Having been banned from the entire network of Yuku hosted forums for a second time, Nicky posted his submission call on his Tumblr.
Since the rape-babies got me kicked off Shocklines, I am going to post my guidelines here.
Apparently, “rape-babies” — something he knows all about — is his latest verbal tic. It’s a highly professional phrase that’s sure to attract submissions.
His formatting needs are simple.
Send the story as a .doc attachment but don’t indent the first paragraph use the ruler to indent the paragraphs.
Evidently, setting the paragraph formatting in the word processor software to automatically indent each paragraph 0.5″ isn’t sufficient. You must use the ruler, folks! And keep hitting the space bar until it lines up as best you can get it with the mark. Or something. He forgot to mention in this version of his guidelines that he wants it single spaced, but I believe he mentioned that part on Shocklines before his ban.
No showing tits in the pictures ladies or showing your ass.
Because he’s only interested in seeing moobs.
If you want to throw a few slurs around, have at it but keep it to a low roar. Don’t do anything that would get us thrown off lulu.com.)
Because he won’t edit your story, and if you slip in something against Lulu’s TOS, he’ll forever blame you for his carelessness when he gets banned from there, too.
I am paying Editor’s Choice meaning one story overall is going to be paid out of the whole anthology.
Basically, you won’t get paid, if you send him a story, you won’t receive a contract, and he might not even let you know he’s accepted your story.
I am looking for a woman to do the photograph that will be the basis for the artwork. I will explain what I want in the photograph in a private message.
Darn. We’ll never know what he wants. Oh, wait! He tells us in the very next sentence.
The photograph will be of the woman in bed completely Goth’d out with copies of Richard Matheson’s books placed all over her while she is sleeping on her back covered in a blanket up to her shoulders.
So, she can wear Care Bear pajamas or golf clothes along with her Elvira makeup? Cool.
And, just in case you missed the point where only one contributor gets paid:
I am offering payment of $30.00 editor’s choice meaning one person out of the whole anthology will be seeing the money.
How much would you like to wager that Nicky will choose one of his own stories as “editor’s choice,” so he can keep the money to blow on pizza, beer, and butts?
I don’t recall seeing that bit about not flashing their breasts before in his guidelines. Could that be a reaction to seeing Tabbyscat’s picture on her sites?
I think that requirement is new. Either Tabetha’s selfies grossed him out, or he’s been looking at too many other selfies from pouting teens in too much makeup on Facebook or Instagram.
Or VF… home of the freaky desperate teen
QFT.
Did he also forget something else that is kind of important? A way to GET your submissions to him?
No email address was included in this version of his submission call, same as the previous one(s). No snail mail either, although he asked for the .doc as an attachment, not a hard copy enclosure.
I think Richard Matheson’s estate might have something to say about the use of images of his books on another commercial product… that’s a law suit in the making right there.
There’s also the question of WHERE he’s going to get all those books. I doubt he owns a single matheson book let alone many.
I would also hope that any girl out their considering being Nicky’s model will google him and see how he constantly calls women ‘cunt’s and ‘whores’ and tells him where he can stick his photo shoot.
Well done! I’ve put up a primer on what professional behavior according to Nikita is, as I can’t top this. http://secolbertblog.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/how-to-be-a-professional-the-pacione-way/
I’m trying to understand how he thinks anyone could even see that the books were written by Richard Matheson if they are strewn over the body. After all, it will be painted for some reason. Can he not visualize that this will not show up on the cover? Unless he does a shot looking down on her(and even then how would you know the books were done by Matheson in propertion to scale). It simply wouldn’t read and is simply a horrible idea.
This reminds me of his story where the lady is found hanging in a sleepsack except somehow the detective knows she was raped. This psychic ability would also allow him to visualize how Goth the lady is dressed under the sheet (or sleepsack).
What a horrible cover. I like how this was supposed to be Stephen King and Richard Matheson fan fiction, until posters let him know King used gay characters. It’s now clearly just Matheson fan fiction.
And Matheson had gay characters too, but he seems to filter that out.
Oops…I bet he’ll have to make it Poe fan fiction now.
Here, have some Tabetha cray-cray. Hopefully you can stomach the font on the newest entry. http://wickedkrazy.blogspot.com/
“If you don;t like how I conduct my business or my life then turn the other way and take care of your own shit.”
People would if her terrible business practices were only affecting her and not innocent writers.
I’ve met people ho went through far worse than her and didn’t turn out to be raging assholes.Typical nitwit, blame everything else except the image in the mirror.
Yikes. I thought people stopped using Comic Sans back around 1996 or so. It looks so … grade school teacher-y.
As for the content, I can translate: “Poor me. I had a rough life, so Ima take it out on all o’ youz, and if you don’t like it, tough shit.”
I smell fake bravado with an overtone of desperation. Her schemes aren’t going according to plan, so she’s having a tantrum.
You nailed it. Just like Nicky. He comes out swinging w/ his hateful bile and talking what a bad boy rebel he is. Then when he gets called out it’s poor me I get bullied, I was the product of a teenage pregnancy, I am on disability, Melany put a curse on me, Brian/Koehler/Poppy Z Brite/gay people/the sun/the moon all made my book not sell- NOT my poor writing and editing skills.
I couldn’t read it. Only a 12 year old would use that font…a decade or two ago. I made out a lot of whining and a sob story then stopped bothering to finish it.
Oh, look. She just changed her entry to an even more annoying/unreadable script font.
It’s too painful to read. Nicky did top that though with his blurry cursive handwriting which he scanned and put on the back of one his books. I never understood his explanation for why he did that, but he sure was proud.
NIcky’s mental rolodex just spun back around to me, and he sent the following lulzy email (warning: vulgarity ahead…but y’all probably knew that already):
“If anyone is the fucking troll it is you because you hide behind not having a face on the web. Shut the fuck up and let me get my submissions for anthologies then allow me to run my magazine in peace. You have no right to 15 Minutes Before The 11th Hour and doing that is making you look like a raging bitch. You hate me fine, don’t ruin my publishing company over it. That little “cover” you designed for Robert Baupader is a fucking plagiarism. You are entitled to hate me but trying to sabotage a submission call is not allowed. Are you trying to get Lake Fossil Press closed down and endorsing a lie of new ownership? ”
He really doesn’t like my current blog subtitle, “Mocking a basement-dwelling troll and his crappy writing since 2007”.
Oh wow, great site! I look forward to reading Cabbie Homicide.
Thanks! I really need to get the story finished, but I should have some down time this weekend to work more on it.
It seems Nicky’s confusing you with Angry. Is he also confusing letting a domain expire with being shut down by some voodoo force working in his favor? He has to know he had nothing to do with it “going black.”
The next question is whether he intends to purchase those domains, along with the LakeFossilPress and his namesake ones that were also allowed to expire? Altogether, there are at least five expired domains up for grabs that he previously wanted but couldn’t afford to register, let alone have hosted. In my estimation, he still can’t afford them, but if he wants them, now’s the time to grab them before some other meanie poopiehead does.
There’s no way he will purchase those domain names. I think you need a credit card to make the payment–unless you can do it via Paypal??–and he doesn’t have and can’t get a credit card.
I thought he had a debit card at the least.
I’d love to know where his illusion about being cursed by Melany came from… What’s that about? Does he think she is a witch?
Yes, he does think she is a witch. She’s wiccan, but nothing that would fit his delusions.
Though to be fair a lot of people think Wiccan and witch are one and the same no matter what you say to them.
But being Wiccan means a special way of honouring nature – not having a wart on the nose, cat on top of your hunchback all the while cooking “Nicky-failure- potions” in a cast iron cauldron…
My is he deluded!