accepted for them.
      I am doing this as editor’s choice like Coach Culbertson did when he edited Coach’s Midnight Diner and Relief Journal, The Ethereal Gazette: Issue 10 was peers with Relief Journal and Withersin. Coach’s Midnight Diner: Jesus Vs. Cthulhu Edition was Tabloid Purposes IV’s contemporary. I bought the anthology when it first came out then e-mailed Coach saying, “I have to take you with me as my signing mate for Gothicfest 2007. Here’s a copy of Tabloid Purposes 3 to read, I am just trying to finish Tabloid Purposes IV. I am looking for an anthology that balances out Tabloid Purposes IV’s dark nature.” Coach agreed to join me and he hand delivered my print copy of the Diner — I devoured this book in one day and renewed my faith in God that night. Some of the writers in the Diner wouldn’t be out of place in a Tabloid Purposes. I almost worked with the breakout star from that anthology on a project that was going to be distributed to schools but the computer crashed and I was working on the anthology that eventually reworked making the project more personal got in the Poe Museum. That anthology was something I planned as something I could give away at shows I did as a promoter. The first namesake came from the leftover submissions I had from Tabloid Purposes IV when I issued out a contest on WritersCafe.org. I was thinking of an idea for a story I got published in the UK of where to give it a home in the United States. The story got me a following in the Goth scene in the UK it was a Goth Zine that was put out in the underground there, the editor of that magazine had another magazine that published me and Eric S. Brown in the same issue. My story was originally for an urban legend contest. The story my ex-girlfriend wrote featured in Issue 4 was her entry for the contest. I gave a story I wrote called The Temp a home in Issue 4. Issue 5 saw a story that was simil-released to Dark Gothic Resurrected. When she published and I published it — we were planning to release the issues at the same time. I sent this story to the cover model on Insomnia Magazine as a first look, it was a story that I wrote when I thought I lost a story I previously wrote on the computer in the back bedroom of my Justice, Illinois, apartment. One of the authors on the second namesake immortalized my old address after she read Apt. #2W.

      REPLY

       

      • At a professional rate of five cents per word, the most you’d get out of me would be 600 words. However, since you have repeatedly shown substandard skills with spelling and grammar — let alone, character, action, plot, settling and tone — and you don’t use contracts, I would never submit a piece of work to you. You’re simply not a professional.

         

         

  2. “I am even challenging my most famous critic Ramsey Campbell to try to write a horror take on creative nonfiction. I don’t think he can capture his horror in a true story.”

    Mr Pacione, please at least do your homework and read my non-fiction. It refutes your comment.

    REPLY

     

  3. ” I sent one of my unpublished Creative nonfiction stories to Joe via e-mail and in a message on facebook he blurbed me saying I know how to capture the reader.”

    Which Joe was this, Joe the Binman? And do you capture them with a candy bar placed under a box propped up with a stick to which you’ve tied some string?

    REPLY

     

  4. Ramsey Campbell has already written the most horrific non-fiction you’ll ever see. The fact that you don’t know this just shows your lack of research and knowledge of the genre you claim to be a master of..

    And what the hell does “Presenting A Gauntlent” mean? I presume it’s a typo?

    If there’s a typo in the heading of your submission call, how the hell do you expect to be taken seriously?

    REPLY

     

  5. And you should really learn the difference between the words namesake and pseudonym.

    REPLY

     

  6. I’ll have to decline this challenge because:

    A.) None of it even makes SENSE, and

    B.) Got an anthology project of my own to focus on.

    But, to the “alumni,” good luck, best wishes and godspeed. It’s never too late.

    REPLY

     

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61 Responses to Presenting A Gauntlent [sic]

  1. cussedness says:

    It took NIcky 7 years to finally figure out that I write fantasy and all through those 7 years, he kept accusing me of plagiarizing him without having read any of my work. When it finally sank into his walnut sized brain that I wrote fantasy, he started saying that I plagiarized REH again without reading my work or knowing anything at all about S&S traditions and tropes.

    • admin says:

      It took him almost that long to realize that my stock in trade is statistical analysis, and research papers.

      • SpicyPixi says:

        You mean, you aren’t a writer who is trying to DESTROY THE WRITING CAREER OF ONE OF THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL AND PROLIFICLY DARK WRITERS EVER?!

        His entries make me LOL

        • admin says:

          I’ll be the first person to admit that I’m much better at math than English, but, I can still write something coherent. Nobody reads research papers for fun; they read them because they have to, for business. Mostly, those go to clients, but a few have been published in trade journals.

    • Melany says:

      He’s still stupid enough to think I’m seriously trying to get a writing career. When I couldn’t care less if anything I write is published or even liked. LOL

  2. marc says:

    He’s got some bad news on the way. Yet another of his publications is about to be pulled from Lulu for not telling writers they were in the book. And it’s one that he brags about more than the rest…

    I think I’ll be able to hear the explosion from here in England.

    • Lewis says:

      Even better it’s happened to that particular one before, it took him years to finally get it back in stock from what I recall. I do hope he’s kept the raws this time.

    • Jaja Inthesky says:

      You are in that book?

      • Lewis says:

        Marc was in Ethereal Gazette 10, another writer just discovered that Nickypoos used a story they submitted years ago without informing them. Which is bad business practice and could open the writer up for issues with real publishers if they submitted it elsewhere not realising it had already been printed.

        • Jaja Inthesky says:

          He can get into real trouble for that type of nonsense – not that he doesn’t deserve it… I would really like to have a look at one of his publications but I refuse to reward his behaviour towards hard working authors with paying money to him! Tricky!

  3. Scott says:

    Ahh Nikita, trying to ride the coattail of others to seem relevant. It hasn’t worked yet, and never will.

  4. Sabledrake says:

    Oh noes he deleted my mention of the anthology. I guess that means it doesn’t exist now. Because his reality says so and therefore it must be true!

  5. admin says:

    Did anyone notice that Nicky edited his title, after he saw this post about it?

  6. Alas, he appears to have blocked my ability to comment. To his gibe

    “I doubt you’ve written a true paranormal account. I doubt you did a memoir that is actually scary.”

    I tried to respond

    “Mr Pacione, please remain ignorant and unconvinced.”

    • Lewis says:

      I’ve been blocked too, I wonder if he accidentally blocked the entire UK? I can hardly imagine he’d want to stop you commenting, Mr Campbell, but in my case he irritates me enough that I’ve lost all interest in playing nice with him, as such I can accept my blocking and won’t be bothered by it unless he chooses to refer to me again.

      • Lewis says:

        I tried commenting using a proxy and it went through like a charm, I then tried commenting without the proxy and I can now comment normally. I think he fixed whatever he did after I pointed out it had blocked you, so if you still wish to you can probably make your comment now, Mr Campbell.

  7. Thanks for that, Lewis! My reply is up as of a minute ago – who knows how long it will linger?

  8. Stinkycat says:

    I think it is safe to say the people Nicky says gave him glowing reviews (whether spoken or written) are easily verifiable by contacting the supposed source of the quote. Unless they are dead, of course.

    I had thought he used to just really believe these delusions, but now I know he is just a pathological liar. The reviews get more glowing as time passes.

    • Melany says:

      I half expect him to start claiming I still like his writing, even though I stopped liking it 15+ years ago when I discovered GOOD horror writers. Nicky isn’t on that list. LOL

  9. Stinkycat says:

    My spouse and I just read Apt #2W for laughs. This is the one he challenged Ramsey Campbell to see if he could do a better story. Wow. We feel like we lost brain cells. A light bulb blew out. He was fearful and worked up and heard a phonograph say a woman’s name. He name dropped Stephen King, Lovecraft, Stir of Echos, Twighlight Zone, Matheson, etc so much the drinking game stopped being funny. He wonders why he’s called a fan fiction writier?

    Nothing else happened. The end. No explanation of what he ruled out (old apt has faulty wiring, HVAC transmits sounds, he was heavily medicated and paranoid…hmmm). Nope, no investigation into it whatsoever.

    The complete bastardization of the English language was painful. I don’t understand why he didn’t at least have someone look at it and correct it before publishing. I guess I know why. He thought he doesn’t need any help writing or editing.

    Wow.

    • Stinkycat says:

      That should be “Twilight Zone”. I told you I was losing brain cells.

    • admin says:

      I once had a lightbulb explode. My reaction was to get out a broom and dustpan, clean up the mess, plug the lamp into a surge protector strip instead of the wall outlet, then replace the bulb.

      Peaches Porcine, superhero, wet himself and wrote a story about how scared he got.

  10. That’s pretty much all his ‘true horror fiction’ when you get right down to it.

    There’s one where he goes to a graveyard and falls off the fence. He got mad at it when I called it “A Fat Fuck Falls Off a Fence” in my review of it.

    • admin says:

      That was “Cuba Road,” I think, although he mentions it again in “A South Barrington Haunting.” Oompa Loompa falls off fence; tears jacket. News at 11.

      Like so many of his stories, it’s “I trespassed. I saw nothing. I got scared anyway, and ran.” He’d been watching too much Zak Bagans.

    • Stinkycat says:

      According to his blog there is one where his roommate doesn’t return the Cox cable box, and he is billed $500. This is a horror story. I’ll have to track that one down for laughs.

      • admin says:

        I’d love to know his explanation for why he thinks, since the cable contract was in his name, it wasn’t his responsibility to return the equipment upon termination of service. For god’s sake, if they won’t send you a mailing label, they’ll send a tech by the dwelling to pick it up.

  11. Scott says:

    Saw a post by Mort Castle about some of his books being pirated, visited the site, and look what I found, TABLOID PURPOSES and COLLECTIVES IN A FORESAKEN LANDSCAPE

  12. marc says:

    I think that Nicky genuinely believes that putting what he thinks Lansdale said on his blog, out of context, constitutes proof that Lansdale blurbed him.

    The fact that Joe flatly denies giving nickpoos any quotes to use seems to be irrelevant. Lets see what happens soon.

  13. marc says:

    Just found this little lovenote in the inbox of my professional email address (the one I use for job applications, sending out stories etc)

    Look for yourself http://www.writingsfromthegrave.com — you are nothing but a libelous faggot. I will go on a crusade to make sure you never get published again, especially since you like to spread lies about me on Amazon.com. I am going to see to it no one will publish you because you are a whiny little bitch, you took your anger out on my titles because I did a PSA saying you are impossible to work with and you slander your ex-publishers. Don’t piss of an editor who was gracious enough to publish you, I gave you a chance, remember that until you vowed to use amazon.com as your public toilet to take a shit on my books and the anthology that got me in the Edgar Allan Poe museum. Your fucking review is a lie about the book of all the stories being public domain The truth is the anthology is three centuries of horror fiction. I went from being an editor to being a curator. When I rebooted the book, I didn’t realize I had a print version of a museum.
    An anthology like that should be treated with respect, because that anthology was my most personal. It was showing the industry my roots in the genre along with bringing a few new friends from a contest I compiled to get submssions for my apex anthology. This anthology you dissed is a spin off of that book. You disrespect this anthology you have no place in the business writing horror. I designed the anthology to give a story I wrote and got published in the UK within the pages of a Goth Subcutlure Fanzine that was an alternate for a longer story they were going to run. This short story was pounded out in two days. This one became one of my personal favorites of my sci-fi horror stories. The magazine went out of print and I couldn’t sell the reprint so I gave the story a home in this anthology for its introduction to the United States for the first time. I did this anthology originally as a giveaway for when I do events as a promoter. When I rebooted the anthology and gave it a handwritten synopsis, the book became one of my most personal projects. It was my baby and I present the question, “Can Nickolaus Pacione hold his own with H.P.. Lovecraft.” I did this after April Derleth called me the hybrid of August Derleth and H.P; Lovecraft–the Poe Museum curator read the story and said I was an updated version of Edgar Allan Poe. This was the third story I wrote using natural disasters as part of the horror concept, but introduced my supernatural horror hallmarks. I introduced some tricks I learned from my third anthology line up — this was the line up that inspired a new style for me. My former room mate beta read the story and got a huge laugh out of the destruction of a Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses and funnel picking up all their Awake Magazines.
    He said, “I love it, you are going to piss off a lot of people with that scene of storm carnage”
    When I did that in the scene — it was a creative way of saying “Fuck You” to those door knocking murderers. The Watchtower Society became an occasional plaything when I write horror.

    • marc says:

      It was sent a few days ago – on 21st. Title of the email was hey fuckwad

      A formal complaint will be going to amazon that one of their authors is sending threatening emails to people who post bad reviews.

      I wonder if he can lose his amazon listings for that…

      • Lewis says:

        He must have sent it right before he vanished from the internet, hopefully into St Joes where he’s getting proper attention. I do wonder what happened to him, normally by now we’d have an update posted from the local library if he’d messed up the pc/internet connection. Ah well best not to look a gift horse in the mouth and just enjoy the peace and quiet.

    • Melany says:

      The only person showing disrespect to his books and authors is Nicky himself with his actions and words.

    • Stinkycat says:

      Now that is the 2nd time he has recently claimed the “Poe Museum curator read the story and said I was an updated version of Edgar Allan Poe.”

      I am contacting the curator now for verification and will post his response. This is libel.

  14. ‘ It was my baby and I present the question, “Can Nickolaus Pacione hold his own with H.P.. Lovecraft.” ‘

    No.

  15. marc says:

    ” I went from being an editor to being a curator. When I rebooted the book, I didn’t realize I had a print version of a museum.”

    That’s a bizarre statement and a half

  16. Stinkycat says:

    Nick better quit with the libel. The response from the Poe Museum curator is below. He not only made up the statement about being told he is an updated version of Poe but grossly overstated the importance of having a book in the library of the Poe Museum (as we all surmised). In keeping with celebrating the spirit of Poe they welcome all Poe-inspired works. I will report him for libel for making any claims to the contrary on any sites where he has his books listed for sale.

    “Thanks for contacting the Poe Museum. In answer to your question, I have not referred to anyone as an “updated version of Edgar Allan Poe.” We at the Poe Museum are not of the opinion that Poe needs to be updated.

    As for your question about including a book in our reference library, we welcome any donations of books related to Edgar Allan Poe’s life and legacy. In addition to the hundreds of volumes of scholarly and critical essays about Poe’s life and works, the study collection also contains several short stories, plays, novels, films, audio recordings, sheet music, operas, and graphic novels inspired by Poe.”

  17. Robin E. says:

    So, all we need to do is send in our own self published books that are Poe inspired, so that when Nickypoo crows about his book, we can likewise brag about ours? He seems to be under the impression that getting a book into the Poe museum is a difficult thing to do. Sounds like a side project is in order.

    • Stinkycat says:

      What Nicky doesn’t seem to comprehend is the library the curator spoke of isn’t on the museum tour. It is a study library and only people see it by request. It’s not right up next to Poe manuscripts or the rest of collectibles. i’ve been there.

      They take whatever books that are given to them that are Poe-inspired (or in Nicky’s case he put in a Poe story in his anthology).

      I was fine letting Nicky run with his delusion with what it meant to have his book there, as it made him feel warm and fuzzy. Once he started faking endorsement quotes from the curator (and distributing them online and with his books) that’s when it’s enough.

      He plays the mentally ill card when he gets cornered. In the past few weeks he’s given that quote twice (that the curator said he was an updated version of Edgar Allen Poe) when we never heard it before. I’m inclined to think it’s not a delusion, and he knows it’s not true and just made it up to try to give himself credibility.

      • Melany says:

        Nicky’s visit to the museum probably didn’t help. They probably realized within 1 minute he’s completely nuts.

  18. Melany says:

    Tonight was interesting. I went to a drum and bugle corps competition and one of the corps’ programs was inspired by “The Raven” the music had snippets of the poem throughout.

  19. JTB says:

    My non-fiction would make Nick piss his pants, once someone explained to him what the big words mean. I must admit that I’m a tad confused about what “face time” is supposed to entail — all I can think of is that he’s lucky he didn’t do any “face time” for jacking my stories.

  20. marc says:

    NIcky I know you read this blog. If you want to see what ramsey’s non fiction is like, read this.

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ramsey-Campbell-Probably-Horror-Fantasies/dp/1902880404

    Also pick up a copy of The face that must die – which has an incredible introduction by Ramsey – some of which can be read in the preview pages on the amazon link

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1933618027/sr=1-1/qid=1375422551/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1375422551&seller=&sr=1-1

    Then maybe you can stop wasting your time with this pathetic challenge of yours. Honestly, it’s the literary equivalent of a retarded hamster challenging a Siberian tiger to a fight. It’s just making you look more pathetic and ignorant than usual.

    • SpicyPixi says:

      Adding to this.

      In case you’re not clear on the analogy, Nicky, YOU are the retarded hamster 😀

      • Stinkycat says:

        What Nicky actually heard in his head when reading it (if he’s not hospitalized by now):

        “Nickolaus A. Pacione is the greatest darkity-dark Gothic horror writer ever. He’s just like Lovecraft but not a fan fiction writer. Ramsey Cambell just doesn’t get him. Rivals in the industry are jealous and want to do things with hamsters to him”.

    • Stinkycat says:

      Too funny. He would go for it because:

      1) He would be on TV, and he loves attention.
      2) He would get to go SOMEWHERE….if they paid for his trip.
      3) He plays the mental illness card but likely doesn’t really realize how sick he is. Therefore, he would see it as an opportunity to talk about how great his work is.
      4) I doubt it would help, but it would be funny to see the entire eposiode bleeped out due to his rants.

      Now I would enjoy seeing him get a web redemption on Tosh.O. for one of his many poorly executed videos. He won’t get the jokes though.

      • Stinkycat says:

        I take it back. I read some new Nicky comments this a.m. with my coffee and had to remind myself there is no cure for just being a hate-filled lazy talentless jerk. Sure he is delusional, but that is no excuse for how he acts. The mental illness excuse is a crutch he’s learned to get by on and justify for his inexcusable behavior.

  21. marc says:

    I still don’t think he gets the joke in the name Dick Sinu on that DA post.

    FFS just when you thing our favourite retarded freak can’t get any stupider…

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