Nicky would like to share with us how he blew $50 worth of his less than $800 dole check this month. Yes, sports fans, he spent $50 on a Twilight Zone hoodie. I can’t tell for sure, but it looks like the kind of iron-on transfer lettering that will crack and peel after a few times through the laundry. He’ll probably wear that thing until it has to be peeled off like a band-aid, so if we assume it goes through the laundry once or twice a year, he’ll be taking selfies in it through the end of this decade.
I can’t tell what book he’s holding. Is it the one with the oompa-loompa skater on the cover?
Anyway, $50 seems excessive to me for a sweatshirt. I usually pay $10 or less for sweatshirts (hoodies included) from the sales racks at beachwear shops, off season. If I pay more than $10 for a sweatshirt, which I believe I’ve only done once, the logo had better be embroidered or appliquéd. I certainly wouldn’t be blowing $50 on a sweatshirt if I couldn’t pay my utility bills. My priorities aren’t screwed up like Nicky’s are.
I get it that he grew up as part of the instant gratification generation, and has worse money management skills than a tomato hornworm, but, damn! If he’d stop buying things he doesn’t need, especially since he’s on the dole, he’d have the money to pay his bills — or enough of it to keep the creditors off his back. There would be no need to set up multiple crowdfunding appeals on the internet to pay his bills, buy underwear, socks, fancy sneakers, new cameras, a new computer, and colored pencils. This is a lesson Nicky will never learn. Work is something other people do. Budgets are for other people, as far as he’s concerned. People need to buy his incoherent drivel, not because it’s a good read, but because he’s poor. Sheesh.
Mostly black cover — white PACIONE near the top — [quick run through Books :
“Nickolaus Pacione” at Amazon] — I’ll bet it’s the Namesake, the legendary museum in the library of the museum, “Nickolaus Albert Pacione Delivers: A Library of Unknown Horrors”, Lulu 2008. ( http://lousybookcovers.com/?p=424 )
Also in that Amazon listing on NAPD:ALUH used copies are priced:
“Paperback from $1,143.45 1 Used from $1,143.45 1 New from $1,481.72”
BTW the asking prices for the Nov 2010 version of the Namesake from CreateSpace are less hilarious.
So, it is the one with the oompa-loompa cover. Lawl.
Today’s tripe:
“I am developing a world for Amazon.com for Kindle Worlds — let’s see how you can handle the rough climates of my work Campbell and no Poppy Z. Brite clone bullshit then no bullshit you pulled with Shadows Over Main Street. Mary Sangiovanni was a cunt since year one as I dealt with Kealan Patrick Burke; how did you get a copy of Suburbanite’s Confessional as I was maing cracks about your 1989 work as you wrote characters who are sperm belching kakwitches. You zeroed in on me when it was really none of your damn business when Melissa Brite and I banged heads. I don’t make up fictional villages or towns; I lived in the places I wrote about as Legend Keeper I wrote the story set in the same world as your novel from 1989. Ancient Images and Legend Keeper can go toe-to-toe as that novella is highly researched as I weighed in on Sangiovani’s hometown and Kealan Burke’s hometown before I cut Glendale Heights loose on both of them. You have to look into the history of the area to appreciate my work as I doubt you will take the time to really look into and took interest in what I did you just took a shit on int and slandered my magazine without even buying a copy of it.”
Ten dollar sweatshirt with a forty dollar iron-on, bought by a two-bit moron.
“Ancient Images and Legend Keeper can go toe-to-toe”
That wouldn’t be a fight, that’d be a mugging. Ancient Images would be Mike Tyson equipped with brass knuckles, Legend Keeper would be an under-performing toddler distracted by a kitty.
I have to admit, though, when I read Grin of the Dark, I could see a bit of Nicky in Smilemime…
I laughed so hard that my sinuses started clicking. Guess it beats an aching ribcage — or a splitting headache.
All his problems would be solved if he just got a friggin’ job. Loser.
But what kind of job could he hold down? Remember how he was bragging about how they had measured his IQ and found that he had “a really high IQ of 89 points”, when he believed that the IQ scale ran from 0-100 points? I don’t doubt that for a second. They probably told him that 89 was high, because it was 89 out of 100, just to shut him up and keep him happy. With a measured IQ in the 80’s range, Nicky is technically borderline retarded, so that rather narrows down the jobs he could reasonably hold down.
In ye olde days he could probably have been the village latrine emptier, digging shitpits and carrying the sloshing buckets around. Today, I dunno.
I was wondering about that, and about all I could come up with was hot-patching potholes in the highway. Maybe stacking boards in a lumber yard or mowing lawns, if his marshmallow body could handle it. Something physical and away from the public.
Nicky can’t be trusted around other people’s food, because he’s a walking health-hazard, and a vindictive sociopath, so that leaves out the “burger-flipping” he disdains so much. He can’t work in Wal-Mart or anyplace where he’d have to be around customers, because he’d be yelling obscenities at people when they didn’t recognize him as the author of “Porky Pig Tried To Kill Me” or whatever, or if he discovered they didn’t know enough about Glendale Heights and therefore must die.
He can’t even telemarket because nobody can understand a word he says; he sounds like a car alarm going off and panicking a flock of geese. His communication skills in any medium are zero.
Whatever he did would be a lot more honorable than what he’s doing, but I don’t think he really has many options. I know people with even lower IQs than him who hold down respectable jobs, but they’re nice people who know how to get along with others. What Nicky’s intelligence level would leave him eligible for, his horrible personality would eliminate.
I worked in a thrift store that hired people with IQs lower than Nicky, and they were totally awesome to work with. They often knew the ins and outs of the job better than I did! Nicky wouldn’t last an hour there, though as I couldn’t even see him handling the simplest tasks like dusting the shelves, sweeping the floor, or just sitting quietly pricing merchandise for sale.
But, he could be one of those squeegee guys standing outside the Lincoln tunnel.
For twelve years, I have worked for Vocational Rehab, helping people with lower IQs than Little Nicky’s (questionably high) 79, plus a variety of other impairments. Many of those folks have found full time work with good pay and benefits, and are no longer receiving Disability pay. The only thing Little Nicky lacks to achieve the same is a severe shortage of gumption.
Yup.
Both my Dad and Step Dad worked for the State’s Vocational Rehab office. They’d probably end up having that little greaseball committed after trying to work with him.
That was a 79, not an 89. Either way, it’s nothing to brag about.
Bwahahaha! I remembered it wrong. Seventy-nine, eh? So, he’s got an IQ in the 70’s range? He probably wears those velcro sneakers then. I imagine shoelaces might be a tad too challenging for him.
Gee here I spend my disability check on stuff like groceries, rent, and my car loan. My ‘treat’ for the month was $6 to a ladies’ coloring night where I’ll spend another $7 for a very yummy sandwich to go with the free drink and fun times! But then I budgeted for that and make sure to save up for things I WANT to do not desperately need to keep my ass from getting evicted.
Yeah, you effin’ ____, you’re doing it wrong! No, really, you’re doing it right. Kudos, {{{Mel}}}.