Nicky’s now begging the internet to:
- buy him ISBNs
- drive him to Walmart to buy a bunch of frozen pizza to celebrate his succesful upload of a couple of short stories
- buy him pre-paid gift/debit cards
Evidently, begging people to buy him new underwear and socks from Amazon wasn’t humilating enough. Now he wants the internet to fund his self-publishing efforts. Buying ISBNs and setting up an LSI Spark account is too expensive for this “publisher” to handle. I’m sorry, but a “publisher” who can’t afford the basic cost of doing business has no business being in business. Need I remind people his “company” has never been legally registered with the state of Illinois as a sole proprietorship or any other classification? He’s never even registered himself as a DBA.
He’s not some kid borrowing daddy’s shovel and asking the neighbors if they’d like to hire him to clear their driveways or front walks. This is akin to asking the neighbors to buy him a snowblower first, with no promise of getting their property plowed.
Maybe if he didn’t spend $50 on a hoodie, he could afford a few ISBNs. I get it that frozen pizza is cheaper than calling some local pizzaria for delivery, but it’s even cheaper to make it from scratch at home. In fact, I made a from-scratch buffalo chicken flatbread yesterday for dinner that fed both of us, with enough leftover pizza dough for two more. The cost of the flour, salt, olive oil, yeast, and sugar was approximately 50 cents. The chicken was leftover from a 6 pounder I roasted Sunday, that we purchased for 95 cents/lb. Buffalo sauce is just hot sauce and butter — pennies for a small batch, but probably just as inexpensive for a few tablespoons of store bought. More pennies for some blue cheese crumbles, and for the finishing touch, a little blue cheese salad dressing drizzled on top when it came out of the oven. It might have cost around $2 altogether, and was not only twice as large as, but also just as good as the ones my local “Publick House” sells for $10.
This whole begging thing reminds me of a classic quote from Blanche DuBois, a character in A Streetcar Named Desire, by Tennessee Williams:
“Whoever you are, I have always depended upon the kindness of strangers.”
Or, in the case of La Femme Nikita, stupidity …
He is utterly shameless. It would be embarrassing enough if he were still carrying on like this in his twenties but at 39 it’s just ridiculous. He also appears to be cracking under the strain of his current attempts to feign a veneer of professionalism in his online interactions. He must have got a real scare from being kicked off CreateSpace and having his books yanked from Amazon. He’s running out of places that will print him fast, but he’ll screw up anywhere he goes. His impulse to spew violent threats and abuse is just too strong.
Does any one know exactly when he’ll be kicked to the street? It can’t be much longer now.
Ack, sorry if this posts twice – the server ate my comment.
Super-cheap, super-easy pizza dough that even Nicky could make:
1 cup Greek yogurt
1 1/2 cup self-rising flour
Mix and knead for five minutes or so, adding flour if it’s too sticky. Roll out and brush with olive oil, then top with sauce, cheese, meat, veggies, and anything else you want. Bake in 450 degree oven for 12 minutes. And that’s it. It’s AMAZING. I don’t know how it works, but it does.
The yogurt I buy suggests using the yogurt instead of cheese to make it less fattening, but I haven’t tried that. I’ve made the dough about a hundred times, though, with never a less-than-incredible result.
Nicky needs to just start putting his stories on a blog, if he insists on writing at all. It’d save him a lot of time and effort, since it’s highly doubtful he’s making any money off of them anyway. In fact, I’d bet his “career” actually costs him a hell of a lot more than it’s ever brought in. I know he’s paying for the fantasy that he’s an “author,” but nobody’s believing him, anyway, so it’s not much to give up. If he’d give up the fake “publishing” maybe he’d at least be able to buy his own underwear…
Self-rising flour is just all-purpose flour with baking powder added. Similarly, if a recipe calls for cake flour, just use one less tablespoon of all-purpose flour per cup of cake flour than the recipe calls for. No need to keep two or three different kinds of flour around.
I’ve used plain yogurt as a substitute for sour cream in recipes, but never tried using it in place of cheese. Yogurt’s acidic, so that would be why it works with baking powder; it would certainly have the same effect on baking soda as lemon juice or vinegar. Greek style yogurt has most of the whey removed, which is what gives it the sour cream texture and thickness.
Curious…just greek yogurt and self-rising flour? no yeast? is it flat and hard? Which brand of greek yogurt do you use or does it not matter?
I use Chobani Greek yogurt, but any brand should work. Once when the store was out I used their generic brand and it worked fine.
No yeast, just the Greek yogurt and self-rising flour (or all-purpose doctored with a little salt and baking powder to convert it). That’s all you need. And you don’t need to pre-bake it — just put the ingredients on the raw dough. And it’s not flat or hard — it rises soft and fluffy. I even used it to make cinnamon sticks like Pizza Hut sells, and it worked for those, too.
My dad helped me out with a few items last week but it was stuff I really needed bath towels (his wife is a teacher and gets lots of them as gifts he offered me some) and his old office chair because he bought a new one. Also a few cleaning supplies. But I wouldn’t have asked for the stuff Nicky think he’s entitled to.
There’s a possible nitwit quote from a tumblr post he made last year in March where, hilariously, he admits he is a stalker.
“I don’t stalk twelve year olds – the average age of writers I try to is at least 20 years old.”
Jeez, tne nerve of the little creep!
And I am so trying all the recipes all I see around here! 🙂
The pizza dough recipe I use is very basic: proof a packet of yeast with 1 tsp. of sugar, and a cup of warm water. Add 1 Tbs. of kosher salt (or a pinch less of regular table salt) and 2 Tbs.of olive oil. Stir in 3 cups of flour, turn out and knead it for a few minutes until it’s elastic/springy, sprinkling with flour as needed. Roll it into a ball, coat with oil, and let double in bulk. Divide into 3 pieces, ball each, and let rest for 10 minutes before rolling it out, or however you want to shape it. Makes three 12″ crusts. I use rapid-rise yeast in the winter, because we keep the house pretty cold, but regular is fine if it’s warm enough.
I notice he doesn’t offer to share the pizzas or chip in for gas for the poor person who has to deal with the terrible body odor and nasty behavior nicky is likely to exhibit for their trouble of being his chauffer.
It’s unclear whether he expects the hypothetical uncompensated chauffeur to also pay for his frozen pizzas. With Nicky, you never know …
Seriously, with Pacione, who really knows?
The award for a $300 pledge to his Sinister Souls Kickstarter was “You hang out in Chicago and Joliet with Nickolaus Pacione for a few days” with perks like an exclusive video interview in the Field Museum talking about Dagon the bull shark of Lake Michigan.
The honor of his presence on a grocery run to WalMart for free!!!! Even if you paid for gas and pizza, that would be less than $300. Whattabargain. Who could pass on that?
if I had a lexus I’d take him up on it for the funzies of watching him flip out over the car I drove to pick him up!
Make it a black one, and he’d soil himself so badly that people would be able to smell it clear across Goose Lake.
Your pizza sounded delicious. I may have to try that. Thanks for the dough recipe. I don’t think I ever made fresh dough.
Every time I think I’ve figured out how stupid/crazy Nicky is, he goes and one-ups himself. http://www.tsu.co/napacione/92373616
==============
The Will To Turn Someone #Unpublished
When one had been published throughout their twenties and had seen their work published in print right as they turned 28. I’d go crazy if I was unpublished all together as @Uncle_Ablert thinks it’s rather funny to turn someone unpublished when they told the truth. briankeene@live.com well he’s gone after my XXX-XX-XXXX and that’s well against the law for fraud as http://CreateSpace.com was destroying evidence I needed to really take him out and expose him for this.
Saying I need to get a jobby job pushing a broom for less than minimum wage or minimum wage in 1993 that’s not even funny when someone had been paid $4.74 per hour as my chapbook I published well this is $4.00 and one man’s hourly pay. So thin about that one a minute what are you trying to prove by turning someone unpublished and stealing their identity in the process.
================
As always, it’s hard to make any sense out of that (Nicky’s thought process feels like racquetball) but several things become clear:
– Nicky doesn’t understand what “minimum wage” means. Getting a job that pays less than minimum wage would mean somebody’s breaking a law.
– federal minimum wage was never $4.74. It went from $4.25 to $5.15 in 1997. It’s currently $7.25.
– $4 is nobody’s hourly pay. It’s barely a half-hour’s pay. And that’s only pay if he actually sells any. How many of those glorified napkins is he even selling? My guess is ZERO. Or very close to it. He can sneer all he wants, but “pushing a broom” would make him more money than his “publishing” is, and it’d be more honorable and useful. People need sweeping done, while nobody needs another self-published batch of incoherent babble.
So, yes, “thin (sic) about that one a minute.” And while we’re “thinnin'” let’s “thin” about “turning someone unpublished” in the first place. Can’t be done. You can stop someone from publishing further, but if they were published once, then, they’ve been published. It’s a stupid, stupid argument. It’s like Nicky trying to accuse someone of trying to turn him back into a virgin.
Then, he’s published “throughout his 20’s” but was first published at 28. Huh? How’s that work? Okay, I’m tired of “thinnin'”!
I know he’s stupid, but he doesn’t understand very basic concepts. it’s weird.