Hat tip: Fallout3
Is Nicky being kicked out of the house? He’s talked about wanting to move out of granny’s basement for years, but has never really done more than talk about it. He hates rules, and he hates having to chip in for the costs involved with living anywhere — even with his relatives. Maybe he thinks paying his share of rent and utilities will be cheaper than the monthly electricity bill at the house in Morris.
The following screenshot is from his Twitter feed. I wiped over Brian’s personal email address, which Nicky thoughtfully included, and boxed around the tweets relevant to his roommate search. Otherwise, it’s all Nicky. He can’t even spell Schaumburg correctly.
Well, we all know what happened the last time he lived in an apartment with roommates. Granny made sure he spent a week or two each month back in Morris, and the rest of the time, he could stay at the apartment in Justice. Nicky thought Crazy Michelle was supposed to be his nursemaid and chauffeur all rolled up in one. He got really ticked off when she couldn’t pick him up at the hospital to drive him home after yet another of his false alarm episodes.
The reasons behind it are unknown, but he stopped paying his share of rent and utilities, then got kicked out. On his way out, he stole an old computer and Michelle’s camera. In fact, he bragged about stealing the camera during one of his forays into Chicago for a big weekend on the town, and posted a picture of himself holding it up for show.
Note that Nicky has no intention of signing the lease himself, nor can he. He needs someone creditworthy to do that. His intention is to have someone else sign the lease, then become one of the other roomies.
Warning to anyone considering signing a lease and taking on Nicky as a roommate: don’t. Unless you can cover the rent and utilities by yourself, he’ll get busy ruining your credit within a few short months. If you can cover rent and utilities by yourself, what on earth would you want with a greasy, smelly slob like Nicky? Either way, find somebody else to be your roomie, if you want or need one (or more). Crazy Michelle used to complain about his personal habits, and said he “always smells like ass.” What better, um, recommendation could you want?
I’m a little queasy thinking about it.
So basically he wants to pick the apartment, put it in someone else’s name, and expect two or three other someones to drive him all over creation so he can go to shows and “photograph” models in dark spooky places.
I thought you could only catfish if you were pretty.
But, he is all glittery …
Hahahaha. Sparkle Pony for real!
Exactly. Then he can just sneak off in the middle of the night leaving the other roommates holding the bag when he blows his welfare on nonsense instead of paying his share. He’ll get butthurt over some imaginary slight and use that as an excuse to shirk his responsibility.
I cannot imagine ANYONE meeting Nicky and thinking living with the filthy pig would be a good idea. His appearance is off putting, and he has to smell like musty clothes and BO.
B.O., mildew, and, as Michelle would attest to, noxious farts.
I thought his plan was moving into one of those assisted rent controlled living facilities near J-town for ‘special-glittery’ snowflakes.
That was the plan in his head a year or two ago. One of several things could have happened: 1) he couldn’t be bothered filling out the paperwork (way too hard!); 2) he didn’t qualify; 3) his disability status requires a guardian of some sort. I’m going to place my bet on #1. He claims he has no legal guardian.
Basically, he’s too lazy to do anything on his own that doesn’t involve ranting on the internet, so the #1 scenario is the most likely. Besides, he wants someone else to take the fall when he defaults on his financial obligations.
Sparkles the Unicorn cried over paying $250 a month back when his grandparents were still alive, and we all know even that doesn’t cover what he consumes in a month. So basically he’s free-loading now. He can’t afford Assisted Living, they take 30% of your income for rent. The only place for him is the mental ward for decades of therapy!
Yeah, I’m sure St. Joe’s has a cozy bed for him in a nice locked ward.
Heck, he cried over it when his grandparents shaved it down to $200/month. I have no idea whether Section 8 housing is available for that little. I suppose it’s possible, in somewhere unsafe or extremely rural. But, Nicky wants to live closer in to Chicago than Morris.
FWIW, my first domicile out of college was an apartment. No roomies. Cost me close to $500/month, plus one’s month’s “security” upon signing the lease in the early ’80s. Nice place, but moved out after the landlord raised the rent 25% each time the annual lease was renewed. Bought my own place instead of renewing that lease. It was so much cheaper to do so.
My rent is $206 per month, subsidized for a one bedroom. I was lucky and had help filling out the paperwork. It includes utilities and garbage, but not phone, cable or internet. If Nicky were my room mate I’d just have cable TV in MY bedroom and you better damn well believe my internet connection would be password protected and Nicky would NOT have the password.
You ROCK, Mel. I mean that. Does that make me mean?
Only if I’m mean because I think you all rock with me! I would also add to the list…a damn good lock on your bedroom door if you take Nicky in as a roommate to keep him away from your computer and any other valuables because when you finally throw him out he’ll take whatever he can carry with him even if it isn’t his.
“He always smells like ass.” I nearly choked with laughter when I read that 🙂
In the past, Nicky may have been able to mask his horrible hateful self long enough to worm his way into a share house before his roomies realized their mistake, but I think he’s too far gone to pull it off again. He also has age against him now. House sharing is mainly a young persons world, and Nicky looks 38 going on fifty. Any potential housemate with an ounce of sanity would take one look at him (and one smell of him) and run a mile. And even if they’re somehow not put off by his slovenly appearance and lack of personal hygiene, alarm bells will start ringing the moment he opens his mouth. Nicky’s always been hard to understand but lately his speech has become virtually unintelligible.
The reality is that Nicky already looks, smells and sounds like what he is destined to become, a rambling homeless old bum.
There are still a few white knights kicking around and willing to take the rest of us to task. I think they should take Nicky in.
^^^^^ This is a good idea, I like this idea. Come on, high-roaders! Now’s your chance! Prove how much the better-people you are!