Predictably, it went poof. Screengrabs after the cut.
Epic. Truly epic. We should all thank Nicky and Matt Schwartz for providing us with such great entertainment.
So, who got banned this time?
Either I’m safe or he hasn’t gotten around to me yet. Nicky’s online and probably giving Matty a long list of everyone that was mean to him.
Whoever did, I bet it wasn’t Nicky.
I haven’t posted to Shocklines in probably four years or so. But that was fun.
Also just noticed that there are some pages missing, as I thought the thread was at page 15 or so before it got Mattinized. Looks like he chopped some stuff out before nuking the whole thing, because my epic post about Shark Attack 3 was the last thing in the thread. Ah well, some of my comedy gold is gone forever…
I may have missed something at the end. Still, the pagination is different when you’re not logged in. For whatever reason, people logged in see more pages. Those not logged in see 20 replies per page.
Brian Keene as Jesus was epic
Greatest Shocklines thread EVAR.
I got a mention!!
Too bad I was too busy elsewhere to participate. I did not even know it was happening.
I was busy playing Blood Bowl.
Wow, Nicky just got beat the shit out of.
Nice to see, couldn’t happen to a nicer dude.
I wonder if I should let him know about Game Over?
Professionally speaking, that is some serious bugfuck crazy right there.
So glad I bid Shocklines a fare-thee-well. Though my goodbye post got deleted … wait … what does that mean? Did it never happen? Spooky!
I want to write a paleontology story set at scenic “Fossil Lake” now.
I wonder if “Fossil Lake” is anywhere near Fossil Creek, Texas?
It’s in Oregon. I may have to visit.
Christine, so often I want to ask your professional opinion of our Nicky. Then I realize your head would likely go splodey.
I agree Karen. I have plenty of experience with Bi-Polar disorder and I have NEVER dealt with anyone quite like Nick.
I’d put my money on a big steaming pile of Axis II personality disorders.
With Borderline leading the pack, Narcissistic and Paranoid tied for second, and Antisocial pulling for third.
Other horses in the race would certainly include Bipolar (given the way he goes in fits and starts) and Borderline Intellectual Functioning (same word but different meaning of “borderline” there, can get confusing).
Bearing in mind of course that I’m not a psychiatrist with the ability to diagnose. Just a toiler in the residential-psych trenches with 20 years of experience observing the behaviors in action day in and day out …
Yanno Sabledrake, I think that level of experience gives you qualifications that would put to shame any wet behind the ears Ivy Leaguer.
“I’d put my money on a big steaming pile of Axis II personality disorders… With Borderline leading the pack, Narcissistic and Paranoid tied for second, and Antisocial pulling for third.”
That’s been my own assessment for years.
So my diagnosis of: Self-centered douchebag who thinks that he’s Mommy’s special snowflake that the rules don’t apply to
Isn’t really correct?
Damn. Guess I lose the pot.
Ant, your diagnosis is as succinct and spot-on a layman’s interpretation of his various disorders as I’ve seen.
And I’m not a psychologist, either, but I’ve also got close to twenty years’ experience in almost daily contact either by phone or in person with folks with all manner of disabilities. I’d throw a little fetal-alcohol-syndrome into the mix, just to cover everything. I doubt his IQ is high enough to call it borderline, although he is fairly functional in a few areas requiring no special skills but the same sort of perseverence (as well as perseveration) that Ed Wood displayed in his own field of enveavor, albeit with much less talent, if that’s possible.
Ant — what Otter said 🙂
In fact, it’s his serious problem with perseveration that makes me think there’s some organic damage inside his poor little head. It’s like something threw his mental reset button out of whack, and he can neither understand rationales nor change thinking gears once he starts down one discoursive path. That and the hypergraphia seem to indicate something structural going on, based on my own experience. Hypergraphia is a common symptom in some brain tumors, for example, but I asked him about that years ago and he said he’d had a clean CAT scan at some point. Not sure I believe him, but that or some other structural anomaly might be responsible for a lot of his perceptual deficiencies. He may actually not be able to see that his grammar and style don’t match everyone (or anyone) else’s. He overreacts to criticism of his work from his Axis II diagnoses, but the basic perceptual insufficiency that leads to that criticism could be organic.
Just a thought, anyhow.
I kept wondering when Nick was going to clue in or if Kim had finally locked him up properly. I’m disappointed yet sadly entertained. Of course it did quickly devolve into him whining about how no one respects him and how he has the right to say anything about anyone…
It takes giving others respect, to gain any respect Nick. As you don’t even respect yourself I doubt you’ll ever get very far in that department. Do you EVEN understand the words Please, Thank You or I’m sorry, have you ever used them in a genuinely appropriate way? I didn’t think so, which in turn indicates that you will never apologize to anyone and actually mean it. You deserve nothing.
Sable – you do write it, and I want first crack at it! 😉
I was having a pretty shotty day yesterday, then I saw that thread, and Bryon’s Christ-Keene and Hell-Keene, and it just got so very much better. Definitely days worth of giggles, anyway.
I live to serve…er…make shitty Photoshop pictures. Hell, Alkilyu isn’t around doing it any more, so SOMEBODY’S gotta do it!
Did something serious happen to Al or is he just off somewhere in the wilds of the internet?
I always assumed he was behind the “Sighlon” alias on Shocklines, but I miss the Photoshop-Fun.
I liked Christ-Keene, but then I also liked Hell-Keene
But which one is better?
There’s only one way to find out!
I vote for Christ-Keene and Hell-Keene t-shirts. One on each shoulder… 😉
Ooooh that’s good marketing!
That was pretty darn amazing.
Where does Nikki think he’s getting his power from? Sharks in the water imagery, but how often has he been able to do anything to any writer, let alone someone who’s actually got some clout? Where are the sharks? What’s he going to do?
I sort of get the idea that he’s been stolen from. In his mind, everything he comes up with is unique, and anyone who takes from him is stealing those ideas. I also genuinely want to know if he believes his writing is good enough as it comes out in draft. Everyione else talks about revision… but Nikki thinks his work is good the moment it hits the page.
Oh my sweet Cthulhu–what if he does revise?
First off, if he revises, all he does is make it longer. *NEW AND IMPROVED! Now with 30% more inactive ingredients!*
Regarding those sharks, they’re the famous Ghost Land Sharks of the Chicago River, silly. 😉
I somewhat remember him telling people that he believed rough drafts were pure and shouldn’t be messed with, or something like that. I think it was in an old wall o’ text in his submission guidelines from years ago.
‘I somewhat remember him telling people that he believed rough drafts were pure and shouldn’t be messed with, or something like that.’
@Jarrod: Buh @_@*
Seriously I can’t even parse that with the fact that Nick ‘considers’ himself an editor.
I can, Neve. Nicky thinks editing entails reformatting a perfectly normal document with some weird-ass unreadable font(s), and doing copy-pasta into the combined doc. If he’s feeling particularly ambitious, he changes the dialogue a little to add a bunch of swear words. Given that Nicky’s pretty good at those two things, it makes sense that he considers himself an ace editor. We won’t even get into what editing really entails . . .
Even though I’m already disassociating like crazy over unrelated issues, I think that’s exactly why my brain broke Rusty. If I treated any of Daverana’s projects like that Cuss would boot my ass into the next stellar age.
. . . and follow you there to kick it some more. 😉
Ha…I have that Quint pic in my stash.
I think that this feud between Nickolaus Pacione and everyone else in the horror community has been going on for far too long. It’s time to bring everyone together in a spirit of cooperation and understanding. To that end, I have created The Nickolaus Pacione Fan Tribute Project and I invite everyone to please submit to it:
What a wonderful effort, NPacioneFan. I’m sure that some of the EG contributors, like Shirley perhaps, will be thrilled to contribute.
Meanwhile since the devil makes work for idle hands and I’ve got a bunch of softsynths installed here and plenty of time… can I get the correct pronunciation of “Pacione” here?
You wouldn’t want to make my Billboard Top Ten monster hit sound bad, would you? Hrrr hrrr hrrr hrrr…
I’ve always pronounced it pah-CHOH-nay.
It’s Patch-own. Nicky himself pronounces it that way most of the time, although one time I could have sworn he pronounced it Patch-ee-own.
I don’t think we can take Nickys pronunciation of it as valid proof of anything. I wouldn’t put it past him to not even be able to pronounce his own surname. Yes, I think THAT highly of his mental faculties.
He can’t even spell his own name, so I doubt he can pronounce it properly
I’ve always pronounced it as “dumb-ass.”
Pacione… I always assumed it rhymed with “baloney,” “phony”…
I always thought it was PA-SEE-OWN
His name is
Nick P the Bad Writer
Pacione the Bed Wetter
He’s a greasy
With teeth of yellow
Who fucks a pillow
The horror master
The blog blaster
40 thousand words
In a literary turd
Six months work
For a hunchbacked jerk
His name is
Nick P the Bad Writer
Pacione the sock fucker
He’s a greasy
With teeth of yellow
And a spunk covered pillow
This is the way I’ve always read it. But, when he was still making video blogs for YouTube, I heard Nick pronounce his surname two different ways, like the examples that Rusty posted above.
I am surprised he nailed my last name correctly in a video. I have lost count of how many times that someone mispronounced McClellan over the past 34 years.
It matters if I’m recording a song. ;D
Then again, mismatched rhymes might fit the bill perfectly, lol
No, but seriously, its a bit of a difference if it ends in “own” or “own-ee”, rhymewise and that’s my main concern.
(not that I understand just why the f@qk I seem to care, though… right)
In that case, I think you’re safest by going with a “own” sound for the ending.
Ok, since both Rusty and Jerrod Balzer are saying “own” for the ending, I’ll go with that then. I asked to be sure cause I’ve been personally working with “patchy-own-ee” for a long time myself so it’s good to know I was wrong before I did a faux pas there.
It was “own” when I knew him…but pronouncing it wrong would likely piss him off more than calling him Nicky and it’s varients 😀
Melany makes a good point. Maybe it SHOULD rhyme with macaroni, just for the sake of effect.
You know I kind of like that, myself, especially if it would irritate him. In fact you could even extend it for parody and use just about every variation in pronunciation you can think of for your rhymes.
If Pacione rhymes with macaroni then it also rhymes with phony, baloney, pony (*snort*), stony, rigatoni, pepperoni, crony, shoshone…um…abalone. OK, I’m out of rhymes, but some of those have very amusing possibilities.
Funny, I was just thinking of the Yankee Doodle rhyme as soon as I saw macaroni, and that has pony in. Superb!
Jenny makes a good point about mispronouncing his name. It also reminds me of “Vince the Slap-Chop Guy.” Anyone see the spoof of the Slap-Chop commercial, set in a jailhouse, that’s posted on YouTube? It’s hilarious.
Pronounce it right on the first mention; change pronunciation to fit the rhyme scheme thereafter.
Moany little git has a new and short wordpress up. For some reason he felt the need to mention Poppy.
LOL I love his explanation for the mullet. I didn’t know ‘bakers’ were required to have that particular hair style.
Bakers are the rockers of the food production world. m/
I’m sure he’s unaware that Albert P. Pacione, Jr. is a tax lawyer in New York.
Oh dear. I’ve exerted myself to be polite to Mr Pacione, but his comment about my dear friend Poppy means I cease to treat him like a gentleman. Are you reading this, Mr Pacione? I do hope so. I look forward to dealing with you as you deserve.
Ramsey, it’s a never-ending cycle. You can take him to task over and over and over again, and it will do no good. His family won’t reign him in, the docs won’t give him the proper meds he needs, or he’ll half them, and there is no one to intervene anymore. Even the law has given up on Nicky. And, of course, Nicky doesn’t care who he hurts, who he offends, and has no respect for himself, never mind anyone else. It’s like a back-filling hole. Sadly, all you can do is laugh at the antics of the frantic, lunatic hamster spinning ceaselessly in the wheel, or shake your head and walk away.
Karen’s pretty much correct. His cousin’s wife, Kim, does seem to care, and does try to make sure he gets and takes his meds, but she has her own physical limitations, due to MS. Nobody else in that family seems to give a rat’s kiester, though.
Nicky periodically spins his mental Rolodex. It stops on a name, and that lucky person gets a dose of Nicky’s misdirected rage. It’s even more interesting to watch when he plays his Chinese Menu game, and chooses a name from column A to connect with a perceived crime from column B. When he really gets going, he posts a blog entry that reads like a page from Mad Libs.
No doubt some people have called his writing incoherent drivel (I know I have, many times), and others have posted photoshopped pictures, but Nicky never gets it right when he makes his wild accusations about who did what. His threats of violence, arson, e-lawyers, and fraudulent PayPal bills merely add spice to his pudding.
He’s gone after Poppy since he started on the net as far as I can tell. She has gay characters having gay sex in her books. Nicky can’t deal with that – it presses two of his buttons at once and makes him reach for the sock drawer. After he’s finished he has to hit out in shame with another one of his rants.
“I am getting sick of people calling me a plagiarist when I don’t plagiarize my work.”
Does he actually know what a plagarist is? Judging by the SL thread and the amount of times it was explained to him, I’m starting to think not.
Oh and I know it’s old, but saw this on his blogspot:
“In the six years I’ve been a publisher, I had never been violated in the worst way…”
How long ago was this incident with the Transformer toy then? 😀
Damn your eyes and all those of your kind! You had to make that comment just as I was amusing myself with fanart of Chris-Chan and his Megatron pistol. Now I’m stuck with the mental image of them sharing it. Decepticons! SCRAMBLE!!!
Right. Time to stab out my mind’s eye. Don’t mind me.
Hahahhaaa! Megatron might have been too easy for him to fit in.
Pity it wasn’t a He-Man character. Fist-O would have been perfect!
If it was a He-Man thing, then it’d be Skeletor. A reprise of Gnarkill’s offering of Skeletor vs Beastman springs to mind…
“hey Watchtower Society since you like to play with human life by banning blood transfusions, let’s see if you want to play with me a little bit. Yeah I am waiting for you to see Ghosts In The Tornado.
I’m sure they’re terrified. :Þ
“…since you like to play with human life …”
From the same guy who wants to ‘play God’ and shoot gay people and Angry in Illinois?
Did he make a deal with one of Hell’s less-competent demons to build that solid bubble he seems to live in?
Yes, he made a deal with Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light and Lord of Dorkness.
Oh, come on. Everyone knows I don’t reside in Hell. I darn people to Heck. It’s a bit of a niche market, I know…
Mr Brendan, are you a Dilbert fan by any chance?
Used to be, Marc. Credit where it’s due, that was my source material for the previous quip. 🙂
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