What inspired this post is Nicky’s crazy Twitter stream.Β He’s been bothering Cherie Priest lately. She gets his flea on the ass of a yak deal.
He’s also been bothering Mary, Brian, Harry Shannon, Kealan, and Willie.Β He has a special hate for Mr. Ramsey Campbell, too.
Dear Nikita,
Please stop harassing people.
Love and kisses,
Rusty
If only!
Maybe we should all do a series of PSA videos on how plagiarism is bad, m’kay. Since he gets so worked up about people “staying silent” or “saying nothing” instead of “speaking out.”
And have important info like “having the same title isn’t plagiarism”
But according to Snickers, we’re all plagiarism advocates. As if there were a single thing about his illiterate drivel that anybody would want to steal.
Though I do have to admit that I’ve thought about writing a story starring a shark in Lake Michigan. Just to put a bee in his bonnet. I mean, it was a news story, wasn’t it? He doesn’t own the notion. But I can imagine his tirade about how I’ve ripped him off.
Might actually be worth doing, now that I say it out loud.
He often complains that his work is plagiarized, yet everything he writes is glaringly generic or notions that are public domain anyway. Hell, I might write about somebody going after a dude’s vital nine (a term he did not originate), an unwashed troll that lives in his parents’ basement lashing out at the world, a closeted fetish freak that either starts killing gays to try and quiet his urges or finally indulges in them, a failed writer that stalks others that he falsely believes are the reason for his ruin, or a recently displaced homeless shithead that wanders through the streets mumbling about being Lovecraft reincarnate who sneaks his own crappy books into dedicated museums then screams that they’ve been stolen when staff discovers and remove them.. There are so many takes torun with. A writer could fill a whole book with that psychotic doosh.
I’m already thinking up a story about a shark thing in a lake for Fossil Lake IV: Sharkasaurus π
I do hope you weren’t thinking of naming it after Dagon the Phoenician fish god, because we all know only Nicky can name lake dwelling shark thingies after ancient gods.
I was considering giving one of the people looking for the creature Dagon as a last name just to piss Nicky off π
Please tell me this is something to which I can contribute.
You can. Email Christine.
OOO!
…do I have Christine’s email addy?
christinemariemorgan@gmail.com
The guidelines for Fossil Lake IV: SHARKASAURUS! will be posted soon π
— C.
Sweet!
Is this something we’re writing badly on purpose, in honor of Nutbag’s inherent illiteracy? Or a serious effort to show him how it’s done?
I’ve got an idea brewing for a shark story, just for this. Fun!
They’re supposed to be serious efforts. Nothing wrong with having a funny moment or two, a la Ambrose Bierce, but it’s not necessarily satire.
Cool. I can do serious with moments of levity.
I’m considering using an anagram for the shark’s name: Gonad.
Nicky’s got yet another rambling word salad of a story up on fictionpress.com called “The Truth Teller.”
Yeah.
It’s more waffle about his Billy Porras obsession. Why Nicky thinks a random murder commited nearly a quarter century ago by a guy he barely knew is still significant to him is beyond me. I’ve never encountered anyone so utterly stuck in the past as Nicky. He talks about people he went to school with decades ago like the senior prom was only held last week.
In TTT there’s lots of stupid lines as usual. I thought this was one of the funniest:
“Though what I relate with everything I sit before everyone and relate staring at the screen right now with a laptop is true”
Wow. Did that suck or WHAT.
Who, I wonder, does he think is actually saying those things he’s got in quotes. I’m pretty sure he’s sitting alone in the basement as he types these incoherent ramblings. So whose voice does he hear when he imagines these quotes?
What I think is uproariously hilarious is that he thinks anybody is actually scared of him. Or that anybody finds his gibberish to be important to anybody on any level. Does he really think anybody considers him to be a “journalist” – or a real writer on any level? That’s just sad.
According to Nickolaus Pacione, these three tales are part of the Porras saga:
The Cabbie Homicide
Horror Author’s Real World
The Truth Teller
He has actually referred to “The Cabbie Homicide” as a higher accomplishment than Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart”. I get irked when Pacione brags that “The Cabbie Homicide” (pub. Jun 2002) shows that he (b. Aug 1976) was writing on the verge of age 26 like Edgar Allan Poe (b. Jan 1809) was writing at 40 with “The Tell-Tale Heart” (pub. Jan 1843). 1843 – 1809 = 34. Poe died 1849 at 40. In his mind, NAP is his generation’s EAP. (gag)
I’d be thrilled if he could type “I’m stuck in granny’s basement, by design.” The problem is that it would come out something like “In the gathering shadows of the fog in my mind, the crypt that is my home is totally darkity dark, and scary.”
I just spit some Powerade Zero on my screen. You’ll be getting my bill.
LOL!
I used too much punctuation, didn’t i? π
Maybe somebody needs to wall up that basement, Amontillado style. Chances are Nicky won’t notice until he needs to stock up frozen pizzas.
It’s not his telltale heart that would leak out and frighten people into madness. It would be the stench.
If the Metzengerstein fire doesn’t get him first.
More Nicky nonsense. Apparently he thought recording videos in near total darkness accompanied by screeching fifth rate metal was still too intelligible. So now he’s added a scrolling wall of unreadable text to complement his inane babbling.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?a=&feature=youtu.be&v=dJFi4373OfU
The computer I’m on doesn’t have sound, so I can’t hear Nicky’s honking – not that sound helps much in his case – but I’m having some fun with the closed captioning… which seems to have just flat-out given up. It doesn’t even TRY to interpret some of what he’s saying. But, here’s a transcript of what I’m seeing:
“Alright I’m going to try my level 5 2011 12:04 is true story. Two-year 20 but I want to say I play out so when you’re not alone but I don’t I saw her dog Phoebe already done so will talk to those who don’t make a lot while I rub my little boy did we say boy I got their board short call how they are. Brian will mourn his work and my stories without cause so charged sharing actual plan out your stores 2016 and cleaning up the garage. I’ll call you bought last walk around so I as you leave just sheer getting board so I college question call me I would show you what you.”
And that’s it. I don’t even know what the part about “rubbing his little boy” actually was.
I think he’s shooting these in the dark because he’s embarrassed about how fat he’s gotten.
The rapid-fire scrolling wall of text at the end is also insane. At least the font’s readable. He goes on about his new electricity provider (“ComEd”) and how he just bought a winter coat because he didn’t have one, then there’s some weirdness about a wooden spoon, and he talks about pissing on some guy’s picture.
Then it ends with this:
“Phone In Complaints
! (779) 379-2207
Best hatemail transcribed will be posted. Keep in mind I put hatemail on video when I get it too — so you should choose your words wisely because I will make you look like a fucker. E-mail: unclefossil@GMX.com”
He also lists his phone number in the text under the video. He’s begging for attention. It’s not very wise to put your phone number on the ‘net when your uncles are already getting sick of you living in their house… Seriously, this guy worries forever about his SSN but he puts his freakin’ phone number on the net? He’s doxing himself!
He really, really needs a visit from his local law enforcement authorities.
Wooden spoons again!
NAP’s Bing Italian rants aimed at Chad and Alex Savage included:
“L’ultima cosa che vuoi per un nemico Γ¨ un italiano, perchΓ© abbiamo un atteggiamento e l’unica cosa che abbiamo paura di sono attrezzi in legno perchΓ© la nostra famiglia utilizzato per noi disciplina con un cucchiaio di legno.” (The last thing you want for an enemy is an Italian, because we have an attitude and the only thing we are afraid of wooden tools because our family used to discipline us with a wooden spoon.)
Uhm… Turn on CC for that vid… I think that function on YouTube had a stroke but WAIT! At 3:45… COMEDY PLATINUM!!!!
Bahahahaha! You couldn’t ask for a better caption regarding Nicky.
I wonder if he got permission to use the music in his video? π
That sounds like someone eating lasagna while drowning.
I finally got to watch it on a computer with sound, and all I can say is… the sound did me absolutely no good. Usually I can make out enough to get the gist of what he’s talking about, but this thing was just a bunch of beeping and honking sounds. His house must be surrounded by really strange animals, answering what they think is a mating call…
I seem to have missed my name in the Twitter twattery. Am I unobservant?
It’s near the end of the blog entry to which he linked. Evidently, you’re supposed to be ashamed of yourself. *shrug*
“You want to hate me until I am gone, you had your chance last year.”
I may be some time in attempting to decipher this sentence alone.
Haha. You’ll need at least a few years π
You’d think a writer would have better than average communication skills, right? Nikita blows that theory out of the water. He’d win this Shit Lit contest for sure: http://www.yelp.com/events/new-york-sh-t-lit-comedy-show-and-bad-writing-contest-mondays-8pm?tl_ber=nzKIFAe46CsdkkkNiMvj4w&tl_sec=WE&tl_wid=Qjrx2fx6ZnmF0VXeuD_Qtg&tl_uid=G79pxTPLsGUhB_4zPS-27Q&tl_etype=weekly&bert=nzKIFAe46CsdkkkNiMvj4w%3AWE
I don’t know why I can never get pics to show. But, for what it’s worth,
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/73/72/33/737233711db051281ef7d5dbfb146cd0.jpg
You need to use image tags.
html img tags or bbc? the ones with the thingys or the [ ] brackets?
The img src ones enclosed by less than and greater than signs.
I imagine Nicky “rubs his little boy” all the time. No one else is going to rub it for him. Not even for money, which he doesn’t have anyway.
The description of Nicky as a “retarded burnt pizza” is just perfect π
Seconded! Perfect indeed! π
Didn’t Pacione mention creating burnt pizza by hot beef injection before people started throwing “burnt pizza” back at him?
I have wondered about his fixation on Cherie Priest. Looking back, at the time his bio on Wikipedia was challenged, so was Cherie Priest’s bio. His was deleted because he was self-pub and not notable. Hers was saved (in part) because she had been published by Tor and was not indie small press only. He maintains bitterness over stuff like that.