Apparently, Worlds of Wonder has been taken over by Lilley Press, and is under new management. I’ve never heard of it, but rarely have I ever heard of any of the magazines that run Larry’s stories.
The name and theme of my story, “The Hell Walker”, was originally based off this concept I had for a comic book character. A priest. One who is self-righteous and has the ability to travel through Gehenna, and do charitable deeds for demons and other creatures.
Sounds exciting. As if a demon would appreciate a good deed . . .
And in the last two days, since my arrival home from the hospital, probably one of the best “Get Well” presents I’ve ever received… Yeah, we all collected them at one point or another.
Um, no, we didn’t. Thanks for sharing that nugget of Larry-lulz with us, though. As proof, Larry posts not one, but two pictures of Larry Smurf — one overexposed, and the other underexposed, as if to prove how quickly his colors can change.
Larry Smurf is pretending to type away on a laptop, while seated to the side, not facing the monitor, and only vaguely facing the keyboard. That explains a lot. 😉
LOL.
May the lulz be with you.
Hmmmm…
You know, I could be wrong, but from what I recall about Gehenna… well, it’s the valley of Hinnom and was used as a big land fill which would routinely be burned.
Ummm.. yeah, okay… demons *might* live there… but why shouldn’t a priest be able to pass through it, just like everyone else?
Webster’s says it is the home of condemned souls, not demons.
Sorry, but when there is a real, literal place called Gehenna, I’m not going to refer to it as Hell, or Purgatory, or anything else of Celestial Origin.
Especially when that place was a historical land fill.
Oh, and the idea of a “self-righteous priest”… wow.. a novel concept, indeed.
Hey, this one is actually a paying market! They pay $5 (don’t know if that’s $5 US or $5 Canadian). Big leap forward for Daggy.
“A priest. One who is self-righteous …”
*koffkoff*SolomonKane *koff*
cliche.
Cliche.
That is Daggy’s middle name.
I suppose a condemned soul might appreciate a charitable deed, but the idea of a priest shuffling through a landfill, picking through the garbage, looking for demons is far funnier.
Plausible and boring vs. implausible and hilarious . . .
I’m sure Larry wanted the best of both options and settled on
implausible and boring.
Yes, Gehenna was the valley of Hinnom and it was used for burning, and so when talking about the fires of Gehenna that was what was originally meant.
It was then latched to meaning hell.
Would have thought a self righteous priest would be more likely to condemn the demons, but hey.
A self-righteous priest is more likely to troll the burn unit of a hospital calling the patients there demons, citing as proof the fact that they got burned.
Think Montgomery Burns meets Jerry Fallwell.
“I suppose a condemned soul might appreciate a charitable deed, but the idea of a priest shuffling through a landfill, picking through the garbage, looking for demons is far funnier.”
Okay. This is the time to take a good idea–which I must admit Daggy does produce–and make it a better story.
Any story writers here, take Rusty’s version in quotes above and write it! It would be in essence a new story and not plagiarism (Yeah, I did my research on that, unlike some people 😉 )
Go for it.
Do vampire priests count? 😉
Worlds of Wonder? Isn’t that the name of the company that made the Teddy Ruxpin doll twenty or so years ago? Man, I miss that fucker.
Karen,
I’m sure vampire priests would work well in the Gehenna land fill.. I doubt the flames would bother him any more than the demons in the garbage, but of course he’d have to got out at night.
OOOoo!!! How about a vampire, lesbian, self-righteous priest with a shaved head, covered in cross tattoos? Or have I gone too far?
🙂
🙁
NOOOOOO!!!
Teddy Ruxpin scared me…. my Dad used to make him sing Alice Cooper…
Actually, I think that little bugger is still trapped somewhere in my mom’s closet…
Alice Cooper is trapped in your Mom’s closet?
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
That would scare the shite out of my jabba-the-hut, hacking, little snake of a mother!! Muhahahahah!!!
School’s out for summer!
“…trapped in your Mom’s closet?”
Oh, please don’t bring R.Kelly into this.
How about a vampire, lesbian, self-righteous priest with a shaved head, covered in cross tattoos…. and with a gatling gun for an arm, and in he has a big Bible welded to his chest, and he goes round dispensing words of wisdom while shooting up the demons?
Plus he has a thing for the Smurfs.
You have me sold on the Smurfs,
Waitaminute, CritGit… now I’m all a’blustered… I thought that the vampire lesbian priest(ess), who is self-righteous and has a bald head with tattoos of crosses all over it, wanted to do “good deeds for the demons” that live in the valley of Hinnom amidst the burning refuse? How can she do that if she’s shootin’ up said demons with a gatling gun arm??
I mean, come on.. we need some *consistency* here..
(smirk)
I think the Smurf fetish should remain.
Dern it.. my comment got et.
CritGit, I thought that the vampire lesbian priest(ess), who is self-righteous and has a blad head covered with cross tattoos, is supposed to be “doing good deeds” for the demons that are roaming around a burning land fill? How is shootin’ said demons with a gatling gun arm doing them a good deed?
My god, we must have some ORDER!!
(smirk)
I think the Smurf fetish should remain.
What about a Lucifer who hates being called Satan, runs a bar, smokes weed, and contemplates the meaning of his otherworld existence, while dealing with that fucker Loki (not Loki from the boards — he ain’t a fucker — I mean Loki the Norse dude with flaming red hair).
It’s my pathetic attempt at dark satire. 😉 (Coming some day, when my lazy ass writes it.)
For the record, Smurfs scare the ‘bleep’ outta me! heh
“How about a vampire, lesbian, self-righteous priest with a shaved head, covered in cross tattoos…. and with a gatling gun for an arm, and in he has a big Bible welded to his chest, and he goes round dispensing words of wisdom while shooting up the demons?
Plus he has a thing for the Smurfs.”
Crit just described 60% of the manga being published today!
I wish. I am almost an expert in lesbian themed entertainment especially Japanesse entertainment.
You didn’t go too far, but I think you just stole something from Ed Lee’s City Infernal.
Yes, been thinking anime a bit too much recently. 😉
But surely shooting them up while lecturing them on the error of their ways is doing them a favour, if this priest is so self righteous?
Also, I take it this lesbian priest isn’t Catholic. 😮
Ok, so this priest goes through Gehenna doing ‘charitable’ deeds, and stops off at Lucifer’s place whenever he can. They hang out, Lucifer gets high and so the priest can get information out of him, and he only smokes normal cigarettes because he wouldn’t want drugs in his system. Oh no! (we could go brit and call them fags, just for shits and giggles)
Hmmm, maybe be killing the demons in Gehenna, they are sent to a better place? Would be very charitable.
I think a lesbian priest would more likely be Episcopalian. Speaking of which, I have an Episcopal priest character who’s also a werebear. Father Griz is a one-eyed alcoholic who picked up lycanthropy in Cuba during the Spanish-American War. He’s a fun one to write about.
LOL! I love it. 😀
I love it.
I have a werebear in my Lycan Blood novels, but I can’t say which one he is without giving away the twist ending in Then Exiles Return.
Well, the Smurfs have been attacked, the new fiction pulled apart, so how about someone now voices that it’s good to know Mr. Dagstine got through his surgery ok? It’d be nice for someone here to show a touch of humanity towards a man which is so openly followed within these pages.
Guys, keep things professional, not so personal. Larry’s flesh and blood like the rest of us. (And yes, I know I don’t have to read here, post here etc etc. and I further appreciate my ass is now in line for a kicking for voicing the above. I’ll paint the bull’s-eye on to assist 🙂 )
Vern.
Are werebears like carebears?
Now those fuckers were scary!
At least it’s not Furby…
Them little bastards bring out the inner serial killer in me, wishing they were living creatures for me to mutilate in ways that would make Vlad “Sticky Wood” Tepes take a step back and say “Dude, you got issues…”
I need more caffeine…
Off topic:
carebears
I once had a sub in high school that thought that glaring, tapping her foot, and saying “I’m giving you the care-bear-stare” would be intimidating to teenagers. Oddly enough, she didn’t last long as a sub.
Hmm … imagine … we could have Nitwit Smurf, and Butthurt Smurf … the entire Legion of Smurfs!
Eew. I just did imagine. :: brainbleach ::
“Vlad “Sticky Wood” Tepes”
ROFLMAO!!!!
So, who’s putting together the official Rusty Nail Priests in Gehanna anthology? Where do I submit my short yarn, “Father Griz Disembowels Beelzebub – Film at Eleven”?
That should be “Father Griz Disembowels Beelzebub in City Landfill – Film at Eleven”
Carebears are problematic, but Popples are the world’s cutest and scariest demonic host!
Omg.
I had a Popple. He was blue and purple, mostly. I used him as a pillow.
Once I get some projects out of the way, if I have some time, I just may start a little story about our Landfill-loving Lesbian Priest….methinks t’would be great fun.
If you like that Otter, I might to brush up on some more lyrics to “Barnacle Vlad the Impaler”
ROFLMAO X2!!!! I love it!
I suppose I could write a short story in which Father Richard, the self-righteous priest, takes the Staten Island Ferry, gets lost, and finds himself in the Fresh Kills landfill, looking for the condemned souls of those who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11. He would then recommend Blu Phi’er as a publisher for their tales of anguish, intoning “Touch the blue fire. Touch it.”
So, who’s going to edit this puppy?
If someone wants to send me a proposal for a volume of Snark Horror (we’ll create a new genre), I will definitely give it some serious consideration. It might be fun.
The “Old Monster Presents” line of anthologies and collections is just getting started.
Well Larry’s back on SL as delusional as ever. He’s posted a topic about emails asking him if Phobia is going semi-pro.
Toes up is more like it.
Here’s the link.
http://shocklinesforum.yuku.com/topic/5823
Cuss,
If I knew how to do a proposal, I would send you one. But I think the idea is hilarious…
I keep thinking of the two old guys from The Muppet Show decked out in leather regalia searching for nitwits and scam artists to bring to justice.
” My advice is to just follow up on Ralan, Duotrope, maybe places like that.”
Didn’t he say that those sites were worthless?
Yes, he did. He doesn’t stop to think before he makes blanket statements, so when he subsequently contradicts himself, it never registers in his mind that he’s done so.
A picture of a smurf?!! Hey, I brought that up. I claim copyright. You book-burning bastard!
So was that really his big interview? That list of meaningless questions and attempt-at-humour answers. That?
Or has the big unveil no one cares about yet to happen?
(I only ask as Die Hard 4.0 is boring the crap out of me)
His post is obviously self-promo.
No one at SL asked the question, so there is no reason to post that unless he is seeking to garner attention for his upcoming interview.
Sad.
Of course it’s shameless promo. He’s hoping some street cred ill rub off on him if Phobia does go semi pro. He forgets, his writing is what will make him a pro not someone else’s coattails. I even doubt he got these supposed emails.
I think Larry is being a Baaad boy. His sheepish posts are so transparent I would call them shear.
As someone else pointed out, he is bleeting out the answers to questions that no one is asking.
Shear? Sheer? He’s been caught wearing his gf’s pantyhose again?