I don’t quite understand the context, but it seems Peaches posted one of his really old stories on some message board, paragraph by painful paragraph . . . with predictable results.
If You’re Bored
April 10, 2010 by Rusty
Posted in Legion of Nitwits, Nickolaus Pacione, Pacione | 36 Comments
36 Responses
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Ok, now…. what… the… fuck…. did I just read?
I feel like I just had my brain mashed up by Rod Serling in a way that is indescribable in the sense that it cannot be described or described in a sense.
Also… pigraping fatherfuckers! ;D
My thoughts exactly. The Nicky member page posts are in reverse chron, but it still doesn’t make a whole lot more sense if you go to the original thread.
Is it just me, or has his skill with the English language gotten worse?
“Topic: I will be posting my horor storys here thanks”
That doesn’t read quite like Nicky. He knows how to spell “faggot”, for once thing, and the sentences aren’t quite disjointed and nonsensical enough. I think it’s a talented imitator (and I’m using “talented” in the very loosest sense here.)
I love the pigfucker comments. Jesus, how does anyone posess the skill to actually write down a torrent of abuse like you’d just shout out in a row!
I mean, when you’re hot under the collar and have a row you say some mad shit, but to acually think it, type it etc? A mad gift!
If it’s not Nicky, the person did take the time to copy and paste in the text from his old Theo Wolfe story. I’ve seen the original a couple of times, and ETT mentioned and/or linked to it at one time. Nicky’s earlier stuff, in general, does read marginally better than his more recent things.
I’m with Alice. I saw some of this earlier via Google Alerts and decided that someone was having fun imitating Nicky.
The person posting as Nickolaus_Pacione is obviously a fake. While Nicky does know how to spell faggot, the i and o are adjacent, so it’s an easy typo to make. I saw the alerts, and wasn’t sure one way or another, and still am not sure, but I wouldn’t rule it out, either.
yeah that’s definitely not Nicky.
this is
“Gets to pick the closing track on Carol Sullivan’s horror film (she’s adapting a story of hers) ”
I’m sure someone is going to pay the licensing fees for some OMGMETAL song Nicky picks out. I’m sure she has two predetermined songs and she’s letting him think he’s helping.
hehe remember the last time he made it into cinema? that blind lesbian vampire movie he knew the makers of let him put one of his books on the shelf in a scene and suddenly he was about to make it big.
Al, where did you see that comment by Nicky?
His VampireFreaks status
“The only body part that was not damaged was his dick and scrotum sack … The first person to discover the horrid image was a young nurse … she wrapped up in blankets like a mummy because her flesh was cold to the touch.”
But the sleepsack enthusiast refuses to even touch “alternative sexuality” LOL.
WTF?!?
The “victim” seems to be him (as most characters he writes about are) so he had himself mutilated in a story but made sure his cocknballs are intact. Check. Seriously…wtf?
Also notice he is a vampire in that story as well. Didn’t someone (ETT?) uncover that he was a fan of Anne Rice at some point?
Anne Rice and Clive Barker to boot, it was on one of his old websites that ETT has archived I believe.
That was back when he wrote the prison story that had “tossing salad” (and a description of what that means) I really do think his Maryland trip is a large part of why he hates teh gays.
He still has that prison story up on his website, it must have been a really low security prison as well.
“because they noticed that the cellbock was always dark and there was a coffin where the bottum bunk will be. ”
In most prisons you’d think someone would have picked up on the bottom bunk being switched out for a coffin straight away.
But Lewis, that’d mean our dear Nicky would have had to know something about Prisons, and do research! Shame on you for thinking he’d do something so professional.
His dad is in prison. Well he was I dunno if he still is. He must not write.
“Tabloid Purposes II
I wish I can say I still have these for sale but some bitch that wasn’t happy with what she got paid had this book pulled from the storefront, In turn she took a massive shit on a dead author’s memory. She did that because she didn’t like the fact she didn’t get enough exposure — so it almost cost me the company that time because I snapped on her in a review.”
I remember him demanding Jenny give him a copy she had, but is he really still without the pdf of that?!
Yep, I have a legally purchased PDF of Tabloid Purposes II, which I once offered to him for $100 (for my time in finding it on one of my portable file storage devices and sending it to him). He starting screaming extortion.
I don’t know why he can’t just get a copy from one of his contributors, though.
Oh, and after what Melany told us, I find this just as infuriating if not moreso
” I am doing this so my son can eventually find his father when he gets older — these books will be something he can look at and remind him of his father. So if my son reads this, The Tabloid Purposes Anthologies are my gift to you.”
And Nicky made so many threats against the adoptive parents, me, and my family it’s not likely his son will ever be told the name of his father to ever look nicky up. I know I won’t tell him, and his adoptive parents won’t bring him up.
“So if my son reads this, The Tabloid Purposes Anthologies are my gift to you.”
Let’s hope the boy has sense and rejects the gift with a letter that says he’s Gay.
Now that would be irony, wouldn’t it?
That’s from his open letter to his son, that I think was on his old Crazy Life blog. Nicky’s basically forbidden contact with his son, so he hopes the boy grows up, Googles him, and buys his books to read. It’s not as if a package will show up for his son, or anything like that.
Ah, now that’s a relief Rusty. I know my niece was given up for adoption but when she’s sixteen she’s allowed to look for her parents and the rest of her family. It’s sad when an adopted kid can’t contact the parent.
But in Nick’s case, it’s definitely needed protection for that kid/adult.
If the boy Googles him, I’m sure he’ll quickly wish Nick wasn’t his father.
“That’s from his open letter to his son, that I think was on his old Crazy Life blog.”
The most recent reference to his son that I posted here is from his Tabloid Purposes site on ulmb about the tenth paragraph down. I know which one you’re referring to Rusty but this one unfortunately is more recent
Mew wall of fame and wordpress postings from our favourite frothing midget. He’s really taken a shine to ptaylor.
http://npacione.wordpress.com/about/world-weird-web/
This is new or updated, isn’t it?
“…since I am also a photographer.”
Want to know how insane he is? On his Deviantart page, there is a blurry cellphone camera-quality picture of the BACK of a pigeon…you can’t see it’s face or that it’s even a pigeon unless you didn’t know what it was…and he’s proud of that picture. As in, he actually used it in one of his publications.
And I’ve noticed his new repeat this week is that he’s a Conservative and that’s why people hate him. Yeah, that it.
I wonder if it was taken with one of those cheapo digital cameras you can buy for kids? We had a few of those at the place I used to work at, and the quality of the pictures was that bad.
It’s really kinda lovely to see his brain in action. His mind is this sluggish erratic octopus, occationally grabbing hold of something drifting by and trying to incorporate it into his being by ramming it up his brown vagina.
I once took a picture with my cellphone camera – I am now a professional photographer.
I once wrote a postcard – Hey! I am now an established author.
I also put the postcard into a mailbox and sent it. – Woohoo! I guess I’m a publisher too now.
Last year I wrote a letter to my local newspaper – Why hello there! I’m an investigative journalist.
I agree with every part of that except the cellphone part: Hes never owned one because he never leaves the house! Sadly whatever he took it with was a digital camera with horrid pixel quality.
Man. He’s got new entries on both his WordPress and Blogspot blogs. I’ve got some catching up to do. He always seems to get active when I’m sound asleep or making dinner.
Well, regarding the Blogspot post…Paul and I have been e-mailing back and forth a little bit about writing and stuff, and that’s not the e-mail address I have for him. So either Nicky is lying (although the e-mail seems too well written to have made up by Nicky), or Paul has another address (entirely possible) or someone (like Daggy) is impersonating Paul to rile Nicky up.
So, when I was 13 and got a poem about World War II put into a Legion Magazine, does that mean I got published at 13? Does that mean that I’m more published than dear Nicky-poo? Just curious…
Hey Melany: On his vampirefreaks profile he once again mentions that his mother is 15 years older than he is ( I wonder if she knows he does that/wants that out?)
We were told many moons ago that his dad went to prison for having sex with his 14 year old mom, which is why he never met him.
The latter part of that has been confirmed, were you ever told anything about his real dad?
lol
” I wish I can go older but it would feel too weird being my mother is 15 years older than I am. Even if I do like them slightly older.)” XD